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Novelty playing card monologues have always been liked, but suoh routines have also been very soaroe. This one should find quite a few ready to use It, especially because, with the suggestions at its finish, little memory is necessary for its telling, and no memory at all for the set-up of the deck.

A deck is removed from Its case, given a false shuffle If possible, and a story told. It is during this that cards are taken off the top of the deck and shown to illustrate the theme.

"I am going to tell you a story, and I'm going to illustrate it with playing cards somewhat as the lecturer illustrates his talk with lantern slides. This is a story about a poor boy who was in love with a rich girl.

"The boy's name was John, but his girl friends all oalled him Jack (J3). Jack was in love with a girl named Nina (9S-AC). Nina was the queen (QD) of Jack's heart (2H). Jack surely had a "case" on Nina (show the card case). The only thing that came between these two young lovers was Nina's wealth. She had lots of diamonds (6D-2D); while Jack was just a WPA worker (Joker). His only means of support was a spade (QS). One night, when Jack was "flush" (3D-4D-7D-9D-KD), he invited Nina to have dinner with him. They went to an exclusive night club (3C). Nina, who was used to eating In style, ordered everything on the menu: she ate (8C) and ate (83) and ate (8H); while Jack had just a small club steak(4C).

But Nina kept on eatings she ate (8D) tray (3H) after tray (33) of food. Our hero didn't have much "jack" (JO) in his pocket, and he worried himself siok (63) over how he would pay the bill; and when the bill finally came, was Jack's face red (JD)1 You see, the bill was for nine seventy-five (9C-7S-5C), and all Jack had was five (5C) ones (AH-AD). Jack frankly told the waiter that he couldn't pay the bill, and the waiter frankly oalled in the bouncer.

This made quite a scene, for everyone was staring at them: there was a full house (10C-10S-10H-6C-6H) there that night. You oan imagine how Nina was embarassed by all this. She was more than embarrassed, she saw red (QH); she was "wild" (2C) --- deuces are wild; she gave

Jack a black look (QC), turned her back (show the back of the 7C), and went home without even saying goodnight, leaving Jack to cope with the bouncer alone.

The bouncer wasn't very polite to our hero; he.called him names; he even called him a highjacker (hold the JH high above your head). They decided that Jack should pay over what money he had and then work out the rest of the bill; so forking over (4S-K0) his five dollars (53), he went out to the kitchen to wash dishes for the remaining four seventy-five (4H-7H-6D). He went into the kitchen and bent over the sink and washed and washed dishes until he had kinks (KH-X3) In his baok. I told you he was a «PA worker, and he hated like the deuce (28) to do It.

But don't cryi there's a happy ending to our story. While Jack was washing dishes he notloaB a large pearl that evidently had been left in an oyster shell. Now don't ask ae how he did It. I think it was fine that he could have done It. He put the pearl In his pocket and the next day had It appraised. It proved to be the second largest pearl In the world. That shows indirectly that I'm not lying: I could have said It was the largest.

Well, Jack sold the pearl and with the money he bought Nina a large diamond (10D); and with this diamond he won (A3) her heart (9H) and her hand (show palm of your hand). There's a moral to the story; and that is this; don't worry when you oan't pay your check in a restaurant, because It will all come out in the wash."

The set-up: JS-9S-AC-QD-2H-6D-2D-Joker-Q3-3D-4D-7D-9D-KD-3C-8C-8S-8H-4C-8D-3H-33-JC-6S-JD-9C-7S-5C-5H-AH-AD-10C-10S-10H-6C-6H-QH-2C-QC-7C-JH-4S-KC-53-4H-7H-5D-KH-KS-23-10D-AS-9H.

Sho"' eaoh card or set of cards and then lay them face up on the table. Place eaoh set on the face of the previous set and at the end the deok is still stacked, ready to be cased and used again. For club or stage shows use giant cards.

My deck is numbered in pencil on the baok from one to fifty-three, counting from the top to the face. Then, when the eards are aoolden-tally mixed I can rearrange them without refer-renee to a list. Plaoe all ones in one pile, all tens in another, all twenties in a third, etc., and arrange each pile separately, then assembling into one deok.

If you have difficulty learning the story at first, you can write the key words on the backs of the cards in the marginal white space. Naturally you won't care to learn the story exactly word for word; just learn the puns and get a gist of the continuity — then tell It all in your own words.

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