Have you ever noticed how some guys are able to approach a complete female stranger and within a few minutes have her laughing and having a great time? Now the weird thing is that some of these guys are fat, poor, bald, and old.
On other end of the spectrum there are guys who do not yet have the ability to approach a complete female stranger and have her laughing within a few minutes (don't worry if you fall into this second category--I know l used to). The funny thing is that many of the guys who fall into this category are rich, young, and handsome. For some of these guys the idea of approach a complete female stranger is scarier than swimming in tank full of sharks. For others, they are able to approach women, yet always seem to reap a negative response from them.
One thing that is obvious is that looks, money, and success do not solely determine how a woman is going to react to a man when he approaches her. I think that the majority of what it comes down to is skilI. This skill is so damn important because women will judge and test how PRIZABLE you are by how you go about meeting them. Thus, knowing how to approach women is a huge part of PRIZABILITY.
When l talk about "meeting women" I am talking about doing cold approaches. This means approaching women who you have never met before and have not been introduced to you through a mutual friend. There are really two parts to cold approaches: initiating and conversational opening.
Initiating is not opening up a conversation with a woman but getting her attention.
Now some guys will initiate contact with a woman by saying something like: "You are so beautifuI. What's your name?"
This is bad and displays lack of PRIZABILITY. Let's look at the reasons "why".
One is that by calling the girl "beautiful" you are assuming the frame that she is the PRIZE (remember, we want to do the opposite of this).
Two is that by asking the girl her name, you are showing interest in her and thereby assuming that she is the PRIZE (general rule: when first meeting a girl it is always best to not ask questions. Just talk and she will start asking questions. Questions assume that she is interested in you and what you have to say. Put in other words, it assumes that you are more PRIZABLE than her. However, once she begins asking you questions it can be powerful to start asking her questions we will talk more about this when we get to the chapter on rapport).
A good initiator DISPLAYS all of the right things and does not give her control of the meta-frame: It does not send out the messages that she is the PRIZE, you want her acceptance, and that you are willing to work really hard to get her in the sack.
Here is one of my favorite initiators, which is very money indeed. "You hurt me" initiator:
When l am at a bar l have been known to stick out my elbow really far. This makes it likely that a girl will mistakenly graze my elbow. When this happens I say in a whiny voice: "Ow, you hurt me". Usually they will start laughing. Once in a while you will get a slow one who will profusely apologize. In this case, I say: "I hope you have a good lawyer because l am suing you". They usually will bust up laughing and say, "stop" while lightly hitting you or pushing you. In this case you should follow up with: "You are quite touchy, I think l am also going to have to sue you for sexual harassment". At this point they will be laughing really hard.
This works because you are conveying that you do not need her acceptance. Instead, you are demonstrating in a funny way that you care less about the outcome. Parading that you care less about the outcome or what the women thinks of you is one of the best ways to display to a woman that you are the PRIZE.
"Did he call yet" initiator:
Cell phones have become so popular that it is quite common to see hot women checking their cell phones in bars. A great thing to do that catches women by surprise, is as they are checking their cell phones say to them: "Did he call yet?"
This always reaps a good laugh and frames her behaviours as being a bit needy. This implicates our meta-frame:
1. That you are the PRIZE.
2. That she is trying to get you to like her or trying to win you over--whether it be in the sense of attraction, acceptance or validation.
3. That she wants you so bad that she is trying to make you sleep with her.
4. The both of you are going to sleep together, but only if she lives up to your standards and expectations.
Just think, within in a few seconds of talking to a woman, you can already begin to set the meta-frame with her.
Conversational opening means opening up a conversation with a woman (or group of women). I have found that one of the easiest ways to open up conversations with women is to get their opinion on something (now l told you that it is usually bad to ask questions within the first few minutes of meeting a woman. And l still maintain this. But this is the one exception. I say this because this is a fantastic method of opening and initiating conversations with women).
By the way, conversational openers can also be used as initiators.
To really make conversational openers work you need to convey, at first, that all you want is her opinion, and that you have no interest in even being friends with her. So be aware of your body language. If your body language is conveying that you really want to be liked and accepted, women will pick up this. Women are in tune with this stuff.
Okay, onto some great opinion conversational openers to use on women. The cheating roommate opinion:
Say to a woman (or women): "I want your opinion on something...a friend of mine was suspicious that her roommate was sleeping with her boyfriend. So, she went through her roommates diary...and low and behold, she was right...her roommate was sleeping with her boyfriend...So, the question is...should she confront her roommate or not?"
This conversational opener is great because women, as we know, love gossip and drama. Once you get them started on this, they will not shut up.
The pug/beagle opinion:
I started using this opener a few months ago. This is probably my favorite opener because people always get really excited about it. So, her it is.
Say to woman (or women): "How well do you guys know eighties pop music? (If they look young, ask them how well they know nineties pop music)...good, because my friend just got a pug and a beagle dog...the pug is a boy and the beagle is a girI. She wants to name them after an eighties pop duo...So, I am trying to come up with names? I was thinking Sonny and Cher because Sonny looks like a pug and Share looks like a beagle but they were in the seventies...Or how bout Prince and Carmen EIectra? No, that won't work because Prince looks more like a Chihuahua than a Pug. So, girls, I need some names for the dogs."
I don't know why but this conversational opener is pure gold. I guess part of the reason is that women love both pets and music--go figure.
Women will judge you on how you go about approaching them. For this reason, approaching is a big part of PRIZABILITY. There are two parts to the approach: initiating and conversationally opening. Initiating is getting a woman's attention. Conversational opening is getting into a conversation with a woman. Homework:
This exercise is more intended for men who are just starting out. If you do not have difficulty when it comes to approaching women, feel free to skip this homework.
Go to a bar or some place where there is lots of women. Try both the initiators and the conversational openers. See if you can use these twelve times in one night. It is okay to go up to women, do the initiator or conversational opener, and then eject. Reason being, the point of the exercise is only to do the initiator or conversational opener. If you find yourself in a conversation with a woman, good for you. But if you don't, don't worry.
After you feel comfortable doing twelve conversational openers in one night, you are ready to sit down and come up with your own initiators and conversational openers. Some of the best material you will find for conversational openers is in women's magazines, such as, Cosmo. So, when you are ready to start coming up with your own openers, go out and buy a few women's magazines.
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This basically means that you should enjoy your dates more. Aside from that, you should also view dating as something that can offer you an opportunity to meet new people and socialize. Moreover, it can also offer you a potential to finding someone whom you can build a relationship with.