I have some friends who arrogantly claim to know women better than women know themselves. Furthermore, they are really good at convincing women of this. But here is the weird thing: Women love it!
Reason being, many women love the idea of being with a man who knows them mentally and physically better than they do--it makes them wet in their panties.
Cold reading is an extremely powerful tool for doing this.
Some of you might be wondering what the hell "cold reading" is. Cold reading is reading people without having any prior information about them. This is what psychics and palm readers do.
Do you have to be endowed with psychic powers to use this stuff? Hell no. If you needed to have real psychic powers to do this stuff, then the psychic network would be out of business.
So how does a person learn to cold read?
The nuts and bolts of cold reading:
The first step is to realize that although women would like to think that they are unique from one another--and l do think they are unique in some aspects--they all share many similarities.
Once l began to realize that women share many similarities, I realized that l could use generalizations to describe a woman's inner psyche. Now the weird thing was this: Not only did women think l was accurate with my cold reading when l used these generalizations, but they rarely every pegged me as using generalizations. In fact, they labeled me as someone who had powerful psychic abilities for pointing out the unique person they thought they were. I think the reason this works is that people's vanity about being unique prevents them from realizing that you are using generalizations.
But there are a couple other tricks to making truisms and generalizations come across as unique to the woman you are talking to.
One of these tricks is being vague. Now you might be thinking: If l am vague, aren't people going to be on to me? Or, Aren't they going to know what l am up to?
But this is not usually the case. In fact, most people find vague things more profound.
Also, when you are vague, people will fill in the details on their own. Albeit, their minds will assume it was you who told them all of the details. I guess being vague is the lazy man's way to cold reading people: you make them do all the work.
A powerful way of being vague is talking in terms of parts or sides of a woman. Let's look at some different ways to do this.
1. Talk about how there is a side of them that is one way, but there is another side of them that is its opposite. For example, here is one l love to use on girls: "You have such a little girI's smile; it is so innocent. But l can tell from your eyes that you have a sinister side to you".
2. Talk about how at times they can be one way, while at others they can be the contrary way. For example, I sometimes say to chicks: "I can tell that you are someone who at times does not take chances, and sometimes you want to shoot yourself in the foot because you did not have the courage to try something new...But other times you are adventurous and do take chances...And this is when you have the best time because this is the real you".
3. Talk about how on the outside they're one way, while of the inside they are another way. So, for example, I have said to chicks: "You know what: You put on this whole act of being tough, but on the inside, you are really sensitive". If the woman puts up a tough exterior, she probably is sensitive. Many people--and especially girls--who act tough on the outside are really sensitive. If it's true about them, follow it up by telling them that you can relate because you are that way too. This builds comfort, rapport, and a bond between you and her. Now you might want to solidify the bond by telling her a story about why you are this way too (In the next chapter—the one on storytelling—I will share my story about my grandmother who taught me how to be a man. This story is a great follow up to this cold read).
4. Talk about how they appear one way but in fact they really are the opposite way. For example, I might say: "I bet a lot of people think you are really mature, but l know better. I can tell from (say eyes...or because of some expression she makes) that you are really just a little girI".
AIso, always substantiate or tie in your reading to a reason. So the formula you want to follow is: you X because you Y.
Now what l like to do is tie the reading to something about their current body language, or about the way they dress, or about something they say, or about an expression they make.
So, for example, I might say to a woman: "You have great energy but there is a part of you that is emotionally closed and l know this because you are standing with your arms crossed making sure no one gets emotionally inside of you".
Another thing l love to say to women who are a slightly closed off, have their arms crossed, and are not really in the moment, is this: "there are really two types of people in this world: observers and actors. And l can tell by the way you carry yourself that you are an observer. You might even be one of those people watchers...and l know this because your arms are crossed and you are slightly leaning back. But l will tell you something...! bet you are truly happy when you can just let go and be in the moment...right?"
If you do this in the right way and it is true about her, she will really enjoy this observation and she will think of you as having some unusual powers (can we say PRIZABILITY?). In reality you knew this because you made some simple observations.
This leads into another important point: really start observing people. Don't just say the same things to every girI. If you really do observe them a bit, they will think you are a fucking psychic.
So my advice is to always have lots of canned cold reading material in your back pocket to pull out at any time. This does not mean that you will use it on every woman you talk to. Instead it will enable you to observe and pick up on when this is true about the specific woman you are talking to.
A few words on gimmicks:
There are more than a few ways to set an appropriate context for a cold reading. One of these ways is by using a gimmick. For example, some guys like to use palmistry for cold reading. Although l personally have never really gotten into palmistry, I think it is great because you are touching the woman--you are holding her hand. And when you touch a woman in this way it often times assumes rapport. AIso you are getting her comfortable with your touch-not a bad thing!
I also have friends of mine who have had great success using things like tarot cards and ruin caste stones.
However, I generally don't use these things because l do not like having to carry something around with me. This is probably due to me being the sort of person that often times looses stuff.
AIso, I personally don't like using visible props because l risk coming across to women as both using a crutch and trying too hard--both not good This is why, if l must use a gimmick, I usually will use visualization games (these are games that entail you asking a person to visualize a bunch of stuff. The way they visualize it, reveals stuff about their personality very powerful indeed!).
I like these games--although l think over using them can be a crutch too--because they set a context for cold reading without you having to carry around a palpable crutch. If you are interested in visualization games, one book l highly recommend is "Secrets of the Cube" by Annie Gottlib.
However, I must say that l am to the point now where l rarely feel the need to use any sort of gimmick when it comes to cold reading. After talking to a woman for as little as a few minutes, I can successfully cold read her without using any gimmicks. After a while, you will probably get to the same point. AIso, don't become obsessed with cold reading. It is just one piece of the puzzle and, in and of it self, wont get you laid. So, although cold reading is powerful, it is more powerful to use it sparingly, than over doing it (this is actually good advice with anything: if you do it to much, you risk coming across as parading or trying too hard--bad thing!).
AIso, you do not want women to view you as their own personal psychic, therapist, or circus monkey.
So, just do enough to start building rapport and PRIZABILITY. When you start to sense that she thinks that you really know her--possibly more than she knows herself--or that she wants you to tell her more, take it away. This will make her view you as being even more powerful (we will talk more about this when we get to the chapter on Open loops & Take-aways).
Cold reading is reading a person without having any prior knowledge of them. AIthough women are unique in certain aspects, they share many similarities. This is why truisms and generalities can be applied to most women. The reason few women will realize you are using truisms and generalities is because their own vanity makes them think that what you are saying is unique to only them.
AIso be vague. This makes you sound more profound, and leads to the woman asking you question, which is actually a sign that she is intrigued. You can be vague by talking about parts and sides of her. For example, you could say, "You look innocent but there is a part you that is very mischievous".
AIways tie your cold reading into a reason. For example, you can say, "I can tell that you are the sort of person that likes to observe what is going on because you have your arms crossed and you are leaning back".
Gimmicks give you a nice context to cold read. However, it is always best to cold read without gimmicks.
Get out a piece of paper and write down a list of things that are true about most women. Then review them several times. Now guys, as l have noted, I am not an advocate of men spouting a memorized list of things to a woman--this is certainly not what cold reading is about. Furthermore, I have witnessed men trying to do this to no avaiI. But when you rehearse a list of generalities and truisms, and then you go out and make an effort to really observe women, you will find yourself genuinely noticing women having certain traits from the list you rehearsed (in the same way that if you bought a red car, you would start noticing all of the other red cars on the road). If you do this, you will come across to women as a man who genuinely observes and reads women. However, I should note that the only way to get really good at cold reading women is start interacting with lots of them. This means setting aside time for getting away from your computer to go out and meet women.
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