Guide to Better Smalltalk
I read a pretty funny post by Carly on her blog Pornblography (BTW, she's auctioning off a lot of porn memorabelia for all you freaks out there). Anyway, she transcribed a conversation she had with a guy about banging a porno star that I thought was pretty funny, if not a little revealing. CONVERSATIONS IN PORNOLAND Posted by Thundercat on 02 17 2004 Permalink Comments (1) TrackBack
In the psychic context, we looked at seven Principal Themes around which most readings are built. The psychic aims to discover which themes are important to the client, and focuses on them. This is also a good strategy in a romantic context. Fred may have all kinds of interesting things to say about the latest TV shows and movies, but if Ginger just isn't into 'Popular Culture' then she'll soon get bored. He may be a veritable goldmine of sporting facts and figures, but if Ginger just couldn't care less, he's wasting his time and hers. It's a good idea for Fred to quickly zone in on those subjects dear to Ginger's heart, and to allow them to govern the conversation.
We all talk to other people, unless there's a physical reason we can't, and even then we find ways to communicate. But the basics of being a good conversationalist are important when being able to chat people up. For instance, knowing how to keep a conversation going. This requires switching topics from time to time once a conversation has run its course. After all, there's only so long you can talk about baseball until it gets boring, right So have a wealth of things to talk about and throw them out to see what the other person responds to.
TAPE 2A THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK Discover the secrets of making charismatic conversation with new acquaintances, and why the first words out of your mouth are crucial. Includes a 4_point Small Talk Checklist to make sure you are on target with your opening words. Then learn the Secret of Small Talk to keep all your small talk appropriate and engrossing. Some important points on small talk to remember The secret of small talk is It should be_ The most important factor to consider in making is small talk is the s______of what you are saying. Like in music, in small talk, the r_____the m_____and the f______are more important than your words. Whenever you hear that you have something in common with your conversational partner, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more i________he or she will be. THE SMALL TALK CHECKLIST Your very first words should be If you say anything unpleasant or disagree too early in your conversation with a new acquaintance, that is 100 of their impression of your...
Never say just thank you at the end of a conversation. Always say TAPE 5B PUT PIZAZZ IN YOUR CONVERSATION WITH PRO'S TECHNIQUES Discern how you sound to your listeners and how to regulate the speed and tone of your voice. Discover image consultants' techniques to put passion in your conversation, and professional speakers' techniques such as using dramatic silences, collecting rich phrases and humor to entertain your listeners and much more. Finally, learn actors' techniques to be completely relaxed when giving presentations to groups of people. Record one of your phone conversations and listen to it afterward. Now, pretend you are a radio drama producer. What role would you cast your voice in Now practice working those words into your everyday conversations. TAPE 7B HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL AND WIN Explores 7 subliminal rapport-establishing techniques. Learn how to emulate and capitalize on your conversational partners' background and experiences, clone their perceptions,...
The audio portions of the Wonder Readings System are more casual and relaxed than what Kenton and Rex have done previously in their other works. Instead of a more cut and dried studio approach, these tapes are often more fluid and conversational. The segments Rex and Kenton recorded together are along the lines of a fireside chat . These conversations are not unlike those meetings in which the two gather to explain their various ideas and applications to one another. These segments include examples of readings they might give to various clients. Given that these discussions are about readings, the more conversational approach to the audio tapes was deemed best. The sacrifice in occasional sound quality is more than made up for in actual content. The audio tapes more accurately reflect the way you might receive this information in live trainings and workshops. In the educational process, the combination of hearing casual conversation and seeing explicit details in text form, allows the...
Thanks Scott, for the fun you gave me during our much too rare conversations. And, I'm sure I speak for all who have been lucky enough to witness your performances when I say, Thanks for all the great magic As we say in Italy, Continua in questo modo che vai forte And I think that everyone will agree with this
About them that you like, She's so , she's so , she's really . Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get that warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you're really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it Or you possibly go about bring up her name in every conversation.
First find the woman he is attracted to (acquire his target). After he meets her (initiating the chat)he must break the ice (bitch shield disarming) and engage her in conversation. Having done so successfully, he must then convey his personality in such a way as to attract her. Finally he must be aware of her attraction to him and correctly choose to either eject himself from the situation in a pleasant manner or more favorably close her by getting her to agree to see you again. From this simple reasoning, the FMAC System (Find, Meet, Attract, Close) was designed.
People have taken this non-supplicative thing way, way too far Giving a girl your name is NOT supplicating unless you just walk up and go Gosh, you sure is purty My name's Jim-Bob. What's yours If you've had a conversation, if she's smiling at you, laughing, etc. introducing yourself should be no big deal. It might even keep the conversation going if you stall, or even further the sarge if you've done enough work.
You can even sneak impressions into your daily conversations. You might say something such as I get where you may be struggling with something, and I'm more than willing to listen or It seems like there's a decision you are considering, and you're not sure which way to go What's up . You get the idea. You don't need to make it sound like some sort of psychic impression. Instead deliver these thoughts to a person when they come up, and you may be helpful to that person. Perhaps you speak your impressions because you care about that person. You can say I get , I gamer , It seems , Is there something happening with , I sense that , and so on. This allows for wonderful opportunities to practice readings , without officially doing a reading. Often times you will be opening up a deeper level of rapport between yourself and those people for which you most care. Avoid comments that begin with You for the most part, and such opinions will likely be avoided. The problem with starting with the...
Whatever you are doing, take the opportunity to weave into the conversation what you do. You just never know who might need your services in the future. Don't be shy about talking about your magic. Remember what we said in an earlier module about people's reactions Their ears will prick up and will be fascinated. Most times, it will be you who will have to stop the conversation Something else that will help you is if you are good, dare we say, really good at what you do. This promotes conversation by itself. Did you see what that magician did tonight I couldn't believe it, I was stunned. You know, I'm definitely going to ask him to perform at my retirement party next June.
ne of the major foul-ups guys make with women is that their conversations often tend to be unfocused and pointless. When we get into the nuts and bolts of how to negotiate your seductive conversations with women, you'll see that you'll need to be careful to manage both the content and the intent of your words if you have any desire to eventually direct the relationship along towards the bedroom. Things have to occur in a certain order. If you try to skip over an important step, the seduction will explode in your face like one of those trick cigars in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You must read and react to her cues to escalate the nature of your relationship at the proper time, or you're dead meat. Words are everything in the arena of seduction. You must use words as power tools to rachet a man-woman relationship along to its next logical level gradually building a womans' intrigue in yourself and leading her along towards the idea of becoming your lover. This is what the concept of...
If one can believe the spoken and printed word, the late Theo. Annemann was the richest man in magic. The noun is used as it applies to friendships, not material wealth. Wherever magicians congregate, at conventions, society meetings or in the back rooms of the magic shops, the conversation bears testimony to Annemann's talent. Magic magazines periodically publish special Annemann sections, Annemann anecdotes and reprints and variations of Annemann effects. Weird Wire, Jr., is nothing more than the latter, a variation of an effect entitled Annemann's Weird Wire which appeared in Jinx No. 89 some eight years back.
Let's put it another way - if you have a conversation with someone who just talks about themselves, their accomplishments and so on, you would get bored pretty quickly unless they were someone who you really admired. However, if someone takes an interest in YOU, asking about your life, what you desire, and if there is anything they can do for you, you will naturally find yourself drawn to that person.
In order for her to feel understood, you need to listen to what she says, rephrase it and feed it back to her (it helps if you agree with whatever statement she made ). Listen to what she says, remember it and you can make her feel connected to you and understood by you even weeks after your conversation by just simply repeating what she told to you during your conversation ) So make sure a lot of your communication to her is a subtle echo of what she feeds you. Now this strategy is already quite effective on its own but combine it with using trance-words and she's gonna
Usage Rapport shows in a reduced angular distance b direct body alignment c mutual eye contact and d palmup cues and in
We can observe how in human beings conversation is practiced as a bond-forming ritual. In such conversations hardly any factual information is passed on, as they consist largely of extremely banal, constantly repeated statements concerning such matters as the weather (Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1971 151). 2. Salesmen may court prospects over lunch, using the full range of seductive units to solicit a warm social bond which may be exploited economically. . . (Givens 1978A 358). 3. More smiling, facial pleasantness, head nods, frequent and open gestures, and eyebrow raises have the same effects as more gaze They accompany a desire for intimacy. . . (Burgoon et al. 1989 322).
Before describing this concept, let us point out that it may be used on stage, in readings, at parties, or just meeting new people who you might like to have as spectators. It's a great conversation starter, and let's people know right away that you are different . So are you ready
The magician, say after a card game, brings the conversation round to card sharpers and their skill in controlling certain cards. After making sure the borrowed pack is complete, he extracts the 4 aces to demonstrate his remarks. The Aces are shuffled into the -pack and four hands at Solo are dealt the performer gets the 4 Aces. He follows this by dealing an opponent a Whist hand which does not contain a single trump. Finally he deals himself a Bridge hand containing all the trumps. A routine with enough action to satisfy any card player, or fellow magician.
If there is some interest however, then you pay attention to her subtle cues and escalate the conversation appropriately. I'll show you exactly how it's done step-by-step later in this chapter. It simply can't get any more low pressure than this. You have to take some kind of small chance in order to make contact with a woman there just isn't any way to do it with absolute zero risk to your ego. It's like trying to dive into a pool naked without getting wet. It can't be done.
It might seem like an innocent and easy way of getting to know each other - My name's , what's yours . But as everyone and their mom is doing that, it is just plain lame. If she's not interested in you, she'll forget your name in an instant. And if she is, believe me, she's gonna ask for it ) And this way it even becomes a little test of If during the conversation she suddenly discovers to her amazement that goosh, I don't even know this guy's name and asks for
By doing this, ends of both packets will be touching at the inner ends. See Illus. 2 and 3. Remove both hands and go to the opposite ends of both parcels with either hand. This next move is a joy to watch and a pleasure to perform. I might add that it will not only fool laymen but magicians as well. Since my way of performing TRIUMPH has appeared in Exclusive Card Secrets it has been a topic of conversation among magicians. It has made such an impact that several magicians have included their versions in print which are inferior to the original method which appeared in the book.
I've seen guys that go up to a girl and they'll be talking about something totally irrelevant to the conversation, or they'll skip from topic to topic -without any kind of natural transitions. And they just doesn't GET that other people are thinking What the HELL is he telling me that for - and it just comes off as BIZARRE.
This seems quite natural in practice. Your words appear to be entirely conversational, which allows the client to feel comfortable responding. By first setting the stage by offering clarification the client naturally answers. If they need more information, but are not specific, simply ask the client an open ended comparison question. This seems to keep the conversation rolling. As your exchange continues, the details of what they need become clearer to them and to you. Sometimes this device is good solely to help the client become more focused on their own desires as well.
Holding back so few cards using the Halfing System, the riffle shuffles can be made by sense of touch alone without so much as glancing at the deck and while carrying on a normal conversation during the whole process thus cutting down on what at first glance appears as a lengthy procedure. 17. Conversation or patter is most important as an aid to the shuffles since it directs attention away from them and they never appear to take very long. If silence prevails the shuffles can have a tendency to become monotonous.
Do not introduce yourself yet as a lot of dating books suggest. I find that it's too contrived and fake sounding, and only serves to re-introduce whatever tension you may've just defused. Wait a few minutes to let the conversation pick up a bit of steam, and then shake her hand and exchange names. Remember the handshake trick I showed you before (Review Chapter 3, pg. 58) Rotate your wrist very slightly (and slowly ) to your right (clockwise) until her hand is above yours, sort of like the knight in shining armor preparing to kiss the hand of the fair maiden. BUT DO NOT KISS HER HAND YOU ASSHOLE (If I still have to tell you stuff like this you are completely hopeless ).
Let's look back to the telephone call from the client. Once you have discovered exactly what they are celebrating, use the phrase, your special occasion or this very special occasion in the conversation. This will implant in their minds that it is even more special than they realise, and that you are aware of it.
It makes no difference how much time has passed, five minutes or five hours, since the first conversation. Your subconscious will have processed much of the nonverbal information the two of you exchanged. That makes it possible for you to see more clearly what the other person is saying during later conversations During the second conversation, stronger signals are exchanged as the man continues his effort to persuade and the woman continues her effort to determine his worthiness. Many of the gestures and signs from the first conversation are used but new ones are added. Some signals are so important, they are repeated here. During conversation, the other person is focused on you, not looking around the room, at the dancers on the floor, the band or at anything other than you. Reliable if accompanied by other signs of interest. HEAD TILTS FARTHER During conversation, a broad smile indicates the person is enjoying the interaction with you. Slight smiles or no smiles indicate serious,...
1 had been vaguely convinced of part two of this principle for some time, but 1 didn't really embrace it until 1983. It was during a conversation with Christian Fetchner while I was in Paris. Christian is well known in the European magic community for his inventions and F1SM appearances. A successful producer of French films, he has a wonderful presence about him. His reply, when I asked him how someone might make magic truly memorable, was not what I expected. He said You must do something they believe is real. Really real. Not with skill. Not with trickery. Uri Geller, he pointed out, became world famous, because he claimed to be real. Fault his morals if you want, but he did create memorable events. There are other approaches, and 111 onlyjudge this area in how it meets our goal of Making Magic Memorable.
Here's an extra little tip keep your subjects up to date. What might be a 'hot topic' one year might be only mildly interesting another. Some topics might change in popularity over just a few weeks or months. Look out for relevant news items that you can use that will have long lasting appeal, and listen for recurring topics in conversations.
You begin the rapport building process simply by drawing her out listen and get a feel for what interests her. Guide the conversation towards hobbies, lifestyles, common friends, hang-outs, etc., but let her give you the cues as to what she's willing to talk about (lifelines ). Then show her that you either have a similar interest or that you are open-minded enough to learn more about whatever it is that interests her. IMPORTANT Don't come across like a total me too lying fake because -unless you're an academy award winning actor -- you don't stand a chance of pulling it off. Make sure that your interest in a particular topic is genuine, or you'd be better off to just say nothing and press the conversation forward in hopes of finding some other common ground with her that's more to your liking. Some topics (like for instance shopping barf ) are just too feminine and you wouldn't be expected as a normal
Usage When we are truly surprised, rather than feigning the emotion for effect, as, e.g., in a conversation, two involuntary visceral muscles in our eyelids--the superior and inferior tarsals--widen our eye slits to make the eyes appear noticeably rounder, larger, and whiter. Like dilated pupils (another visceral sign of emotional arousal), flashbulb eyes are controlled by impulses from the nervous system's fight-or-flight division. As visceral signs, true flashbulb eyes are difficult to produce at will. Thus, they are all the more trustworthy as nonverbal cues, especially of terror or rage. In angry individuals, flashbulb eyes are a danger sign of imminent verbal aggression or physical attack.
But how does this information have any practical value for you Well, once you know someone's thinking preference you can make a pointed effort to match their pattern by inserting conversational cues that suggest that you too share the same cognitive bias. This creates an instant feeling of closeness and comradery because the basis of all romantic attraction is simply this people like people who seem similar to themselves. Finding someone who seems to be on your wavelength - who holds the promise of one day being able to communicate with you in shorthand and discerning glances - can be quite thrilling, for either sex. Finding someone so in tune with your own way of seeing the world validates your viewpoints and opinions doing so in a way suggests you're a pretty smart person without actually coming out and saying so. A person who seems to mirror your outlook and thinking style is very appealing on a subconscious level. Once you've identified an auditory girl -- try to sprinkle your...
I mentioned this presentation to John. He suggested a whoopie cushion on the floor. When the second spectator's finger is over his selection, you set off the cushion with your foot. After thinking about this, I realized you could take the spectator's finger and pass it over the cards. Then comes the explosion. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pull your finger. (I hope you recognize idle conversation when you read it.)
The fallibility of human recall is not the problem. The problem is the lack of awareness of this fallibility. When people adamantly insist that they can remember something very well, they are usually wrong, and this gives rise to difficulties. In relationships, it gives rise to rows about past conversations (the 'That's not what I said ' syndrome). In law, it gives rise to flawed eyewitness testimony. In many other fields, it causes all sorts of strife, conflicts and difficulties. All these problems would vanish if people were well aware that what they think happened may be seriously adrift of what actually did happen. This applies to sceptics just as much as to anyone else - although sceptics are probably more aware of the fact than most.
When you think about it, every stage along the way from first eye contact to marriage vows requires one partner to initiate an attempt to move the relationship forward to a new level, and the other partner to eventually join in. From first glance to smile, to an opening conversation, a date, a first meaningful kiss, sexual relations, an engagement ring, a trip down the aisle and finally a decision to have kids. At each step along this path, if one or both partners refuses to advance onward to the next phase of the seduction, the two people will invariably separate and move on with their lives in different directions.
The basis of this concept is in rephrasing a sentence, a feeling, a concept expressed by the woman and expressing it in a new frame which is favorable to your purposes. Observe this conversation between him and her A funny detail if you hear the conversations women have among themselves and often also with men, you will notice that they are masters in the art of reframing everything to their advantage.
The performer enters into conversation with some people in the hotel or office, wherever he happens to be, and makes the suggestion that his assistant's powers can be tested at a distance. One or more cards are generally selected, some initials may be chosen, a number in dice is thrown and a series of figures may be written down, dates selected and time of day noted. One or two gentlemen are chosen as messengers. They take any sheet of paper and envelope, with pen and ink and proceed to the assistant's room, wherever that may be, and hand her (it is generally a lady) the paper and pen without saying a word and in a few minutes she hands them a correct written answer to all their questions with necessary proper descriptions.
Another problem that can arise for many magicians and men-talists is when a spectator is required to read a prediction or say something that is the climax of the effect. Often, a whole routine can be ruined if the spectator doesn't do a good job with his task. This can be avoided by using a slight variation of the above techniques. When you first choose your spectator, immediately begin asking him questions requiring him to talk. Elaborate on what he says and strike up a mini-conversation so that he becomes used to speaking into the microphone. If he doesn't talk loud enough, simply ask him to speak louder and get closer to the microphone. Now you can continue with your effect with some degree of confidence they will not ruin the ending. You can almost guarantee success by getting the person to talk again just before the climax. You might say something like, Has this envelope been touched by anyone else since I gave it to you Where were you holding it Can you tell
Incidentally you will find that a lot of the social conversation that takes place when two relative strangers meet in a public place is of this nature (in England at least ) It reduces the level of defensiveness if we talk about things that we can agree on which is why the weather is such a great asset to the English yes, definite yes, mild yes, reluctant yes, undecided, reluctant no, mild no, definite no or emphatic no -giving you a nine point scale. The purpose of being aware of this is to guide you away from the more negative topics of conversation and towards the safer ones. That scored nine positives and one negative out of the ten statements that got a response, and one null response. As you play this game with others you will find that some will play very safe at first with statements like Your name is Your eyes are blue or You are wearing shoes, I see . But after a while this phase should wear off and they should move into more natural areas of conversation. The intelligent...
Do you understand now why your fear and shame and all the other various trouble that you have with this subject have come to focus themselves directly on this issue of having to be the first one to open your mouth and start a conversation You certainly realized how this moment -- unlike any other in the world -- is the most important appraisal of your manhood that you will ever encounter. In that split second with no hope of rebuttal, you would be judged on your acceptability as a potential lover who can give her the emotions that she craves from any future romantic entanglements. It is your audition for a woman's heart The dilemma is that you may not have had a sincere appreciation ofjust what it was you were being graded on when you attempted to speak to her (answer you do now your dominant male attitude ). The combination of these
Like the previous technique, the theory involves eliciting enough 'yes' during the course of the conversation so your prospect will automatically agree when you make the primary request s. Remember that you should not sound stilted or artificial. When speaking in this manner, make the conversation as spontaneous as can be. Ask for short responses from your prospect for your pace statements. Select pace statements that he or she is almost guaranteed to believe in.
Imagine that people don't want to be bothered. After temporarily adopting this frame of mind, go out each day or night that week and try to strike up conversations with strangers. It will be difficult because of your frame of mind. What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Having that negative frame of mind becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once the week is over, purge yourself of that toxic frame of mind.
If you observe that the target you opened is responsive, use your next opener on them to keep the conversation going. Get to the point where you can use all three openers with a target. This is called Stacking Openers, because you're building a conversation by laying a new Opener on top of the responses of an old one. If you look at all conversations, it's just one Opener after another. Conceivably, if you know enough Openers, you can hold conversations with people for hours.
If you want more confidence in the world, smile. To do this, practice smiling to anyone and everyone, everywhere you go Do this when you're at work, at home, and in the store. No matter where you're at, give someone the gift of a smile. As you get good at smiling and make it a habit, practice making small talk with people. This will cause you to become more adept at conversing and you'll discover your conversations flowing with greater ease than ever before. Ask people how they are doing and find out what they want in life. People love to talk about themselves and it will make you feel good to really listen to someone intently.
The original concept as written for SYZYGY ages ago has been updated with a new premise, a very topical routine and, thanks to a telephone conversation with Larry Becker, a clever title too Full size copies of the five stock certificates are included following the routine.
My first exposure to Kolossal Killer -was when Kenton Knepper briefly described it to me in a telephone conversation a few years ago. Kenton mentioned his marketed version with Larry Becker, but just told me that the original version was different, and left it at that. Intrigued, I tried to buy the marketed version, first from Larry himself, but he seemed to be out of them, as was the manufacturer, Roy Roth, at the time. For months I could not find it anywhere_ Eventually, I was pointed to the Larry Becker video, Mental Masterpieces, which contained to some extent the Kenton Becker marketed version. I fell in love with Becker's Arson take on magician's choice, and couldn't resist the subtle simplicity of Kenton's off principle.
I am sure that some of you are thinking how can he do this so early on in the conversation The reason I can is that l have already gotten them to commit to being adventurous and spontaneous, so, through the principle of commitment and consistency, they have to be consistent with what they have committed to. If they act prudish, then l will accuse them of lying about being adventurous and spontaneous.
Recently I phoned Peter and asked if I could record our conversation in the form of an interview for my book (this one). Without hesitation he said yes , and I had barely turned on the recorder when he went into a fascinating and insightful monologue that blew my mind. I barely interrupted, so really, it is not an interview. I just let him talk and asked a few questions here and there.
As I state before in Chapter 1 and as I describe further in my first book, How To Hypnotize Yourself Without Losing Your Mind, a hypnotic induction is just a formal ceremony to get your conscious and subconscious minds alert that hypnosis is coming soon. It cues your brain to start working on the suggestions given with more concentration than you give in normal conversation.
The continual tapping of a cigar or cigarette end on the ashtray shows that an inner conflict is taking place and that you may need to reassure the smoker. Here, too, is an interesting smoking phenomenon. Most smokers smoke their cigarette down to a certain length before extinguishing it in the ashtray. If the smoker lights a cigarette and suddenly extinguishes it earlier than he normally would, he has signalled his decision to terminate the conversation. Watching for this termination signal can allow you to take control or to close the conversation, making it appear that it was your idea to end it.
If you're not a kidshow performer, the principle still holds. If you want to get a restaurant gig, start eating out a lot. Find a restaurant that is neither too busy nor too slow, and has the kind of ambience and clientele that you would like to be identified with. Go in several times, during the slow hours of 2-4 in the afternoon, and strike up conversations with the waitresses and managers. The fourth or fifth time, bring a deck of cards and a magic book. After you've been seated and your order has been taken, open the book
People who are masterful communicators nod as they are listening to others. In doing this, they open others up to relax and share whatever is on their minds. The next time you are talking with someone, continually nod to open them up for sharing. To practice this, get a partner and have a conversation with them. Say as little as possible and nod as often as you appropriately can. This is what effective communicators do and by modeling effective communicators, your confidence in interpersonal skills and thus in yourself will dramatically increase.
A good way of practicing this effect is to remove your own watch for one week. Every time you ask someone the time, miscall it by five to ten minutes. Later in your conversation with them, cause time to go backwards. The great thing about this is, if you get busted on the miscall people will simply correct you thinking you have misread the watch by accident. No one will assume you were preparing for an effect. This is a very safe way to work up the confidence for the miscalling of the time in the effect as described.
When you realize that you can talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, you will have more confidence in yourself than ever before. A secret to being a great conversationalist is knowing how to ask questions and show genuine interest in the other person. Quite simply, ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a simple yes no response to them. They require the person answering to elaborate and describe what they are thinking. Closed-ended questions do not further develop conversations since they are usually one-word answers. If someone repeatedly responds to you with one-word answers, there's not much to work from to develop the conversation.
From the above we can see that the essence of cold reading is the use by the reader of nonverbal feedback from the client to help him decide between a number of already-known alternative routes for the conversation. While cold reading requires the client unwittingly to deliberate between implicit choices produced by the reader, in what might be termed 'closed questioning' (e.g. do you have children ), in warm reading the emphasis is on the client to provide answers to 'open questions' to which the reader need not know the range of possible answers (e.g. what are your children's names ). The process of warm reading is less constrained than that for cold reading (as for example Some of this information will be freely volunteered by the client if the reader has successfully developed a rapport with her, through mirroring her body language, appearing friendly and sincere, and expressing a wish to help with her problems. The client can be encouraged to speak - or to continue speaking - by...
You will be wondering about the name. Some time ago I was in a pub in Bristol with Derren Brown having an enjoyably stupid conversation. We were talking about magic books, and how the names of the tricks are often rather dull. For our own puerile amusement, we started thinking up silly names for tricks, such as Torn And Restored Statue Of Liberty, Signed Card to Pancreatic Duct, Levitating Fog, Poker Deal From Silk and so on. Elephant From Matchbox was another example, and I just thought it was time someone actually used it.
Obviously, having three good openers in your back pocket will get you started and should kindle a nice conversation. But once that happens, now what Most guys shouldn't have a problem with this, after all, starting the conversation is the hard part. But still, there are many men out there who don't quite know where to go once they're successfully in. This is where storytelling enters the scene. The thing is, being able to tell a good story is IMPERATIVE in not only keeping the conversation going, but also in helping you to attract your target and create a sense of comfort and connection with them.
Both the open triangular position and the closed position are used to include or exclude another person from the conversation. Figure 142 shows the triangular formation taken by the first two to show acceptance of the third. When a third person wishes to join two others who are standing in a closed formation, he may be invited to join the conversation only when the other two orient their torsos towards a mutual third point to form the triangle. If the third person is not accepted, the others will hold the closed formation position and turn only their heads towards him or her as a sign of recognition of the third person's presence but the direction of their torsos shows that he is not invited to remain (Figure 143). Often a conversation among three people may begin in the open triangular formation but eventually two may take the closed formation position to exclude the third person (Figure 143). This group formation is a clear signal to the third person that he should leave the group...
When A asks you a question, how can you answer him and carry on a conversation without making B feel excluded Use this simple but highly effective inclusion technique when A asks a question, look at him as you begin to answer, then turn your head towards B, then back to A, then to B again until you make your final statement, looking at A (who asked the question) again as you finish your sentence. This technique lets B feel involved in the conversation and is particularly useful if you need to have B on side with you.
The best way to disassociate yourself from the outcome is to decide how far its going to go beforehand and pursue that end. Also, if you are intimidated by beautiful girls, learn to approach ugly girls and guys and practice striking up conversations with them. I've been in many situations where I've had warpigs chasing me just because I bothered talking to them. Its a nice ego boost (and puts you in the hot chick frame) and helps you as you work your way up
This position is normally used by people who are engaged in friendly, casual conversation. The position allows for unlimited eye contact and the opportunity to use numerous gestures and to observe the gestures of the other person. The corner of the desk provides a partial barrier should one person begin to feel threatened, and this
People who are shy and people who are confident place their attention in different places. Shy people tend to focus inward by constantly analyzing their last statements and how people perceive it and they eavesdrop on their endless internal chatter while trying to maintain a conversation. Confident people place their attention onto the person or people to whom they are speaking. One hundred percent of their focus is there and they trust themselves to adjust their communication automatically based upon the feedback that they get from their conversation partner or partners. If you find yourself going inside to have an internal chat, stop yourself and come back out. Promise yourself that you'll chat with yourself later on. People will notice the difference when you are entirely with them or when you're having two conversations one with them and one with yourself. Remember to consistently focus your attention outwards for the best possible communication. I'm sure you appreciate it when...
Whatever line of business you are in, if it involves dealing with people, you are in the influencing business and your objective should always be to see the other person's point of view, to put him or her at ease and make him or her feel right about dealing with you the competitive position does not lead towards this end. More co-operation will be gained from the corner and co-operative positions than will ever be achieved from the competitive position. Conversations are shorter and more specific in this position than from any other.
Several years ago, when I entertained at the regional meeting of the Soroptimist Club, a philanthropic women's organization, my program ran 40 minutes and was quite well received. The most surprising aspect of the evening was the extraordinary response to my opener, the Magic Square which I had resurrected from the obscurity of my list of seldom used effects. According to the lady who booked me, it was the main topic of conversation for several days following the performance. I'm still not 100 sure why the effect scored such an impact, but perhaps it had something to do with my presentation. Unlike many performers I do not ask the audience to construct a 2-digit number and then proceed to fill-in the 16 square grid used for the Magic Square effect. In my version I have a number mentally selected by a spectator which is not revealed until after the square is totally filled-in. That changes the feat from a mathematical oddity or puzzle to a mental effect.
People, when they learned about the magician, either said yes or no -- but not to me. I only went to tables that had made a positive response. Restaurant magic became much more fun. Further, I soon realized that this way of doing things was better not only for me but also for the restaurant. What any restaurant wants is for every patron to have a pleasant experience without any unpleasant moments. If people are having important conversations and the magician appears, they either have to say no to the magician or watch the show when they really would have preferred to continue their conversation. Having a third person introduce the presence of the magician not only makes the magician more special, it also removes a potentially embarrassing moment for the patrons (and the magician ).
In late 1974, I was in Chicago doing a trade show when I had the opportunity to get together with a devoted local amateur with whom I'd met previously, while he was visiting New York. His name is Mike Kozlowski (best known for his manuscript, The 100 Bill Switch). During our session he showed me an idea he said Al Schneider was experimenting with and asked my opinion. I suggested that the idea seemed a good one but that only experimentation would prove how good. That idea, which I dubbed The Intention Force in my notes, has been in my arsenal ever since. The effect in which I most often use it is included here for the first time. I almost didn't include it in deference to the idea and its creator. Though it had been well over twenty years since I learned of it, it still had not been published. Fortunately, I've was able to arrange a conversation with Al Schneider, whom I've never met, during which he gave me his blessing in releasing the idea. I've avoided using the effect around...
In the course of this book we have explored a number of specific Sleight of Mouth patterns, and the principles and methods which underlie the ability to generate and use them. The purpose of this chapter is to summarize them as a system of distinctions which can be used, in either conversation, consultation, or debate, to help people become more 'open to doubt' limiting beliefs, and more 'open to believe' empowering and useful beliefs. There are fourteen distinct Sleight of Mouth patterns which each help to shift attention, or widen a person's map in different directions.
In Wonder Words Volume II, Kenton speaks about the four types as he often uses them, and how this applies to performances, spectator selection, and so forth. Of course any type descriptions are also very applicable to readings and personality tests. Just being aware of these four types can allow you to get great insights about people rather quickly, just by simple observation or conversation. In Wonder Words, Kenton describes these types as suits of cards for easy application. So as not to confuse these with the playing card reading material, we have renamed these types simply A, B, C and D. A stands for Aggressive. B stands for Benevolent. C stands for Controlled, and D stands for Distracting. Key words for this card Inner-directed, Sensitive, Contemplative. You come to terms with yourself and your environment more often, and more completely, than most people. You despise shallowness. You'd rather be alone than have to endure small talk. Your relationships with your friends are quite...
Okay, so a conversation I had dealing with open loops opened up into a conversation about women's need for drama. In part, this is because I feel open loops create a tension that most women crave, because they are emotional crackheads. They feed off emotion, and the strongest forms of emotion are the bad ones. So Budec from the SS list asked me to expound further on this thought. So I'm reposting this here for your viewing pleasure
Now you notice another small group in which the people are standing with arms unfolded, palms exposed, coats unbuttoned, relaxed appearance, leaning on one foot with the other pointing towards other members of the group and moving in and out of each other's intimate zones. Close investigation reveals that these people are friends or are known personally to each other. Interestingly, the people using the closed arms and legs stance may have relaxed facial expressions and conversation that sounds free and easy, but the folded arms and legs tell us that they are not relaxed or confident.
The returning of the items is apparently over, I thank the group and the spectator, and invite him to sit back down. My right arm comes across his chest to his right shoulder, pushing him back gently, as I ask where he was sat. At the same time, my left hand grabs the belt end, and pulls it out of the loop where it has been resting, then grabs the buckle. I turn around with the belt buckle in my hand, snaking the belt out of his trousers and around my body in a figure-eight movement. This is seen by the group and is definitely played for laughs. I am now on his right side, holding up the belt. 1 apologise profusely, and place it with my right hand across his body into his left, In the action of doing so, I block his downwards view with my right arm, and my left simultaneously comes in, grabs the tie near the knot, and pulls it towards me, over and free of his shoulder. I push it into my left pocket, blocked from the view of the spectators by my body, as I thank him for...
This technique summons power by appealing to his subconscious. Consciously, he is not aware of your mirroring unconsciously, he sees someone who reminds him of himself. A tip when mirroring commence mirroring about three minutes after the conversation begins to avoid being too obvious.
The person appears to be carrying on an animated conversation, however he is always hiding his palms. It's a form of holding back and hiding one's true feelings. Some women play Rapo, as in Rape-o. During the conversation she's relaxed but suggestive and appears to be eager to jump in the sack. When the man proposes they take steps toward that end, she Between intense moments of falling deeply into love, I had shared my knowledge of nonverbal communication with her as idle conversation. She was a
This leg cross indicates that an argumentative or competitive attitude exists. It is the sitting position used by many American males who have a competitive nature. This being the case, it is difficult to interpret the attitude of an American during a conversation, but it is quite obvious when this gesture is used by a British citizen.
Mike Astro Diary is a version of the Birthday Book, an effect that has appeared in various forms over the years. The effect basically goes like this The conversation turns to birthdays, and a spectator is asked the month and day of his birth. He is given a small pocket calendar (or date book, or diary) that has a different playing card written next to each day of the year. He then chooses a card from the deck. This card marches the card written next to his birthday in the pocket calendar.
Some months ago a fellow came up and spoke to me after one of my lectures. What he said surprised me. You sound just like your review column I guess I was surprised because I don't know how else I would sound it was never my goal to structure these reviews as serious, formal essays. I wanted these reviews to be conversational in tone, and if I have eventually found my writing voice I'm delighted. Those who know me personally can probably hear my voice as they read these words. If we haven't met, all you're missing is the timbre of my voice and the rhythm I use to deliver the words the experience of this column would be similar to discussing the tricks while enjoying a cup of coffee. It's amazing to discover that a writer can sound just like his books. Other than in the world of magic, I am not personally acquainted with anyone who's written a book. But many of my magic acquaintances have written books, and I have found that over the years I return again and again to those books in...
The highlights of this collection are Eugene's essays, which range from dealing with hecklers to a hellish conversation between a professional magician, an amateur, and a prostitute. Eugene asked us to treat magic as an Art, and his words reached many. Others had written about this subject before, but few generated the enthusiasm that Eugene did.
You can either navigate through The Little Egypt Gazette issue by issue, or you can explore the contents by subject matter. In the trick section you'll find routines by Steve Bryant, Steven Youell, Peter Duffie, Paul Harris, Simon Lovell, Danny Dew, Ken Krenzel, Eddie Fields, and Harry Riser. The interviews include conversations with Bonnie Saxe, Danny Orleans (discussing the Eddie Fields Code), Doc Eason, Eddie Fields, Erika Larsen, Peter Duffie, Simon Lovell, Mac King, and Kreskin. The reviews include not only product reviews, but reviews of conventions, Vegas shows, and television programs.
Personally, I believe it would be a good idea to begin with an old pure silver dollar and use an old silver certificate bill. This is a form of dollar bill used over 20 years ago which had printed on the face the fact that it was worth the equivalent of one dollar in silver on demand. This isn't necessary, but it would make for an interesting conversation piece and if s a natural lead-in for this routine. Also, you could change the bill to the silver dollar and quit (or use the coin in an effect),but if you borrow the bill an extra step will be involved. IH explain this later.
Magic has given me the opportunity to travel to interesting places and encounter many people you would not otherwise get a chance to meet. People like Prof. Christaan Barnard who pioneered the world's first heart transplant in 1967. He and I were chatting in a sauna when he told me how bad a sauna was for your heart Others who come to mind are the astronomer Carl Sagan with whom I had some deep and interesting conversations. His son, who was sixteen years old at the time was interested in magic and I sent him one of Marvin's Magic boxes. On various occasions I entertained the multi-millionaire Paul Getty and his guests, in his sumptuous home Sutton Place. It was interesting to see that this man, who has given countless millions to museums and art galleries, had a pay phone in his hall. As a complete contrast I was chosen to do the first half of a Rolling Stones concert an unforgettable experience The Greek shipping magnate Onassis gave some unbelievable ship launching parties for his...
I was staring at a bottle of steak sauce.For seme unknown reason, I asked everyone if they knew why they called it Heinz 57 Sauce. Everyone just figured that I had run out of conversation. Not wanting to appear stupid, I picked up the bottle, removed the cap, ana dumped 57 cents from inside. It's because there's fifty seven cents inside of every bottle. Everyone (there were about fifteen at the table) was amused if not impressed. Between that moment and the lecture the next morning, the following routine evolved.
Rather than the standard biography, I thought I would mention just a few casual observations I have made of Harry during the last six months we have been preparing this issue. Some of them were gleaned from conversations we have had. Others were mumbled under my breath with my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. I will also add one caution against cheap cards. You will find that cheap cards will talk when doing the change. While you may chose not to listen to their conversations, it's much easier just to part with the extra fifty cents to avoid the problem altogether.
The Psychological Reading (How to Read). First, in my preliminary conversation with the sitter, I endeavor to study their characteristics and to memorize the details of their appearance. However, not so I can tell them or their character, but so I can deduct something of their past and present surroundings, as I consider their environment to have made them what they are. In giving the actual reading I generally close my eyes and start receiving impressions, as I find people are more responsive when I appear not to notice them. Then I usually have some form of physical contact with their hands, this contact guiding me when I am right or wrong. Having remembered the color of their eyes, hair complexion, their features, speech, tone of. voice, dress, etc. enables me to give accurate descriptions of natural friends, enemies, rivals, etc.
Jennings performing at the Magic Castle, and routines from this performance set are scattered throughout the video. You should be aware that none of these routines are explained on the tape. Included are Mr. Jennings' handling for Dan Garrett's Four Card Reiteration, and the famous Open Travelers. There is a conversation with Earl Nelson, and then Mr. Jennings launches into the demonstrations and explanations of the routines.
I have also used the approach recommended by Michael Close. He will usually strike up a conversation with a group of people. Just whatever happens to be available to talk about. This allows the group to get somewhat acquainted. He then basically comes out and tells the group why he is at the function. He then is free to move into his routine.
De Nijs has been a member of the I.B.M. for many years. An amusing incident occurred just after the liberation, when one day he heard a knock on the door of the house in which he was living. On opening the door he was confronted by a huge man in British Officer's uniform, who announced his identity as Captain George Braund . . . and the conversation went something like this.
That little story brings to mind the first time I met Jimmy Grippo, the legendary hypnotist and magician. After years of entertaining high rollers at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Jimmy recently passed away. He was in his nineties. I saw Jimmy many years ago at a Miami nightclub. He was doing hypnosis and cards and was very entertaining. He fooled the living daylights out of me. I sent the waiter to his dressing room after the show and invited him to have a drink. Jimmy later came over and sat down. He asked me if I was interested in magic I told them that I was, but I never expected his next remark. Then prove it, he said. He handed me a pack of cards and asked me to show him something. He later told me that he often did this to determine at what level the conversation should take place. In other words, if I was a heavyweight, that would dictate an in conversation. If not, than he would be sociable, but stay away from the real work. I took the deck and began to show Jimmy a trick. I...
Attraction Secrets - Are you timid Shy Is it hard to speak up This section enables you to break the ice with any stranger, maintain conversations, convey your ideas, and build confidence and intimacy in all encounters. A few powerful formulas of attraction will enhance your life forever. The Golden Tongue - Your voice is a tremendous asset. Packed with powerful oratorical and conversational techniques this section enables you to sound good and look great even if you don't have anything worthy to say. Additionally, you will learn to modify your vocal quality, master power phrases and ask the right questions to bring compliance.
So, if she resists you, simply interrupt your approach and after a while try it again. Don't make the mistake of stopping your approach at the first signs of resistance because that is a resistance many women have, almost all women. Of course, not all of them do it like this. I have also brought women to bed after only 5 minutes conversation and a simple kiss. I never ask forgiveness for being a man and of having a man's sexual desire. For example, in my life I brought to bed many women by simply telling them - within 5 minutes of our meeting - when we were still in the phase of the small talk
In 1998, while helping Ken Simmons rewrite his book, Guarded Secrets Revealed (1988), he recounted the events surrounding his development and later West Coast performance of what he titled the Simmons Pivot Turnover, a Double Lift turnover technique that appears in Larry Jennings the Cardwright (1988, page 114) credited to Stuart Gordon. At that time, based on the relevant available information, I concluded it had been miscredited. I have previously stated as much. A more recent conversation with Earl Nelson, at the Buffalo Get-together, changed my view. Simmons reported having developed the technique in the late 1970's. He later showed it to Jennings and Jim Patton during a visit to the Magic Castle no doubt, this occurred. Ken believed, based on statements made at the time, that neither Jennings nor Patton had seen the technique previously. This too may have been true. Never having read or seen such a technique, presumably combined with the reactions of other informed individuals he...
It was partly to overcome the problem that the Spencer Turpin alliance was formed. The system was very simple. As was their normal practise, they would ride around on the top deck of a bus. In this way they were able to see in above the normal smoked glass of the different pubs, until they spotted one that was full. They would then get off at the next stop and walk back. Spencer would walk into the saloon bar on his own, and order a drink. He would also attempt to engage the landlord in conversation. Dick, meanwhile, would hang about outside for a while. Then fifteen minutes later would walk into the public bar and ask permission to work it. He would commence performing. Spencer, in the other bar, would by now have engaged the landlord and possibly one or two other people in conversation. Suddenly, glancing into the public bar, he would notice Dick. Dick would then go through to the other bar, where he and Spencer would exchange pleasanteries Spencer making sure all of the time that...
During a conversation with Billy McComb in which we were discussing the Fred deck (Fred Lowe's Christened Reverse ), I realized that this trick would work with any name. So I made up the trick using the name Ray. Now I really did have a trick that I could legitimately call his favorite. The management loved it and I would often get requests by the manager to show someone Ray's favorite.
As is typical with many great truths that come from The Professor, it started out as idle conversation. We were talking about the learning process and how it applies to different fields of artistic expression. He pointed out that the accumulation,of knowledge doesn't result in learning that progresses linearly you don't gradually improve little by little as more knowledge is accumulated.
Very often women tell me during a conversation I hope you will never let me put you down They know that I am a playboy and they cannot tell tales to me. So they are sincere with me about this. Being a playboy means hearing stories some other men are never told. Then you tell her the funny story and end the conversation without promising her anything. Obviously the above example is a bit simple and banal. With practice, however, you will be able to use the above strategy smoothly by hiding it in the context of a normal conversation.
Leave the handkerchief folded into fourths as you unscrew the bulb. End up with the bulb held in the center of the cloth by the left hand, and the bill in the right hand. The right hand holds the top corner separated from the rest to make the next move look open and natural (FIG. 1). At this point you can build up the mystery of the floating bulb, or give any other line of conversation to allow a few seconds for the bulb to cool.
When my girlfriend and I go out looking for a bisexual woman for a threesome, I do the opener and begin the conversation. Then we all get into small talk. My girlfriend and the woman will exchange a few sentences and establish rapport. If the woman asks about us, I speak romantically about our relationship. Either way, I then introduce my girlfriend to the woman. They shake hands and then I introduce myself and shake the woman's hand. But then I turn her hand palm up and study the lines on her palm. She asks if I read palms. I say that I do and ask if she would like to know what hers says about her. Then I read her palm with convincing authority and run a number of patterns which make her feel good about herself, which link pleasure to me, and which establishes a bond and increased rapport. Then I get to the part in Rick H's CD where I say That is a sign of sexual adventurism. They always laugh. As she is laughing, I say Do you like women They always give me an honest answer. If they...
Bring the conversation around to double faced cards during a session by remarking on the difficulty of obtaining particular combinations especially in poker sized cards. Say you have solved the problem by making your own as you remove a card from your right coat pocket holding it as in (Fig. 1) with the thumb on one long edge and the second on the other, the index finger curled up at the back with its nail pressing on the back making the face of the card slightly convex.
Daddy's girls also tend to be talkative. I love talkative women. They have an opinion and they can sustain a conversation. This is in contrast to another woman who needs to be constantly entertained. When I am getting to know a woman, I always steer the conversation to find out what her relationship with her father was like. Her response will heavily weigh in my decision. Also, I will at some point pay her a compliment. If she replies with a genuine Thank you then that's a good sign. If she responds by denying it or belittling it, that's a bad sign. I will also get conversation to where I ask her about her past relationships, what was good about them and what was bad about them. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. So how do you test for all these things in a conversation When I meet a woman, the first thing I test for is a good self esteem. Somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the compliment...
About 75 of the world's population quivers at the prospect of striking up conversations with a stranger. The reason Shyness. This chapter concentrates on teaching the essentials of striking up a conversation with perfect strangers, then making a friend out of them. It provides formulas necessary to minimize, then eliminate entirely, shyness.
Get All The Support And Guidance You Need To Be A Success With Conversation And Communication. This Book Is One Of The Most Valuable Resources In The World When It Comes To The Art Of Conversation And Communication.