Ah, you gotta love Carly. Her blog PORNBLOGRAPHY is one of the wittiest, funniest, and smartest things I've ever seen associated with porn (with the exception of "Perversions 5," that is). This week, Carly's gotten especially devious in a very TD-esque way when a friend of hers invited her to go to a "HurryDate" event (a SpeedDating sort of thing where people get 1 minute to meet each other and decide if they want to go out).
Anyway, here's the breakdown:
I elected to turn the evening into an experiment of sorts. I decided that I would
Thundercat's Seduction Lair: February 2004
tell every one of my suitors that I worked in porn, while Adella would refrain from any mention of it. The end result, of course, would be for us to see how many people picked each of us based on that.
So here's how her experiment went:
Him: So what do you do for a living? Me: PR for porn. Him: (Pause.) Really? Me: Yes.
Him: Does the porn industry really need PR?
Me: Can you name me the last movie Jenna Jameson released?
Me: There's your answer.
Him: I don't know whether or not to believe you.
Me: What, you think I'd make this shit up?
Him: Well, I dunno... I met you, what. Two seconds ago?
Me: Believe me, if I were going to make something up, it would be something that didn't include decoding industry terminology such as ATOGM.
Him: What's that?
Me: Never mind.
Him: I work in entertainment. What do you do?
Me: I work in entertainment as well.
Him: Oh yeah? What facet?
Me: The blue facet.
Him: (Whispering.) Adult?
Him: Wow, that's interesting. What do you do? Me: Just blow job movies.
Him: (Long pause, face starts to flush.) So. you're. a porn star? Me: Yep.
Him: (Sitting back in his chair.) Really?!
Him: (Somewhat dejected.) Oh.
Ha ha ha. I like this last one. Carly, being the hot chick she is, really knows how to fuck with guys, especially when it comes to dangling "the sex" before them.
Him: So what do you do for a living? Me: PR for porn. Him: Really?
Me: Why does everyone think I'm making that up? Him: Well, it's not something you run into every day. Me: It is if you live in the Valley. Him: Good point. So how'd you get into that?
Me: Total fluke. I answered a job posting for AVN, and then I went to work for Metro as their publicist. Ron Jeremy is their contract boy. Him: Ron Jeremy... man. Does that guy still do porno? Me: Kinda. He tries, at least.
Him: He's gotta be the ugliest guy I've ever seen. He's, like, the Penguin from
Me: (Gales of laughter.)
Now this guy seems to have gotten it. Nice little Cocky/Funny play. He's the only one Carly seemed to like.
Him: And you? Me: I work in porn. Him: Doing what? Me: PR.
Him: Tell me about fetishes.
Me: What about them?
Him: What kinds are there?
Him: Well, like, what kind of fetishes have you seen?
Me: Foot, natural breast, young girls.
Him: No, like weird ones.
Me: I don't know that I find anything that weird anymore. I'm incredibly jaded now. Even the video I had to review that featured a naked chick rubbing herself with balloons for an hour doesn't seem that strange anymore.
Him: What about those people who dress up in costume. Me: Oh, furries? Him: Yeah!
Me: That's so last year.
Him: (Spilling his drink all over the table.) Oh damn... hey, I got you wet! Ha! Get it?
This sounds like my last attempt at a Pick-Up. =) Him: So what do you do for work?
Me: Porn for PR. No, wait, that came out wrong. PR for porn. Him: Do you get dental with that?
Me: What, did you just finish watching Grosse Pointe Blank? TWEET!
Him: So are you entrepreneurial in nature? Me: You could say that. I work for myself. Him: Doing what? Me: Porno PR.
Him: Really? Wow, that's adventurous. I'm adventurous too. In fact, I at one time considered getting into the industry myself. As a performer. Me: Uh. huh.
Him: Really, because my adventurous nature-Me: (Silently praying for the whistle to blow...)
Hmmm. Sounds like someone's been studying SS.
Him: So how's your night going so far? Me: Really well, actually, and yours? Him: I'm having fun.
Me: That's good. What's the strangest question you've been asked so far tonight? Him: I haven't had any strange questions. Me: Do you do anal?
Me: Y'know, give or receive?
Him: Ahh... I guess it would depend on the woman?
HAHAHAHA... wow, what a state-breaking question. I love how Carly just runs the show in her interactions with people. What a great example of controling the underlying meaning of an interaction. Carly really DOESN'T care about getting together with these guys. She's coming from a power position, and they're all supplicative AFCs. The only one who seems to have passed the mustard was the guy who poked fun at Ron Jeremy, but I don't think he really created any attraction.
The cardnal sin these guys committed was that they asked her questions. They let her set the frame by getting wrapped up in the porno end of things. Can you imagine what would have happened if one of these guys sat down and asked HER if she does anal? And then acted unimpressed by the fact she worked in porn and bypassed the subject to things HE wanted to talk about? That's what it comes down too.
I'm very guilty of falling into the "question asking" phase of dealing with a woman. I think Juggler said it best when he stated "You only have a certain ammount of questions in the bank with a girl. Once you go into debt, it's over." So you gotta use your questions wisely, and never ask questions that allow her to set the frame of the interaction.
You can read the whole thread of Carly's adventures in dating here.
Posted by Thundercat on 02/19/2004 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack
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