**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/24/03
So some poor soul on the San Diego PLAY list posted a problem to the group asking how you could tell when a girl likes you. Now, being part of the San Diego list, this guy has the advantage of getting advice from the likes of BadBoy and Craig, both of which are two top guys in this little community we have going on here. Craig's advice to the fella, which I don't think he would mind me sharing here, was simply:
"Kiss her and find out."
Short, sweet, and to the point. Typical Craig.
Other than the fact that this is good advice, I think it's important to keep in mind that it's coming from Craig's frame, which is quite different from most people's. Craig is pretty congruent with who he is. He's experienced enough where if he wants to know if a girl likes him, he'll kiss her. However, he doesn't take into account his calibration skills or how drunk he is at the time, both of which are probably important in kissing the girl to guage her interest.
The thing I find funny about this situation is the frame with which most other guys (AFCs in particular) would come at it. I do not think that it's necessarilly important for guys to know where the girl is at in terms of "does she like me or not?" Rather, I think it's important for guys to keep in mind where THEY'RE at when it comes to if she likes them or not.
How different would you approach this situation if you already KNEW that this girl was into you? What if you just simply ASSUMED that she liked you and wanted to sleep with you and everything she was doing was trying to get you into the sack? How would you act? What would you say? What frame would you adopt?
I think this is a vital thing to keep in mind when it comes to seducing a girl. Having the frame of "I know this girl wants me" as opposed to "I wonder if she wants me" is so much more powerful because it puts you in a POWER POSITION. It allows you to say things to her like:
"Stop hitting on me."
"I don't care what you say. I'm not going to sleep with you." "Its pathetic how much you want me."
And any number of other things. And what does having this frame do other than put you in a power position? If its strong enough, it will SUCK HER into the frame where she ACTUALLY wants you. And at that point, the game is over. Pass GO, collect $200, you've won.
I think too many guys get caught up in where the girl is at rather than putting her where they want her. Some of the best guys I've seen pick-up women: Swinggcat, Style, Zan, Craig, Tyler, etc -- they all set the frame where the girl wants them. They set the frame where THEY decide if the girl is good enough. Its a funny little mind game, but one that is incredible to behold.
For instance, Papa sets some of the most powerful frames I've ever seen. He is masterful at it, to the point of being psychotic -- simply because he does it so naturally. I often times have to watch myself when I'm around him because if I'm not careful, he'll suck me right into whatever frame he sets. Its amazing to behold, and probably one of the reasons so many guys see him as a good PUA. I've learned a lot from Papa, mostly just from hanging out with the guy and observing what he's doing.
I've discussed the subject of Frames many times with Swinggcat as well. Obviously, "Frames" is not a new thing in the seduction arena, but the way Swingg lays them out in his book in terms of Frames and MetaFrames is a real eye opener, because it gives you a sense of just how powerful they can be.
So how do you set these frames?
I think it was the legendary Rick H. who once said "If you say anything with enough conviction, people will believe you." Its as simple as that. It doesn't matter if you believe what you're saying or not (though it helps), but if you say it with enough conviction, others will accept it and go along with whatever reality is presented to them.
Swinggcat often tells me stories about his friend "Albino Gary Coleman," who is basically a con artist. He says he will lie to people to get what he wants, and sometimes he will get caught in the lie. But instead of copping to the truth, what he'll do is make up an even BIGGER more OUTRAGEOUS lie, never backtracking from what he said before, and suddenly a new frame is set and the person who caught him lying is once again mislead, all because he sticks to his tall tales so steadfastly and congruently, with no hesitation or doubt whatsoever.
That's the power of frames. It is evil Jedi-Mind trick shit.
Please use it for good.
Posted by Thundercat on 02/04/2004 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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