Womans CODE

Here's a concept that a friend of mine Tyler Durden turned me on to. (Check out the site www.RealSocialDynamics.com ) and David DeAngelo's site ( www.DoubleYourDating.com ).

There are "Sub-communications" being communicated on many different levels. Sure "Value" is one of those levels and of course it is very important to seduction.

Keep in mind that from an evolutionary standpoint, women are hard-wired to respond to men that convey value -this means the guy with the money, resources, social proof, status, prestige, etc... and yes this is just one of the sub-communications that we communicate and that others communicate to us.

Now how can we better understand these sub communications? I think some of the answers can be found in Evolutionary Psychology -Human Mating Strategies.

This has to do with how we've been hard-wired by evolution to select, compete for, and attract mates. Just think, all of us are the products of reproductive success.

This means that we all have it hard-wired in us to know naturally what to do to get laid! It's just a matter of being able to adjust to today's contexts and situations. Those who don't get selected out. (i.e. they don't get laid)

Here are some of the categories and these aren't necessarily what we think of consciously - much of it is unconscious and just kind of forms a "gestalt" and an impression. In other words, this is what the unconscious animal part of us thinks - the part of us that has been selected for by Evolution.

1) Value - The sub-communication is "What will I get out of being with this person?" - This is based on the perception of status, social proof, resources...

For men - either having or having the potential for the accumulation of resources (having characteristics like ambition, intelligence, industriousness etc.)

For women - the physical characteristics of beauty, health, sexual capacity etc. as well as status, etc. that confer a societal value

2) Physical - The sub-communication is "Do they have good genes?" and "Can they protect me?"

I think this is a little different than the sexual communication. For a man interacting with a woman, physical communication is about beauty, youth, health and in evolutionary terms how well she would be able to bear offspring as well as have healthy "genes" -In other words a woman's reproductive capacity. Other than reproductive capacity, an attractive woman also has a positive influence on the social status of a man.

For women interacting with men this type of communication has to do with the ability to protect resources and is a part of security.

The reason why physically strong men are more desirable than weak men is because strength communicates "fitness" and "good genes" as well as the ability to protect accumulated resources.

3) Sexual - The sub communication is "Is this person able to pass the genes down?" - This level of communication I think has to do with the ability to be fertile and to bear offspring.

For men interacting with women, it has to do with the perception that she'll be a good lover, sexual attractiveness which is more likely to lead to orgasm.

For women interacting with men, this has to do with his virility... if he is able to both have and give her an orgasm -thus increasing her chances of conception.

4) The availability of resources - The sub communication is "Is this person likely to share their resources and commit them to only me?"

For women evaluating men this has to do with the likelihood of commitment of resources to her and her offspring. Traits like generosity, kindness, and love make this more likely. Also commitment is important because it equates to security about access to his resources and not having to share them with other potential (or past) mates and offspring. This sub communication is also about trust.

For men evaluating women this has to do with her fidelity, and the likelihood that she will only mate with him, thus increasing his chances of having offspring with her. A promiscuous woman is less attractive to a man as a long term mate, because it means the possibility of allocating resources to offspring that aren't his, as well as having to compete for her resources (sex/sexual reproduction).

Now regarding Sexual Communication, some would say that appearing to "Get it" is enough... however it's not enough for me.

Understanding "Sexual communication" is not enough... you have to actually be able to USE IT! and USE IT WELL!

And this is just one of the sub communication levels that are always present. This is just one aspect of "The Code".

So to bring this from abstract to concrete levels:

1) Be aware of, demonstrate, understand, and communicate the code on a:

- Sexual level

- Value level

- Physical level

- Trust level

The Shadow and the Rising Sun Theme

"You know, I was thinking about something the other day...about polarities... about the whole concept of the Yin and Yang...about hot and cold...black and white...light and darkness. And how opposites are really the same thing...just varying degrees on the same spectrum...of possibilities...and how one is defined in relation to the other...and how there are no absolutes.

And then I remembered something that a Psychologist friend of mine said once...She said, "I have to go feed my shadow"...and I wasn't quite sure what she meant at the time until I read something by Jung. He said that everyone has a Shadow...a dark side...a place of forbidden desires. This is that part of you that you hide from the rest of the world...maybe even from yourself... where you can experience and imagine those... thoughts...the things that you wouldn't want anyone to ever find out that you long for and dream about...where you want to experience all the excitement of this moment...to let go of all the things that had been holding you back before...to just let go... and enjoy all that life has to offer... The Shadow is a good thing, he believed...because it brings a sense of balance.

Now, this sense of balance is very important because the concept that whatever you repress grows and begins to spill over into other parts of your life. If your shadow is repressed it grows and grows...until it just takes you over completely. Jung said it was like the Rising Sun... because in the morning, as the Sun rises in the sky

it gets higher and higher... closer and closer to the highest point in its path (midlife) ...until at mid-day it changes polarity completely... and everything that was once true has now changed...and now the opposite is true... and the sun goes down. This was the concept behind mid-life crisis. (I usually anchor the path of the rising sun with my hand) It's like the more you try to deny your shadow, the more intense your shadow becomes...and the more intense your shadow becomes the more you feel that underlying tension growing within you for it to just come out ...until one day it just takes over completely.

So balance then is a good thing.

Now what if you were to step into your shadow right now, and see the world through the eyes of your shadow... What would that say about the person that you are now vs. who you were before. What is it... that this shadow most wants and desires right now? What do you deserve to enjoy now"

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