The first type of PRIZING or coquetting we are going to discuss is the art of building interest in a person, and then amplifying that interest by taking away the very thing that interested her in the first place.
Some of you guys might be familiar with the hypnotic technique of fractionation: For example, getting a woman interested in something and then taking it away, and then getting her more interested by giving it back. I am doing this, but l am also doing more.
I am also building massive interest just in virtue of taking away the very thing that interests her. This hooks her on an EMOTIONAL IeveI.
I guess this is the art of giving the gift of not giving or maybe this should be called "advanced techniques in being an Indian giver".
One of my favourite techniques for doing this is called 'open loops' (this is something that--whether they are aware of it or not--almost every guy l know who is good with women uses).
So what is an open loop?
An open loop is anything that is an unfinished thought, story, emotion, or feeling. Let me give you an example: Have you ever been watching a movie, and just when you were about to find out what happened the movie ended, insinuating that if you wanted to find out what happened you were going to have to wait for the sequel to come out?
But l bet that most of you saw the sequel. Why? Because by not finishing the story, not telling you what happened, your interest--at the very least: finding out what happened--grew exponentially. On a rational, intellectual level, you knew that whether or not you found out what happened, did not really matter. But on an emotional, irrational level, you were compelled to find out what happened.
So, open loops are a form of PRIZING because they can emotionally charge a woman to the point that she is chasing us. Okay, let's get started.
Conversational open loops:
This is the most straightforward type of open loop and quite powerful. Let me give you an example, and then we will break down what is going on: Imagine that a woman asks you a trite question, such as, "how are you today?" Now you could respond by saying "good" but this would probably not generate much interest. Why? Because it is a complete thought (side note: forget everything your teachers ever taught you about making complete thoughts--at least in the world of seduction and persuasion. It is more powerful to make incomplete thoughts and leave people hanging).
If you recently returned from travelling, a better response to her question might be, "bad". She would probably respond by saying, "Why?" which you could respond by saying, "well l just got back to the States" (note: I am from the States, but you could say you got back to wherever it is that you are from). From here she will probably ask where you were travelling. I would say something like, "I was in Europe" (notice l am not specific about where l was in Europe because l want her to keep asking me questions: such as, 'where were you travelling in Europe?'). Then l might just start talking about travelling in Europe. Moreover she will listen intently. Why?
Well, one reason is that by refraining from answering her question in a complete way-- I am only answering her question in a partial or vague way-- I am exponentially increasing her emotional interest making her compelled to ask me more questions. This is a form of PRIZING or her emotionally chasing me.
Two is that (listen closely: this is important) I am utilizing the psychological principle, which Robert Cialdini calls "commitment and consistency": that is, whatever a person commits to, they will usually be consistent with. So, when you get a person to ask you a question about something, they are verbally committing--to both themselves and to you--to being interested in what you are saying. Put in other words, by asking you questions, they are inadvertently buying into the frame that you have something interesting they want to know about. Even if l tell them stories about Europe that are genuinely boring, they are likely going to find them interesting because they have already bought into the frame that my stories are interesting. Likewise, if l did not set the frame of my stories being interesting, and just launched into a fascinating story, they might get bored quickly.
"Something about them" open loops:
Women—or people for this matter love hearing about themselves. But what is the one thing that is even more emotionally intriguing to a woman? When someone knows something about them and refrains from telling them what it is. Now telling a woman that you know something about her, and then refraining from telling what it is, is one of quickest ways of getting a woman so emotional that she begins to chase you. Not only is this a form of PRIZING a woman, but also is a way of making her buy into the meta-frame that you are the one who is the PRIZE in the interaction. This is very powerful and drives women crazy.
What l like to do is while telling a woman a story l will say something like: 'I bet you like attention', or 'I bet you were a daddy's girl' (Here l am using some of the stuff l talked about in the chapter on cold reading). Then l will resume my story. Now if l have peaked their interest, they will interrupt me. If l haven't, I will just keep making comments like this until they bite the bait. When they bite the bait, they will be thinking to themselves: what does he mean by that? (This is great because it gets them interested on an EMOTIONAL IeveI). When they bite the bait, they will interrupt me with, "What do you mean by that?"
I usually will retort with something like, "didn't your mom teach you any manners: it rude to interrupt someone while they are speaking. But l know this because you remind me of my...well l will tell you later" and then l resume telling the rest of my story. This builds so much interest it is not even funny. This is PRIZING at its best.
She wants to tell you something interesting open loop:
Sometimes it can be quite effective to defer a woman from telling you something. Sometimes when l am on the phone with a woman and she wants to tell me something l will say, "I am busy right now, why don't you tell me when we get together". This is very effective and has the same power as the other types of open loops. But with this type of open loop, by refraining from listening to what she wants to tell you, you are building her emotional desire to want to tell you. The stronger the emotional desire becomes, the more she will be compelled to try to tell you.
Also, by you deferring her from telling you something, you are partially invalidating her. Emotionally this makes her more compelled to revalidate herself by telling you. This implicates the meta-frame: that you are the PRIZE and that she is trying to win you over--in the sense of trying to get your validation.
This is a very powerful form of PRIZING--indeed! Numerical open loops:
Tell a girl there are three things that you look (or don't look) for in another girl. Only tell her two. When she asks for the third tell her she is impatient and that she needs patients. Now she will think to herself: Is it that l need patient or is it that "patients" is the third thing he is looking for. By being ambiguous she begins to emotionally dwell on if she fits your standards. Without even knowing it she is buying into our meta-frame.
Have you ever been trying tell someone about something or explain something to someone, and instead of them asking questions, they just were completely impassive and silent? Did you feel a bit confused to whether they agreed with you or not, or whether they understood you or not? Maybe this has happened to you, maybe it hasn't. But the fact is that most people feel this way when a person does this to them. Often times this confusion has a powerful emotional affect that compels them to try to explain themselves further, try and get the other person to agree with, and try to get the other person's approval.
This can be very powerful to do to women because when you make a woman emotionally compelled to explain herself further, try to get you to a agree with her or get your approval she is chasing you. Put in other words, you are PRIZING her.
Getting them to say "what":
This is one of my all time favorites. When you are talking to them, respond to something they say by saying, "you're such a girl".
Chicks will almost always respond with "what?".
Of course the right response to this is to make smirk and then turn your head away from them.
This can emotionally frustrate girls, but in a good way. It's the kind of emotional frustration that can lead to them chasing us.
A powerful form of PRIZING is building interest in a person, and then amplifying that interest by taking away the very thing that interested her in the first place.
One way to do this is to use open loops. Open loops are great tools for both getting women so emotionally charged that they chase us, and getting them to buy into our meta-frame.
Over the next week, pick two of the open loops and incorporate them into your interactions with women. Also, think of how you can incorporate open loops into stories you have come up with on your own.
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