Here are some questions I have received. These men gave me permission to repeat their questions here.
KS wrote: "Hi David. I'm a real sentimental fool nice-guy AFC when it comes to being sexual with a woman. I have read a lot of the archives, even gotten depressed at points, because the knowledge challenged my old notions so aggressively."
Here's where you went wrong. You let the knowledge depress you instead of enlightening you. Personally, I found the knowledge to be very enlightening, almost freeing. It was great. Like Major Mark says "Reality will always be your best friend." The key is being able to see things for what they truly are. Tune your NLP filters such that you perceive "reality" as it truly is. Get rid of any "self limiting beliefs." If you have a belief that is limiting you, challenge it and get rid of it.
"Despite my mature age and having a few girlfriends, I am sexually inexperienced. Because of the scarcity in my life, I get really attached when a women gives me some attention."
The scarcity/poverty mentality can be paralyzing. It is only a self-limiting belief, not reality. Get rid of it. The attachment is clinging onto hope, a result of the scarcity mentality.
"All my life I have sub-consciously assumed that sex and love are intertwined. However, they're not, although they can be."
Very true. They're not, though they can be (in a context.) Social programming has everybody believing that love comes before sex. But when you look at reality, you find that most women have sex and then maybe, in some cases, fall in love.
"I realized I am really afraid of women."
Fear is your self-limiting beliefs talking to you. The self-limiting beliefs are about women. And thus the fear of women. Replace your self-limiting beliefs with enabling beliefs, and you will be inspired by women.
"I can't relax enough around women to really enjoy them."
Relaxation is the absence of tension caused by internal conflicts between beliefs and desires. Work on your beliefs such that they become congruent with your desires. Then they effortlessly propel you to your goals. Always believe in yourself. Never doubt your own abilities. Never concern yourself with what others think of you.
"Were you ever in my position? Were you ever a sentimental fool who often got his heart crushed because of his nice-guy ways?"
Yep. I didn't think it was fair. Why should women be so cruel while I was so nice? Then I realized that a woman needs a man she can have respect for. Many men make the mistake of believing that being nice means being a push over. But a woman needs a man she can have respect for. Nice without strength is just wimpy. It's OK to be nice, but it has to be in the context of respect. You must command respect. She will only respect you if you have respect for yourself.
"Were you ever nervous or sexually clumsy in the bedroom?"
Nervous? Maybe a little sometimes. But clumsy? Maybe a little bit the first time, but my God, how fucking hard is it to fuck? I mean really! Think about it - it's totally natural. When you can see it for that, it's easy. Allow yourself to BE a sexual creature. As for giving women unforgettably incredible pleasure and expanding her envelop of sexuality, then yes, technique and skill are required. Fuck 'em right the first time, and there will be plenty of opportunity for further refinement.
"If there was a turn-around point, when was that point? I mean, how long after studying this stuff did you experience your first post AFC success?"
It was gradual for me - a string of little successes that over time built up my self-confidence. But looking back, it didn't have to take so long. Like Major Mark says "You can take the long route of incremental changes, or you can have an epiphany." In other words, just "BE Sensually Powerful."
"Was there ever a defining moment when you could say to yourself, Ah-hah!! that's it! My former (AFC) self no longer exists! He's gone, that hell is over?"
Yep - when I saw things for what they truly are and I decided to BE.
That's called 'Healthy mammalian behavior.' Listen up, women love sex. Women love passion. You need to become comfortable with that fact, and you need to be ok with it.
"My sexual inexperience showed. I was really nervous. She pulled all of the moves. She was quite experienced, so I feel some humiliation at not being able to properly 'handle' her."
How 'experienced' do you know her to be? How 'experienced' does a woman have to be? Chances are she was just being sexy. She was just being a woman. She was just being comfortable with her own sexuality. She was just BEing. You are the one who generalized that as 'experienced.' There is a lesson in that for you. You don't need to be experienced to be sexy. What you need to BE is The Man. Be the man she needs you to be so she can be all the woman she wants to be.
"We fooled around the whole night... no intercourse though. She never called back... and it really stung."
Sorry to hear that. She may have sensed your nervousness. Women have their ways of knowing before they lay the guy if he's going to be a good lay or not. If not, they bail. They will ask you questions, they will challenge you, they will put opportunities before you; and in each case, they will watch how you respond. Just BE The Man she needs you to be, and your responses to her testing will bring her closer to you. Interestingly, you most often don't need your own original material; she will provide everything you need.
"So, if she's giving me clear signals do I offer her a message"? Sure.
"If she says yes, what kinds of things can you say to a women to really make her feel good and sexy?"
"If I'm massaging her, could I use SS language like Orion does in Magical Connections."
If she is giving you such obvious clear signals, that won't be necessary. Orion's language is for seducing women, but your woman was obviously seducing you. Often times all you have to do is show up and agree. Give her what she really wants - a good thorough fucking.
"Before bringing a woman into the bedroom, what do women like to hear from a guy? Are compliments in order? For example, if I'm massaging her, is it cool to say... 'you smell wonderful' or 'your skin is so soft.'"
Yes, compliments are in order IF she is giving you such clear indications. Reward her good behavior. Tell her how she makes you feel. Tell her what you like about her. Remember: Women like to be feel sexy. Women like to feel beautiful. Women like it when you like them. When she has respect for you, compliments will make her feel those things. Of course, do not overdo the compliments, as that will dilute their effectiveness. And always remember, women like to fuck. They like passion. However, they are sexually submissive creatures and they certainly don't want to seem like a cheap slut, so they won't make it obvious. So they put out signals and rely on The Man in you to respond to those signals and to do something about it.
"Ok, I don't know what to say... I guess, more than anything, I'd love to know what to say to a women, before, during, and after sex."
I think you do know what to say. What you need is permission to say them. And only you can do that. That can only happen when you believe you deserve that which you want.
"After sex, do you compliment her?"
Probably not, it would sound like she was being told she is a great fuck. That reduces her to a thing. Instead, you want to elevate her to a new height. Tell her how it has made you feel close to her. Say to her "Oh Baby, I feel so close to you. I cannot hold you close enough." Then say "I hope you're not going to just roll over and go to sleep. Talk to me!" That always cracks 'em up. In the words of Don Juan Demarco "Every true lover knows that the moment of greatest satisfaction comes when ecstasy is long over, and he beholds before him the flower which has blossomed beneath his touch."
PR wrote: "I met a woman and early in the conversation she told me she is at the age where she has reached her sexual peak. She said in her early twenties she couldn't quite get all the satisfaction she wanted from sex, but now she can come and come and come. I just listened and nodded my head, not knowing exactly what to say."
Oh God, that was a golden opportunity. I would have (out of genuine curiosity)
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL gently steered her in the direction of further elaboration, more detail, including more of the senses, timeline-ing it all over the place, until she relives all those orgasms and they all get linked to me.
I am a little wary of women who jump right into sex talk. It all too often is a warning flag for trouble. But I also think it is often a test, which as we know is a good thing, because our responses to her tests bring her even closer to us. Call her on it by requesting further elaboration. She can either lay out the map or she can dig a deeper hole.
"Out of nowhere, she asked me, 'Do you like pussy?' I say, 'Of course, why wouldn't I?"'
I would have said "What do you think?" to indicate that it was a stupid question not worthy of reply and that she is expected to explain herself. Women can often be clumsy at brining up direct conversations on the subject of sex, but when they're determined, they'll do it.
"Then she asked me 'Would you fuck a girl really rough if she wanted it?' I said, 'Sure, if that's what pleases my partner.' She said, 'What about slapping her face. Really hard?' I said 'Slapping her face? Hard? I dunno. I think I might draw the line at that. A little slap, but hard?' She said, 'I like it REALLY rough. I want a guy to throw me around, push me to the ground, slap me. But I don't want to have to tell him to. I just want him to DO it.'"
That was a golden invitation to run with it. She was obviously telling you her rules for moving to sex, and better still, she was testing if you were man enough to bring out the sexually ruthless woman in her. Basically, she was interviewing you for the position of DOM. This is a good thing. However, there is one immutable truth about a DOM, he is NEVER questioned. In fact, whenever he is challenged, he simply ignores it and he challenges back. As a general rule, when a woman asks him "Are you man enough?" he responds with "Are you woman enough?"
When she asks "Would you fuck a girl really rough if she wanted it?" reply with "Are you a girl, or are you woman enough to take it really rough?" When she asks "What about slapping her face. Really hard?" reply with "Could you deal with the red hand print you would have on your face?"
And then when she just totally lays it all out on the table by saying "I like it REALLY rough. I want a guy to throw me around, push me to the ground, slap me. But I don't want to have to tell him to. I just want him to DO it" then it's time to call her on her big mouth and close the deal. Reply with "I would have already grabbed you and thrown you in the car, but I'm not convinced yet that you're ready."
"But if I do that, I fear that she may later cry rape."
Of course men should be concerned about false allegations, just as women are concerned about physical assault. Practice common sense in everything. Just because she asks to be taken rough doesn't mean you would immediately oblige her. That would be desperate.
The sub may beg, but the DOM determines if and when.
Submissive women often are very sassy and spoiled. They are used to getting their way when they want it. But when they do, they loose respect. Deep down inside, they long for a man they can respond to. They are the ones that need a true DOM.
The DOM is a mature and patient man who will not be pushed. The DOM leads his woman through a sequential training program where she learns responsiveness. Incremental progress is made as she demonstrates competence of successive skills. Only proper behavior is rewarded.
Eventually they both get what they want, exactly as they want it. At that advanced level, their adult activity would be thought of as shocking to most people.
AP wrote: "My girlfriend wants to read David Shade's Manual. She wants to learn how to hypnotize me and how to increase the number, duration, and intensity of my orgasms. She loves seeing me in the throes of orgasms and extreme arousal. Now get this, she wants to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on?! What if she hypnotizes me and plants a suggestion that I love it and come like crazy if/when she does me anally? Jeez, talk about testing your limits."
Let her hypnotize you. What's fair is fair. As for her using hypnosis to increase the number, duration, and intensity of your orgasms, she can use the same hypnosis techniques that you learned in this book. Butt ass for her ramming you with a John Holmes casting, there is an alternative that is far more pleasurable for both of you...
You hypnotize her and make it her reality that she has a penis. Have her masturbate to orgasm. (See Chapter 1.) At any later time, even while she is fully conscious, she will again be able to make it real for herself. She will be able to feel her penis and be able to masturbate it to orgasm. Then on the big night, when you ass-ume the position of the fuckie, she will actually be able to feel it! And better still, you won't!!
If she asks about using a hip mounted weapon, simply explain to her that it will only distract from her pleasure.
Only reward her for good behavior. She cannot have her way with you until she has demonstrated consistent mastery of 'jack off skills. Only then are you two ready for 'The Big Night.' Have fun with it. Make HER take YOU out to dinner and dancing. Say things like "Do you mean it when you say you love me, or are you just trying to get into my pants?" "Do you just want me for my body?" "Are you going to respect me in the morning?" "I want to be appreciated for the unique individual that I am." It will drive her crazy, but it is all for affect, and as you will find, ultimately for her increased pleasure.
It is every woman's ultimate fantasy. Just once, she'd love to take her dominant man and bend him over and fuck him hard. There are two interesting side affects for her. One: she will become very possessive of your ass. Two: it will be by far the most exciting orgasm of her life.
NR wrote: "David, could you give an example of what it means to be an
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL Alpha-male in the bedroom?"
I don't really relate with the term 'Alpha-male' as it has many connotations, but if I understand what you are getting at, I will share one of my experiences. It was a late Sunday night...
My girlfriend and I were very tired after a long weekend of late nights at the night clubs and then tender love making way into the night. So on Sunday night she went to bed early. Unfortunately I had to stay up to do my taxes. I finally finished the Federal taxes at 2:00 AM. (Damn Schedule D for capital gains!) I was still wide awake from all the coffee. I contemplated doing my state taxes or doing my girlfriend. After about a half second of deliberation, I went into the bedroom and undressed and then I pulled the covers down and woke her up by saying "You need my cock" while I pulled her panties off. She was blinking and looking for the clock to see what time it was. I immediately separated her legs and started licking her clit. She stopped wondering about the time and started holding her breath. In about a minute she came. While she was still catching her breath, I got on top of her and started doing the nasty while telling her "You love it when I fuck you hard like the horny little bitch that you are." She probably woke the neighbors when she came again. Then I got up and said to her "Assume the position and take it up the ass like the horny little slut that you are" as I went to my dresser for the Astroglide. She slowly turned over onto her hands and knees just as I returned to lube her up. Then I did the dirty deed while holding a fist full of her hair and telling her "You love it when I fuck you hard up the ass like the horny little bitch that you are. You are a very naughty little girl." She came again. Then I laid on my back and told her to get on top of me with her back to me and to watch herself in the mirror as she impaled her ass upon me. As she did that I said "You love watching your ass ride up and down on my cock. That makes you so fucking hot. Show me how good you can fuck your strong man with your ass!" She was going fucking nuts and came again. Then I said "Now lube me up and jack me off and take my cum all over your face. You love it when I blow my wad all over your face." She was more than happy to oblige.
CE wrote: "It takes my girlfriend forever to come, if she does at all. I read at tantra.com that 'men do not give women orgasms, women allow themselves to have orgasms. Unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms.'
Hogwash. That is total Mars/Venus passive bullshit. Besides, where's the fun in it if you're not Making each other have orgasms?
Don't make your woman surrender to the pleasures in her body, make her surrender to YOU.
Above all else, your woman must be responsive to you. Are you working on that? Are you rewarding good behavior and withdrawing upon bad behavior? Are you training her on new ways to have an orgasm? Are you continually expanding her envelop of sexuality? She must understand that her true fulfillment lies in her being
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL completely responsive to you. A woman is most excited and most fulfilled when she is completely surrendered to her strong man.
But for a woman to feel completely surrendered to her man to the point of completely giving over and responding to every command, she must have that special kind of respect for him that only becomes true when she sees in him a sense of personal power to the point that it creates in her a slight tingle of fear, but at the same time, she knows that she has earned the unique status of being benefited by it instead of being threatened by it. Do you understand?
Crank up that sense of personal power and sensuality to the point where your woman understands in you a part that is almost scary, but for her, it is there for her enhanced pleasure. That's where true respect comes in, and where responsiveness begins. Understand? Don't be the man that all women like but few respond to. Be the personally and sensually powerful man that the really sexual ones are drawn to and are super responsive to.
I know you like using the deep spot technique, but that is just a touching technique. You should be able to simply count to ten and your woman will have an orgasm. You should be able to say just two words to her and she will Come Now.
You read that chapter about that highly sexual woman I met in the coffee shop. It got off to a slow start the first night when I used the deep spot and the welcomed method. It was not until the next night, when I engaged her imagination and demonstrated to her the power I could affect over her, that things took off. It was when she understood that I could make her feel anything, and she could not help it, that she became responsive to me. Subsequent times together were marked by a continual stream of wild screaming orgasms. She then would instantly come on command and for as long as I insisted on it. And all without "hypnotizing" her.
CE continued: "I am still working on the 'come on command' technique. My current girlfriend really likes the idea, she loves being hypnotized, but this method has yet to work."
She is not following your commands, and you are not engaging her imagination. Instead, bring her imagination to life. Make it real. And at all times, she must follow your commands, or everything stops until she can agree to the terms.
You must be prepared to withdraw when she does not follow your commands. That instills a fear of loss in her. Another point towards that required level of respect. It may also instill a fear of loss in you, in that it may cause you to loose her. That's where the personally powerful part steps in. Have the respect enough for yourself to demand only the best for you. She can take it or leave it. If she leaves, probably a good thing. If she agrees to it, that is one more demonstration to her of the respect she has for you. Another demonstration to her of the power you have.
I think the reason why I responded so strongly to learning hypnosis was the fact that I was as much afraid of it as I was fascinated by it. Once I experienced it and learned how to do it and found how easy and fun it was, it had a very powerful affect
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL on me, and from that was born the realization of my own personal power.
That becomes true for a woman as well. When she sees for herself how powerfully she responds to her own imagination, which is driven by you, she begins to find in herself her own sense of personal power. That's when the flood gates open and anything becomes possible.
Alright, that is the high level stuff, the what you must BE. Now let's talk about the details of what you could say and do.
Remember, the idea is not so much that you make your woman come, but that you have a lot to say about when and how long your woman comes.
There are any number of different possibilities, but I will illustrate two here.
Train her to come ONLY when you say to. Bring Astro Glide and do the welcomed method of stimulating her clitoris. Tell her that you know a way to touch a woman that will make her feel incredible. But don't drive hard for the orgasm; instead tell her to relax and breath normally so that she will enjoy it more. She will comply with your commands, because it will feel so good that she won't want to come. If she does get too close, let off a little and insist that she relax. Now is the time that she is to surrender to you. Tell her "Now Baby, show me how good you can feel. But you cannot come. Show me how fucking good you can feel!" Make sure she is showing you how good she can feel. Coach her on more. Insist that she shows you in a very vocal and enthusiastic manner how good she can feel. As she does so, she begins to realize that she is surrendering to YOU, not her own feelings. She will be concentrated on surrendering to you and forget her self distractions. But don't let her come. Say "Don't come Baby, I want you to show me how good you can feel, but you cannot come until I say you can come." After you do that for a while, she will be begging you to let her come. Tease her for a while longer and then it is time for you to make her come. Drive hard and say "Now Baby, I want you to show me how good you can come. Show me how fucking hard you can come. Come Now! Show me how fucking hard you can come! Come Now!" Continue saying it as she comes. This will set a powerful anchor to your voice command. Insist that she keeps coming harder and harder. If she doesn't come, then step back and say "Listen, maybe we can do this another time when you are ready to show me how good you can feel in response to my touch. I have to go reply to some emails." And leave the room. If she's not going to be responsive to you, there's no point.
Another thing you can do is make her masturbate in front of you. Have her masturbate while you narrate a fantasy into her ear. Pick a fantasy you know she will respond to. Make the fantasy real. Bring it to life. Make sure her imagination is bringing the fantasy to life. If she comes, she is further convinced that she is responsive to you. If she does not, leave as described above.
If she does not have a sense of imagination, she ain't gonna be any fun. Sex will continually be a frustrating experience. And for her, she will grow bored of it, and she will leave to find another man "who can give her that big O" which she will not find, because she seeks power from outside of herself.
Which brings us back around to what tantra.com wrote. It is true that a woman must take some responsibility, but it is not to her own pleasure, it is to be responsive to her lover. The danger in the statement is that it releases you from responsibility. You are the one who engages her imagination and shows her the personal power within herself. That is, if there is any in there. If there is not, let her go. If there is, she will become aware of her own personal power and she will be forever grateful to you. It is then that the flood gates open to a whole new world of responsiveness where anything is possible.
SC wrote: "My wife tries WAY too hard when we have sex. I feel like I am walking on eggshells whenever we start fooling around and if everything isn't just right she gives up and gets all upset that it didn't work. It seems to be getting worse, unless she is drunk :-) For her to come, she believes everything needs to be just right. She will tell me EXACTLY to 'do this, do that, no don't do that, oh shit its ruined now because this wasn't just right.' This is the basic conversation. Not too enjoyable for me ;-)"
My girlfriend told me once about how a past relationship of hers ended. She said "He was very good looking, well built, and very concerned for my pleasure. However, with time he no longer excited me. I was feeling no mental stimulation. When we had sex, I would fantasize about other people. I told him exactly what to do and then I would concentrate on the fantasy. If he did it wrong, I would be distracted from my fantasy and not be able to come, and got angry at him. I was basically masturbating alone. He was my human vibrator. It got to the point where I preferred to just masturbate by myself. Eventually I did not want to have sex with him altogether so that there would be nobody there to screw things up."
Continuing to do the same thing is only going to make it worse.
Remember, it is the man you are outside of the bedroom that allows her to be all the woman she can be inside the bedroom. You must stimulate her mentally and emotionally. But in order for that to happen, you must command respect. Your wife has lost the respect she once had for you.
Or it could be that you have lost the respect you once had for your wife, and you are no longer continuing to invest in the relationship, and she has picked up on it. If that's the case, you have some serious introspection to do.
Unfortunately, you have allowed bad sex to be linked to you, and a lot of it. That is almost impossible to overcome.
If you truly want to invest in the relationship, you have no alternative but to do something drastic and do it right away. I know what you mean by walking on egg shells, it can paralyze you from taking action. But you need to gather up the self respect to overcome that and take the risk. It may be scary, but you know the alternative if you don't.
Self respect is the required ingredient before anyone can have respect for you. Get that self respect. Self respect above all else. (This is different from self above all
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL others.) You cannot help her until you can help yourself. You cannot be strong for her until you can be strong.
It is time to get back to basics. Stop being her human vibrator. Work on the responsiveness thing. Do not reward bad behavior. Reward only good behavior. Take the driver's seat. Train her to be responsive to your narration of fantasies. Her good sex with you is to be as a result of her being responsive to your mental stimulation. No sex until she responds to that.
Have you ever noticed how pessimistic worry warts rarely get what they desire, but optimistic pro-active ones usually do? Be honest with yourself about what it is you truly desire, and then be pro-active and keep your eye on the goal.
LB wrote: "I read that approximately 70% of women never once, during their entire lifetimes, reach orgasm from the stimulation of vaginal intercourse alone. Even among the other 30%, climaxing with each and every sexual act isn't a given."
Unfortunately, this is very true. But what most men don't know (and women) is that every physically healthy woman can be trained to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone.
First, stay away from the clit. As Major Mark has said "Most women become clitorally dependant from years of diligent practice."
Next, awaken her vagina. Use the deep spot, with a heavy application of dirty talk, to give her her first vaginal orgasm. On subsequent nights stimulate less of the deep spot and more of the wall of the vagina to bring her to orgasm, making her vagina even more responsive to stimulation. Next, use a commanding voice to train her to have multiple orgasms from vaginal stimulation. The next night get her close with your finger, then replace your finger with your cock, fire off the usual dirty talk anchors, and bang, she orgasms in intercourse. On subsequent nights, fuck her silly while firing off the same anchors, and she comes multiple times in intercourse. Then she's unstoppable. Every time results in many vaginal orgasms.
All of this can be done in much less time when hypnosis is also used.
Give a woman her first orgasm in intercourse and she will fondly remember you always.
Oh the contributions to the fulfillment of all women we must make. It seems a man's work is never done.
PJ wrote: "I am a man who shares your appreciation of women in every aspect. Lately I have been thinking about who I am and how I come across to the women that I interact with and I have came to the conclusion that the person I play when I talk to women is not always congruent with who I really am."
Women pick up on that immediately. Congruency is important in all aspects, but especially in being congruent with yourself.
"I think this is due to experimenting with some of the seduction methods discussed on the web."
We all do that when we first get into the seduction community. We read fantastic stories, so we try stuff out. It's a learning experience.
"I have a deep love and fascination for women and I believe you do also. I believe that you could possibly inform me on some of the things I could do in order to be the DONJUAN that is inside of me and engage in more fantasy-like experiences with women."
Mark has said repeatedly "It's not what you do, it's who you are. Work on yourself and getting laid will be the least of your problems." And I would say, nurture that Don Juan that is inside of you. Revel in it.
"I want to take women on a Journey to places they have never been."
Ah yes. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than seeing a woman experience pleasure she never imagined possible. Like Giacomo Casanova wrote "She was astonished to find herself receptive to so much pleasure, for I showed her many things she had considered fictions. I did things to her that she did not feel she could ask me to do, and I taught her that the slightest constraint spoils the greatest pleasures."
"But currently that isn't what I'm doing. It seems like now I just play a fake role and tease low self esteem women into bed in order to validate themselves through me."
Easy targets. And a lot of men do that, because they need self validation. Maybe they should first fix what's wrong before they involve real people.
"This is not what my soul desires to do. I have no problems getting attractive women to have sex with me. But I have not yet mastered the ability to create a magical realization inside of a woman before sex to the point where she's felt like she's met the RAKE she desires and I feel like I still am not fulfilling my each and every desire with high self esteem high sex drive women, as well as bisexual women and threesome experiences. I desire to be the man from their dreams and at times I truly believe that I am this man. It just seems hard to convey that without seeming like some type of sex freak."
If you think they think you are a sex freak, that is what they are going to think. Instead, BE the man you desire to be. Remember, your beliefs become who you ARE. Work on your beliefs. Identify, challenge, and eliminate self limiting beliefs. Develop empowering beliefs that work for you and that are congruent with factual data from reality. In the absence of hard cold factual data, make shit up that works FOR you.
"I also have been wondering if younger women respond as well to someone that's extremely passionate."
Generally no. It takes a woman with a number of specific qualities to truly appreciate a passionate man, and one of those qualities is that she knows herself and is happy with herself (self validated) and that requires maturity. Generally, young women are still looking for validation from others.
"I do know all women love a man that truly appreciates and loves women and this is the attitude I have been having lately."
Good. Major Mark has said "Women really love men who love women.
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL Women respect men who respect women. And women go absolutely crazed-weasel wild over a man who obviously knows how to please and satisfy a woman."
"What I'm interested in is how I should frame my interactions with women and how I can let them know that I am the man that they have been waiting on. For instance I usually open girls indirectly and bust on them until they validate themselves. I am tired of this. I want to have a more direct approach to where I can talk to a woman and lead them to trance quickly. I want to make women really feel as if I'm a fantasy figure. Over the past weeks I have eliminated a lot of things from my game that weren't me and I would like you to help me add things to my game that are me."
You know who you want to be. Develop that. You know what you want in a woman. Interview her for those qualities. As you identify the required qualities in her, you continue. As she identifies you to be a man she could respond to she begins to interview you by testing you. You respond to her tests as the man that you are, which brings her even closer to you.
"Like right now I am sitting next to this girl who I totally crave sexually. I would talk to her now but I see her often and have observed that she is high self esteem. I really wanna fuck her but I want her to fuck me and not some character I created. I am not scared of her at all, in fact I know that my level of desire alone would give her a magical sexual experience. I know that I can fake an image and get her interested. But I am no longer interested in that with any woman. I want to be the one who takes women out of the box of social programming and into a world they have only dreamed of."
Ah yes, sincerity. Women respond to sincerity. Like Mark said "Sincerity is a trance induction." But don't lust to fuck her, instead imagine the look on her face and the pleasure she experiences as she surrenders completely to your touch. Women pick up on the difference in the energies. Lust is predatory, while the other is what they dream of. Women are repelled by predatory energies. They are drawn to the other. When you are sitting next to a woman, think about how much you love to please women, in general, not one woman in particular. She will pick up on it and her energies will become curious. As you talk to her and as you and her begin to develop rapport, you may then begin to direct your energies specifically towards her, but in an emotional bonding way. This will crank her up even more. This is how I implement "sex transmutation," which is a term introduced by Napoleon Hill in the greatest book I have ever read, "Think and Grow Rich." Let her be the one to change the energies to sexual, which she will, and you will feel it the moment it happens.
"Finally, I want to make women surrender and open themselves up to the pleasure that I give."
And that is exactly what a sensual woman dreams of experiencing. You're on the right track. As for the details of the seduction (what to do) keep reading the material on the web. As for who you ARE, keep working on your beliefs, and BE the Don Juan that you believe you deserve to be.
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL "A lawyer never asks a question in court that he does not already know the answer to. A true lover never asks a question in bed that he does not already know the answer to be Yes." David Shade
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL Threesomes
My ex-girlfriend called me up for a booty call. I'm a sucker for the awesome sex I had with her, so I did go over to her house and I serviced her. About a week later she called for servicing again, and again I obliged her. With each booty call, we started talking more, talking about how things used to be, about the deep emotional bond we feel for each other, and about what had gone wrong. Next thing you know, we were talking and seeing each other just as before. She had cunningly calculated the entire rekindling all along. She is one smart woman. And I am a sucker for smart sexy daddy's girls.
However, I had met that fascinating corporate sales lady. (I shall refer to her as "D.") Being the honest man that I am, and always striving to never do anything hurtful, it was necessary for me to be honest with D. I called D and told her that I had gotten back with my ex-girlfriend. D was a bit sad and disappointed. I felt terrible about it. The next day I emailed her and apologized for the fact that I had not known any better way to handle the situation, and I said 1 would like to remain friends. She emailed me and told me that she would be interested in remaining friends.
I called her up, and we talked at great length. Then conversation got onto the topic of how things were going for my girlfriend and me. I told her "Very well" and then I dropped the bomb. I said "As you know, my girlfriend loves women. I think she would like you." She said "Is that so?" I said "Yes. In fact, she and I would be honored if you were to join us in a threesome." D was curious about the idea, and had many questions, but was understandably reserved about it. The next day she emailed me and said she would be interested.
We talked on the phone again. She was curious to know what my girlfriend was like. I made her comfortable with the idea of my girlfriend. I also reminded her how my girlfriend can instantly have an orgasm, and I also told her that she could make my girlfriend have an instant orgasm on command by simply saying the five magical words. She was very excited about doing that. I then engaged her imagination to make the threesome real for her and for that to cause her to have a powerful orgasm. It was very important that it be made real for her, and for it to cause her to have an orgasm. Then she and I agreed on dinner on Saturday night at 8:00 for the three of us to get together.
Then I had to introduce the idea to my girlfriend. I did not introduce her to the idea until I had D's complete agreement, because I wanted to make sure it was actually going to happen. I called my girlfriend and I said "I have a surprise for you Baby. This Saturday night, when you come to my place, I have a woman who is going to join us in a threesome." She said "You do?! That's great! Who is she?" I said "Well, Baby, remember when we were broke up? Well, I met a woman. We were dating for a short time, but when you and I got back together, I ended it. But she is a wonderful person, and she loves women, and I invited her to join us for a threesome, and she is very
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL excited about the idea." My girlfriend was very excited, but understandably had a lot of questions. I answered all her questions and I assured her that D and I were just friends now, and that D understands the rules that we are a couple and D is joining us simply for an exciting sexual experience. She was excited about the idea.
I also explained to her that she had a great deal that she could teach D about sexual confidence and about identifying good men. She was more than happy to help.
It was very important that the fantasy of a threesome again be made real for my girlfriend, and for the fantasy of a threesome with D to become real for her, and for it to cause her to have an orgasm, so I engaged her imagination to make the threesome real for her and for that to cause her to have a powerful orgasm. But it was especially important that I obtain verbal verification from her that it would be exciting for her to watch me fuck D. She had expressed in the past that it would be very exciting for her to watch me fuck another woman, as it would make me appear even more sexy and strong, but I wanted her verbal verification again, and especially about me fucking D. I made the threesome real for her in her imagination and while she was masturbating to my description of the fantasy, I said to her:
Me: And as you feel her lips sucking your clit into her mouth, it makes you want to come so fucking hard in her mouth.
Her: Oh God
Me: Fuck her lips hard with your hard clit Baby, and come in her mouth. I want you to come so fucking hard in her mouth. That will make her so excited. She wants you to fuck her mouth hard! Her: Oh God
Me: And as you make her so hot with your clit, I will rub her clit, and I will make her clit so fucking hard.
Her: Oh Yes
Me: And as she gets so hot as you fuck her mouth hard, I will make her so fucking hot by rubbing her clit. Let's make her come so fucking hard Baby.
Her: Oh Yes
Me: You fuck her face hard Baby. We're going to make her come so fucking hard.
Her: Oh God
Me: As you fuck her face, I'll fuck her pussy, and we'll make her come so fucking hard baby.
Her: Oh Yes
Me: Fuck her face hard Baby. I'll fuck her pussy hard Baby. Let's make her come so fucking hard!
Her: Oh God
And she came. The fantasy of a threesome, in which I would fuck D, became true in her imagination. It was real for her subconscious mind, thus it could be her reality Saturday night.
On that Saturday evening my girlfriend arrived and we sat on the couch and talked. She shared what she had been up to during our separation. She had been dating,
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL but she described how each of the men had made total blundering errors on the first date. It is unnecessary to go into it here, but I cannot believe how stupid some men can be.
Then we got ready and left for to the restaurant. She was looking especially sexy. At 8:00, D arrived, and she was also looking spectacular. I greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and then she and my girlfriend hugged. We sat at the bar, with me standing behind and between the two seated ladies, and became acquainted. After I believed that a sufficient level of rapport had been established, I said to my girlfriend "Doesn't D look beautiful tonight?" My girlfriend smiled at D and said "Yes, she does." I said to D "Do you find my girlfriend to be attractive?" D said "She is beautiful." Things were going well.
After a few more minutes of building sufficient rapport, I told the hostess that we were ready for our table. I wanted a small round table, not a booth. We were brought to our table where my girlfriend sat in the middle. Dinner went very well, with much interesting discussion. Some of the discussion was of a sexuality nature, but nothing really explicit enough yet. Rapport was going fairly well, but it was evident that more time needed to be spent and in a more intimate locality. I suggested to the ladies that we get in my car and go to the local night club.
At the night club, we took 3 seats at a quiet dark back area of the night club against the bar. We could look out at the dance floor and the crowded night club, but we also had some privacy and ability to talk. The two ladies were being affectionate with me, and comfortable with each other, but not really affectionate with each other. Bisexual women are by nature submissive. Often they flirt for a long time before one of them finally gets the guts to start something. My girlfriend is no exception. I know that my girlfriend is shy in the initial meeting with a woman, but once the agreement has been verbalized of common sexual intent, she becomes comfortable and sexually expressive and aggressive. I know that D is very comfortable with meeting new people and moving things along to the verbalization part, but then is much less aggressive sexually.
D went to use the restroom, so I used the opportunity to speak privately with my girlfriend I said "How are you doing?" She said "OK, I guess. I don't feel as if she is that excited about me." I assured her that D was. D returned and my girlfriend went to the restroom. I said to D "I need to ask you to do something for me, and I know that I can rely on you. She is initially shy with women, but she absolutely loves women. Once she knows that you are sexually interested in her, she will really open up and become very sexually excited." D said "I'll take care of it. When she returns, I want you to go to the restroom." When my girlfriend returned, I excused myself to go to the restroom. I took my time. When I returned, I found that the two ladies were holding each other's hands, hugging, and speaking into each other's ear. I knew I could count on D.
The three of us were becoming increasingly affectionate with each other, and things were going very well. Here I was with two beautiful sexy women who were all
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL over me and all over each other. Life is good. However, it was beginning to attract some attention.
There are two critical transition points in any evening. One is moving from the night club to the home, and the other is moving from the living room to the bedroom. It was time to traverse the first.
I said to the ladies "Ladies, we are attracting a great deal of attention. In order for us to continue this, we need to do so in a more private setting. Let's go to my place now." They both agreed and the three of us held hands as we walked out.
When we got home, we continued our conversation, but it was time to make the second transition. This time I knew I could count on my girlfriend to move things along sexually. I said to D "Come here please and give me a big hug." She did, and we hugged. Then I kissed her and she kissed me back passionately. Then I said to her "My girlfriend would find it very exciting if you were to kiss her." She said "Well, I will ask her." She faced my girlfriend and said "Would you like me to kiss you?" My girlfriend said "Yes" and then they hugged and kissed passionately. Then my girlfriend slowly backed the two of them into the bedroom. I knew I could count on my girlfriend.
I lightly touched their backs as they kissed and touched and slowly undressed each other. And I mean slowly. Things were moving along very slowly, but at least they were moving along. One very important thing to have when dealing with two women is patience. It is critically important to be patient, while at the same time remaining calmly in control.
D apologized that she was on her period and wearing a tampon. I assured her that everything is normal and natural. That, however, would put a dampener on any lesbian carpet munching.
They finally were both naked and they fell to the bed and demanded that I undress. I did and I lied next to them as they continued caressing. Then D starting rubbing my girlfriend's clit, and my girlfriend said "Oh, you touch me just like I touch myself. I love that!" Then D gave my girlfriend her 'instant orgasm on command' command, and my girlfriend had an orgasm. Then she rubbed D's clit and told her to have an orgasm, and she did. They had a wild time rubbing each other's clit while they gave each other their respective 'instant orgasm on command' commands. They were loving doing that, and made each other come at least 4 times. I have to admit, it was wild watching the fruits of my creations. But it is interesting that when I do it, I use a commanding voice, but when women do it, it is more of a sensual whisper into the ear. It was marvelous.
After they had sufficiently played with each other, they said "David needs attention now." I sat between my girlfriend's legs and I said to D "She loves it when I suck her clit. Watch how hard this makes her come" and I started going down on my girlfriend. I sucked her clit while humming, and as usual, it sent her ballistic. After she came, I reached into the night stand and obtained a condom. Then I did the nasty with my girlfriend, and I said to D "Let's make her come really hard, tell her to come." D gave my girlfriend the command, and she came.
Then I told my girlfriend to get the Astroglide as I went into the bathroom to discard the condom and wash off. When I returned, my girlfriend handed the Astroglide to me, and I said "D has a very sensitive ass. Watch how hard her ass makes her come." I lubed up D's ass, and then I used my finger to give her a powerful orgasm. Then I said to my girlfriend "Prepare my cock for fucking her in the ass." My girlfriend applied a condom to me and lubed me up. Then I got behind D and did the dirty deed while I said to my girlfriend "Baby, her butt is so tight, and it feels so good" and I said to D "You love it when I fuck you hard up the ass. Show me how fucking hard that makes you come!" And she did, very powerfully.
Then I excused myself again to go to the bathroom to discard the condom and wash up. When I returned, I said to my girlfriend "Prepare my cock for fucking you in the ass." She got another condom and applied it to me and then lubed me up. I got behind her and did the nasty while I said to D "She loves it when I fuck her hard up the ass like the horny little slut that she is." Then I held my girlfriend's hair and said to D "She loves taking my cock hard up her ass and getting fucked like the slut that she is." D started rubbing my girlfriend's clit, and we made her come very hard.
Again I excused myself to go to the bathroom to discard another condom and wash up again. When I returned, D said "David, you have trouble letting go of control. Come here." She was laying on her back and she positioned me over her face and she started doing this thing with her lips and her tongue that is simply amazing. My girlfriend was fascinated by this. Of course, it did cause me to totally lose control, and D swallowed what must have been a bucket load. That act made my girlfriend so hot that she almost came just by watching.
We were all completely exhausted. I laid down between the two ladies and we fell asleep.
I have to admit, there is something magical about fucking a woman up the ass doggy style while your girlfriend cheers you on.
In managing a threesome, there are a number of very important attributes to manifest.
Work on building the rapport that the two women feel for each other. Don't be overly concerned about them liking you, instead be concerned that everything moves smoothly between them.
Don't try to seduce the women, instead see to it that they are seducing each other.
Bisexual women are usually by nature submissive. You may have to choreograph things a bit to get things started. Leverage each woman's specific skills and strengths.
Patience is very important when dealing with two women. Do not make the critical error of trying to rush things. Instead, maintain calmly in control while helping things to move along at a pace that is comfortable for the women.
Above all, the threesome is not about you, it is about the two women totally enjoying themselves. You'll get yours while you see to it that the women get theirs.
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL
See to it that the two women fuck each other first, before you become actively engaged in the activities.
Always wear a condom. Between each fuck, go to the bathroom to discard the condom and wash off. Don't give the women any reason to feel concerned about anything.
Always fuck your woman first, then the other woman. It must always be clear that your woman is your main woman.
When you are fucking one woman, always include the other woman, either by talking to her, or having her help you make the one woman come.
You are the ' Three Ring Circus' Master.
"All women are bisexual, some are just stuck" Rick H.
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL Denial
There is a place of transition, right between being really close, and actually coming, when a woman feels completely open and vulnerable. Normally it is so brief as to not be noticed, but it becomes apparent when you bring her up very... very... slowly...
On a number of occasions I have extended that place of transition for my girlfriend by bringing her up very slowly using the welcomed method with slow light stimulation. That place of transition tends to last a bit longer, like maybe a couple of seconds. But I was able to extend it indefinitely by specifically telling her that when she gets very close, she will stay there for as long as I say. I brought her up very slowly while reminding her that she cannot come. After she had been close for a very long time, I reminded her to relax and that she cannot come. She began to slip into that place of transition. As she began to feel completely open and vulnerable, I said to her "Feel completely vulnerable. Whenever I say feel completely vulnerable, you will immediately return to this place of feeling completely vulnerable." I held her there for many minutes. She was truly feeling completely open and vulnerable. She said "David, I would do anything for you." I held her there for as long as I desired, and then I said "Now, Darling, give me your orgasm." She slipped over the edge and had a massive orgasm.
Now, at any time, I can immediately return her to that place, by simply saying to her "Feel completely vulnerable."
My girlfriend was going to attend a meeting for her work in my town, so it was another opportunity for us to be together on a weeknight at my place the night before. We were enjoying conversation on the couch, when I stood up and said "Go into the bedroom, undress, and lay on the bed." She did so. After giving her sufficient time, and a little more, I went into the bedroom and enjoyed the view of her on my bed. She said "What is it?" I said "I adore looking at you. You look so beautiful to me." She smiled. I went to my wardrobe and I obtained two silk ties and I tied her wrists to the bed posts. I stood back and looked at her and said "You look helpless." She shyly smiled and said "Yes." I said "In fact, you appear to be completely vulnerable." She looked longingly at me and softly said "Yes." I removed my belt and lightly dangled it above her body. Then I let the tip of the leather lightly touch her skin. She shivered.
I set the belt down on the bed and I sat down next to her. I looked into her eyes and said "Darling, as you remember, whenever I kiss you, your clit becomes very hard and excited, isn't that right?" She smiled and said "Yes." I said "In fact, it is also true, that when I kiss you, your nipples become very hard and excited, just like this" and I began to suck her nipple. She immediately began to moan. I sucked her nipple until she was very close, and then I stopped. I stood up and said "That is how good your nipple feels when I kiss you." She slightly turned towards me and softly said "Yes."
I walked around to the other side of the bed and placed my face close to hers and said "Darling, whenever I kiss you, your nipples instantly become extremely hard
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL and excited, just like this" and I sucked her other nipple. I nibbled and tugged and sucked her nipple until she became very close, and then I stopped. She breathlessly said "Oh God."
I walked to the foot of the bed and said "I am now going to remind you how hard and excited your clit gets when I kiss you. Spread your legs." She did so, and then I crawled onto the bed and began to very slowly and lightly lick her clit. I brought her up very slowly until she was very close, and then I stopped. She was gasping for air, and for the orgasm I was not letting her have. But sure enough, she was feeling completely open and vulnerable.
I obtained the Astroglide and then sat next to her. I lubed up my fingers and began doing the Welcomed method on her very slowly and very softly. She soon became very close again, but I slowed and lightened up even more to hold her orgasm away. Then I stopped and said "This is how good your clit feels every time I kiss you." She just gritted her teeth. I waited a few moments and then began touching her again, and again making it even slower and softer as she got closer. I said "This is how excited your clit gets every time I kiss you." With feather light touches I kept her right on the edge. I said "Every time I kiss you your clit feels this fucking good." Then I stopped.
I stood up and wiped my hands off on a small towel. She said "David, I cannot put my legs together. My clit is so hard that I can't put my legs together." I simply said "I know. Turn to the side." She put her legs together and she turned as much of her body to the side as she could, as her arms were still held wide apart.
I picked up the belt and said "Right now, you are feeling very naughty. In fact, you are being a very bad girl. You need to be disciplined." She began to breathe quickly. I held the buckle of my belt with one hand, the middle of the belt with the other, and then I slapped the free end of the belt against her ass. She flinched. I slapped her again and it made a loud snap. She gasped. I repeatedly slapped her ass, one side and then the other, being careful not to hurt her or make any marks, while saying "You have been a very bad girl, and Daddy is disciplining you." She was going nuts. Just as she got very close, I stopped. She quivered and said "Oh God David."
I stood back and looked upon her for a while as she caught her breath. When she then looked up at me, I said "Roll back onto your back and open your legs." She did, and I sat next to her and said "I am now going to remind you how good your pussy feels when I kiss you" and I slowly slid my finger into her vagina. She closed her eyes and rolled her head back. I softly pressed against her deep spot, but I had to be careful not to make her come, as she was already so close. I said "This is how good your pussy is going to feel whenever I kiss you." She tightly closed her eyes and brought her head forward, trying hard for her orgasm, which I was not going to let her have. I held my finger still, and she gave up trying, knowing that I was not going to let her have it, and she took the opportunity to gather some air. I had to very carefully remove my finger as that stimulation alone could have been enough to make her come. She was that close.
I let my finger slide down to her anus and I said "In fact, whenever I kiss you, you will find that your ass becomes very excited." I gently slid my finger in while saying "Every time I kiss you, your ass will become extremely excited." Once in, I slowly slid my finger in and out, slower, and then just keeping it still. She wanted to come so badly that she began to ride my finger. I said "This is how excited your ass will become every time I kiss you, isn't that right?" She said "YES!" I said "In fact, your ass will become so excited that it will want to ride my cock, isn't that right?" She said "Oh God Yes." Just as she got very close, I slowly withdrew. She curled up and shivered and said "Oh God David."
I then undressed as I said to her "You do recall how very excited your lips feel when you feel my pleasure against your lips, don't you?" She said "Yes." I said "I am now going to remind you how excited your lips become every time you kiss me." I positioned myself above her face and said "Every time I kiss you, your lips are going to feel as excited as when you SUCK MY COCK!" She started sucking as if she wanted to come so badly. I said "Yes, this is how fucking good your lips feel every time I kiss you." Just as she got really close, I withdrew.
I stood up next to the bed and looked down at her. I wanted to take some time before the grand finale so she could slip a bit farther away from her elusive orgasm. I said to her "Every time you kiss me, you will crave me." She longingly said "Oh Yes." I said "You feel completely vulnerable to me right now, don't you?" "Yes." "You love it when you surrender yourself completely to me, don't you?" "Yes." "You do understand that I could make you come instantly by simply saying five words to you, don't you?" "Yes." "You do understand that I am in complete control of your entire body." "Yes." "You do understand that I am in complete control of every pleasure that you feel, isn't that right?" "Yes."
The suggestions were more than sufficiently planted, and it was time to reward her good behavior. I got on the bed and placed my knees between hers and my hands on either side of her chest and said "In fact, whenever you kiss me, you will crave to feel my cock in your pussy. I know how much your pussy aches to feel me enter you." She gasped "Oh David." I let just the tip of my cock slide in, and I held still. I said "This is how badly your pussy aches for my cock." I slowly slid the tip in and out, just titillating her pussy. She was loosing her mind. I said "Now Baby, I want you to show me how excited you get when you kiss me. Show me how excited that makes you." "Yes David." "Right now you feel completely vulnerable to me, don't you?" "Yes David." "Right now you would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" "Oh God Yes David." As I continued to titillate her pussy with the tip of my cock, I said "What I want you to do is, I want you to show me how good you can come for me Baby." She was trying very hard with the limited stimulation I was giving her. I said "Give me your orgasm Baby." She became very stiff and she went over the edge and began her orgasm. When she was coming, I began pumping her hard and deep and fast. She started coming so hard that she started an ear piercing scream. Fearing that the neighbors would file another noise complaint against me with the apartment complex
DAVID SHADE'S MANUAL management, I firmly placed my hand over her open mouth while being careful to leave her no
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