One of my favorite posters on both mASF and Mystery's Lounge is jlaix. He's very funny, often irreverant, and has lots and lots of game. His field reports are consistently the most entertaining to read as well, and his latest one doesn't disappoint. I've reposted it here for everyone to enjoy.
So read on and see jlaix vs. the chess club. =) jlaix writes:
Went to the Rio last night. Let me tell you guys, after three days and nights with 26, two Craigs, a J-Dog, Playboy, TD, Papa, and Christophe among others in some very tough venues, I walked into the ole El Rio literally like I owned it. In fact the owner was there at the door as I approached, dude says to the door girl, "This guy is here every week... he doesn't pay." I ignore this and give the door chick $2, I tell her, "That's for YOU."
I walk in with Christophe and my roommate Brion. Take a look around. Dude, this is my home turf and its like a child's toy compared to those loud ass uberclubs we were at during the workshop. Instantly I spot my target, HB ChessClub. This chick is not exceptionally beautiful, she dresses down but with work she could be a high 8. The thing about this chick is that she's always surrounded by at least seven guys, these hipster weirdos who wear Buddy Holly glasses and scarves. We call them The Chess Club cause they look like fuckin dorks. I've talked to the chick briefly before, but she would always get swept off by the Chess Club. Because of this, I was always intimidated to talk to her. Not tonight.
I look at my boys and say, "Watch this. Follow me." And I saunter right up to the Chess Club, push them aside "excuse me!" and go right up to the girl. I say, "I hate you" and stare at her, waiting. She looks all weird and then says, "I know. I'm sorry!" WTF?
I start slamming routines as Brion and Christophe handle the CBs/AMOGs, Brion is particularly effective at this as he is bigger, he engages them, bombards them with logical questions, positions himself between them and me. Then he gets uncomfortably close to them while he's talking so they back up. It's not uncommon for me to look over and see that Brion's pushed an AMOG over to the other side of the fuckin room. So it's going good, she is my little sister, I do
"alternate opposite sex name" and she's calling me Wendy and I'm calling her Rob. She's loving it, my bodylanguage is good, I'm doing a good job of engaging the group. I'm constantly misinterpreting things she says as meaning she wants me, then saying, "Gross! You're my little sister!" When her attention wanders, it's "Hey! Show's over here! Are you multitasking me?" etc. I do trust test and all this other kino shit, then disengage hard with false disqualifiers. Numerous alpha attacks are thrown my way. One guy tries to cut in and I am all over his ass... "Wow dude, that's a nice scarf. I bet you get all the girls with that." BOOM he's deflated. I cut him out of the circle. Nice.
However, Christophe leaves and Brion and I can't handle all ten of these bozos. Sure enough, one of them latches onto the chick and gets her full attention. I keep in the group talking to an UG. Suddenly, my friend Celine appears. I say what's up, then instruct him to occupy the AMOG. He refuses. I pinch his nipple and twist it. "Go bitch!" Celine says, "No. It's over. You lost." I'm like, fuck that shit. I SLAP my friend in the face. I say, "GO!" He says, "No, fuck you! I'm not like you! It's over, can't you see?" I SLAP him again and say, "Fuck that negative shit, nothing is over!" At this point people are looking over, so I pull him away to the bar.
"Dude," I say, "I'm sorry I hit you man. But THAT SET IS MINE and I don't need negative shit from my friends fucking up my state." He's like, "It's ok, you're my friend" and seems cool, but he immediately leaves after that. Fuck, I feel bad.
Now I'm out of the set, but I just go back in with "80s music" opener, using Suzanne Vega's "Luka". I discover that one Chess Club member is really cool and he's into all the same crap music I like, he has on all these buttons for Styx, Air Supply, REO Speedwagon and stuff. I say, "Wow man, I thought you were a total fucking prick, but you're sort of cool. You should come to karaoke on Tuesdays." He agrees, and the target starts getting jealous that I'm not paying attention to her. Ok, cool. I do a takeaway and get another drink.
When I get back from the bar, I see that many more dudes have joined the group, AMOG looking surfer dudes, and I am now all alone. Fuck. I look around, and open a three-set of two girls and a guy, start asking lame questions to the guy and ignore the girl, standard shit. I run the "Best ice cream flavor" bit, then they tell their favorites and I say, "OMG, you have to tell my friends, come on." I drag them over to the Chess Club and get back in set, pawning the three-set off.
So now I'm back in set, but I'm getting mad aggressive rude comments about my appearance and stuff from the dudes. IRRELEVANT. My frame was tight, I just laughed and executed picture perfect AMOG tactics. "I love your shirt man, IZOD fuckin rocks, I used to wear that in high school all the time." "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? No, man, what did you just say to make yourself look cooler than me? Come on, man, I wanna hear this!" "(laughing) You're cool, man, hipster guy, fuckin rocks bro!" "Awesome. You're like my PERSONAL ASSISTANT, dude! Keep the good advice coming! Like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!" Handled. Other AMOGS in the group, I just pre-empted by opening them first and going logical. The target sees all this and is duly impressed.
At one point the target says something which could be interpreted as negative towards me. Now, I already told her that we should "play nice" at this point and drop the ball-busting. So I say, "You're not a good little sister." And turn my back on her. I force myself to not turn back around and it sucks, it was hard, but after like a full minute of torture, the chick is all up in my face again. Awesome, I clearly passed the social hook point. She is chasing me.
The crowd thins out, it's near closing. Turns out this chick is moving to Canada on Saturday. I bust on her for wearing a beanie, I'm like, "IT'S CALLED A TOOK!" I throw my phone at her. She's like, "What's this for?" I say, "We're going to karaoke tomorrow." She seems quite excited about this and I make her put my number in her phone, because, "I don't answer numbers that I don't know, even if it's my friends, so this way you'll know it's me." She's all stoked and shit.
I called her tonight, she answered first ring (credit Craig for the phone game tip) and was really happy to hear from me. Solid game. We're meeting up on Thursday.
LR forthcoming. You can read the mASF thread here.
Posted by Thundercat on 02/25/2004 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack
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