You: Have you ever thought about the difference about between attraction and being in love?
Her: What do you mean?
You: Well, actually I think they take place in different settings. I mean attraction is what you experience when you're in the presence of that person, (point to yourself) and you're looking at them, and you maybe you think to yourself ... (pause) mmmm. And maybe you start to have certain ... (pause) thoughts, images and you know what that feels like, right?
You: But falling in love, well I think you do that when you're not even in that person's presence. I mean, can you remember a time when you just totally fell for someone?
You: And as you sit there looking at me, thinking about what I'm saying, you can remember what it felt like, right?
You: Yeah, but here's how it happened. You spent some time with that person (gesture to yourself) and then you went home, and you PICTURE THAT PERSON IN YOUR MIND
(as you do this, draw a frame around your own face! Ha! This sticks you in there!) right?
You: And then, maybe you IMAGINE YOURSELF in all sorts of situations with this person (point to yourself again) having lots of fun, and enjoying the kind of feelings and things you'd like to enjoy with them? Can you REMEMBER HOW THAT FEELS?
You: And then maybe you start to LIST ALL THE QUALITIES
about him you really like: He's so smart, he's so funny, he's so fun to be with, whatever they were, whatever the things are you really WANT AND ENJOY THAT in someone (point to yourself again), right?
You: And then you get that feeling, right in the pit of your stomach, right in your solar plexus, that just starts to spread out and let you know you really, REALLY LOVE THIS PERSON? (point to self again) I mean, can you feel that as I describe it to you?
You: And then, here's the kicker ... you START SAYING HIS
NAME OUT LOUD. You start BRINGING IT UP IN
CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR FRIENDS, and maybe even you DANCE AROUND THE HOUSE, SINGING IT if you're a real goof? Right?
You: See, I think everything, including falling in love is a process. And when you DO THAT PROCESS WITH SOMEONE,
(point to yourself) and really LET IT HAPPEN, that's when the magic takes over, the magic we're really all looking for. Of course sometimes that can take months, but the real magic is when it happens INSTANTLY and you know it right away. That's an incredible feeling, isn't it?
Now, this pattern is an incredible mind-fuck! What you're doing is describing the process, obtaining her agreement by asking, "Right?", making sure she's feeling what it's like, by asking, "Can you remember how that felt?" or "You remember that feeling, don't you?",. and then linking it to you by your gestures, putting the picture frame around your face (damn that's clever ... they NEVER catch that one!), and also just by virtue of her looking at you as she re-experiences these feelings. Finally, you're giving her a command at the end of the pattern to experience it instantly with you!
The other lovely thing about this pattern is, not only will she feel all those great feelings with you right away, but it programs her to think about you that way later on. So even though we're not technically using time distortion, this pattern does have a delayed reaction effect as well as it's immediate one.
We've all had those situations where girls just want to be, gulp. "friends". The next four patterns I'll show you are designed to change that situation, and fast. The first two work by getting her very sexually aroused; the last two work by getting her to think about you in very loving ways. All of them work so well, it's scary, and none of them are detectable, so if one type (sexual) doesn't work, switch to another.
Sexual Arousal Friends Into Lovers. #1
When to use pattern: These pattern can be used on a woman who has been a long time friend but shown no sexual interest, or on a woman with whom you had a few dates way back when but never got anywhere. It works best in a casual setting, like over coffee.
Steps/tools used in pattern:
1. Use "have you ever" weasel phrase to set up state
2. Use "quotes" to accelerate state.
3. Use "conversational anchoring" to capture state.
4. As optional step, use describing another person's experience to really accelerate the state!!
You: Have ever you hung out with someone who you weren't really attracted to but then, for whatever mysterious reason, you just suddenly found that you started to THINK THINGS DIFFERENTLY and SEE THEM IN A WHOLE NEW
WAY? (point to yourself)
I mean, I think sometimes people really don't know what they want, at least consciously ... but then it's like YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND DIVES DOWN (gesture with both hands to indicate diving down) into your unconscious, and just (gesture with both to indicate coming back up) BRINGS BACK UP ALL THOSE DESIRES AND IMAGES AND FEELINGS INTO YOUR MIND.
I mean like my neighbor looks at me one day, and right out of the blue she takes me by the hands (take her by the hands) and says, "Can you IMAGINE IF WE WERE MAKING OUT, And I was kissing exactly the way you like to be kissed, touching you exactly the way you liked to be touched, and you were starting to FEEL INCREDIBLY TURNED ON, so turned on you had to have me.?"
Can you believe she said that? Now, see, if I had wanted to play back with her? I woulda said something like, "Oh yeah? Well you know that feeling you get just before you have an orgasm. When the pleasure is just building and pulsing and throbbing all through your body? If you could IMAGINE THAT FEELING, could you FEEL THAT RIGHT NOW? (squeeze her hands as you say this ... you've now set up an incredibly powerful stacked up anchor!)
Optional: If you wish to further accelerate the state, talk about another person's experience, using the spiel from Chapter 9:
Like first, as she looks at the guy, and starts to REALLY PAY ATTENTION, she just becomes aware of certain things ... like the rhythm of her breathing, and the beating of her heart, and the out line of his face ... so as she becomes aware of all these things, one particular feature of his face just starts to rivet her attention, so she becomes totally absorbed in the connection taking place ... and as that's all happening, it's like the warmth of his voice, the deep rich warmth of it, just starts to penetrate her consciousness, and spread all through her body, and as her heart beats faster and her breathing increases, that warmth just heats up into a fire, spreading through her chest and down through her belly, as the pleasure of it just starts to pound and pulsate all through her, down to where she really longs to have it go, until that desire for him just BECOMES UTTERLY OVERWHELMING, and she just SURRENDERS to it completely.
Sexual Arousal Friends Into Lovers Variation #2
Ok. Here's another option to try. It leads into the same state, but starts from a different place. And, if it seems to outrageous to you, remember how you can always put any of these patterns into quotes, and talk about how your friend was telling you this! (Notice the weasel phrase that starts it off!)
IF YOU WERE TO wake up one morning, and suddenly realize that you were deeply and profoundly in love with someone, how do you think your body would feel different, when you were near them?
How do you think you'd enjoy the warmth of their voice as they talk to you, the softness of their touch against your cheek, the look in their eyes as you looked at them, as that longing in you builds, the longing to be touched, exactly the way you like to be touched, kissed exactly the way you like to be kissed, until that passion built so strong inside you, and you were getting so turned on, that you were begging to be filled with him, in that way a woman can long to be filled?
(Note: If you see the need, throw in the spiel from example #1)
Falling In Love Pattern/Friends Into Lovers #1:
DO YOU THINK I'M CHARACTER?
This next patterns is what I would have to call, for lack of a better term, a blinder pattern. What you're doing is getting her to associate massively pleasurable feelings to you like admiration and empathy, linking those to being in love, and then totally blinding her to any faults of character or appearance you might have. (Notice that this is what happens when a person really falls for someone anyway; they say love is blind, and we're just inducing that blindness by describing it! Remember?
There's no difference between describing skillfully and directing?) This is a slam-doozy of a pattern and I'm very proud of myself. Make sure you use it on a girl who's known you for a few months at least.
You: Do you think I'm a character? you know, I think I'm a character too, but I don't think I'm a mean character, I think I'm a character with heart. A lot of people who are characters or who think of themselves as characters just do it as an excuse to be rude or mean.
But I'll tell you something, even though I've been through a lot of humiliation in my life, it's never made me mean. and I think humiliation can make people mean. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can be mean if I have to protect myself, but even when I was a small child, I always had that part in me that would think, what can I do to make this person treat me better, and if I can't do that, what can I do in myself so it doesn't hurt so bad.
And the thing is, I think that's something a person can REALLY LOVE THAT ABOUT ME, but sometimes it takes a long time for a woman to SEE THAT IN ME, and REALLY CONNECT TO IT cause I know I don't have a lot of the things that other guys do. I don't have a great body and I'm not really handsome, but when they do SEE IT, and REALLY CONNECT TO IT, then all these other things I don't have just fade into insignificance, as they just CONNECT IN TO THIS. I just wish it didn't take so long, that a special girl could SEE IT RIGHT AWAY.
Falling in Love/Friends Into Lovers #2:
This pattern is based on the old "negative take away" so frequently used by car salesman. What happens is, as the contract is about to be signed, the salesman will look at the customer, take the contract in his two hands, and say something like, "You know, maybe this isn't the car. For you. Let's just forget this deal." And then he starts to tear the corner of the contract.
Of course, this triggers the opposite response in the customer, who then does his best to convince the salesman that, yes, he, the customer, really does want to buy the car!!!
Thus, by taking over the customer's resistance, and playing it out first, the salesman gets the customer to take on the salesman's' role! Her!
This pattern, therefore, basically works by telling the girl that you MISTAKENLY thought you were in love with her, but now realize it was a silly idea. You can use it as a booster to the "Do You Think I'm A Character Pattern!". Just do the "Character" pattern first, and this one an hour or so later! Here goes:
You: Can I make a confession? There was a time when I
thought I was in love with you. I mean, I realize now, looking back on it, that I wasn't. It was just at that time I could IMAGINE US HAVING SO MUCH FUN, IN SO MANY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, and just GROWING CLOSER IN OUR MUTUAL RESPECT AND SUPPORTING AND HELPING EACH OTHER DOWN THROUGH THE YEARS. I guess I was stupid to ever
THINK THAT THINGS COULD BE LIKE THAT.
THE BOYFRIEND DESTROYER, PART II
When to use this pattern: This pattern is for use when you ask a woman out and she hits you with that famous line, "I have a boyfriend". It's purpose is to get her to meet you for coffee anyway, at which time you can play with her mind using any of the other patterns we'll give you. It's also another example of one of my favorite types of patterns: time distortion!!!
1. Trance phrases/time distortion to get past her resistance.
2. Trance phrases to get her imagining already having been with you and really enjoyed it.
3. Get her to repeat that train of thought.
4. Pitch for coffee date.
You: Well, look, I really enjoyed this, and I'd like to talk to you again sometime? Can I call you?
You: You have a boyfriend? Well, I have to admit I'm disappointed, I have to respect that you're in a relationship. But let me ask you a question. How surprised would you be to FIND YOURSELF ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING A LITTLE TIME WITH ME? I mean maybe to the point where you could IMAGINE US OVER COFFEE, LAUGHING AND HAVING THE BEST TIME, and you starting to FEEL REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH IT? As you THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT, doesn't seem natural to meet like Monday or Tuesday for coffee?
The Boyfriend Destroyer: Part II
Note: Originally, I taught this pattern to be used if she brought up the boyfriend objection when you first asked her out.
With all the other patterns I've shown you, I'd only use it now if she brought up the boyfriend as part of an objection to getting physical or after you'd been screwing for a few weeks.
Her: I'm sorry ... I can't keep seeing you. I should have told you before, but I have a boyfriend.
(or, as you are making out like crazy)
Her: We really shouldn't be doing this. I have a boyfriend
You: But I'll tell you what really fascinates me. It's like, what's this guy's name you're going out with?
You: Right, so you're going out with this guy, Bill (Point to your right palm) OK. And you think he's real cool, and you're enjoying it and all that ... and then let's say for whatever reason you break up. You ever BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE (point to palm) and you go through that period of mulling it over, and maybe you NOTICE THE PATTERNS IN HIM THAT RUINED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP ... or maybe you start to LOOK AT HIM IN A WAY THAT REALLY MAKES HIM A LOT LESS ATTRACTIVE IN YOUR MIND? However you would JUST DO THAT! I mean it's so weird how the mind does all this stuff, but what I'm curious about is, what would it be like for a person if that entire process that usually takes months, what would it be like if that entire process were to TAKE PLACE INSTANTANEOUSLY (snap your fingers in her face) in someone's mind? It'd be like (wave your hand in her face) YOU COULDN'T SEE HIS PICTURE ANY MORE IN YOUR MIND. Every time you tried it'd be like something was just wiping it right out. And that's how you'd know that you'd already started to FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM, TO MAKE HIM LESS IMPORTANT.
Or you know, like, is there someone you used to date, but now there way out of your mind ... you haven't even thought about them in a long time? Yeah? Well notice as you take your finger and point, where do you see there picture?
Right over there? Isn't that interesting? So if you were to, FORGET ABOUT THIS GUY (hold up your palm, push it to where she pointed), it'd be like he gets stuck in the same place. And of course you might think to yourself, "but I want to put him back".
You might think you might think that ... until you REALLY NOTICE that from over there, from this perspective, you really can SEE ALL THE THINGS in him and about him you don't like ... something that over time, would really cause you to dump him.
And when that happens it's a little sad, but it's also a nice thing, because it allows you to CREATE AN OPENING FOR SOMEONE NEW. (point to yourself) I know that's how it can GO DOWN WITH ME (point to your dickee!)
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To do this successfully you need to build a clear path of action by using tools if necessary. These tools would be facts, evidence and stories which you know they can relate to. Plus you always want to have their best interests at heart, in other words, you know what is good for them