When l was younger l was always under the impression that women assessed a man's worth by the value of the things he possessed: his looks, his clothes, his car, his house, etc. But then in college l came into contact with a man who had none of these things: he was old, ugly, bald, poor, and neither owned a car nor a house. However, hot women were always befriending him, flirting with him, calling him, and sleeping with him. This was not just something he told me. I saw with my own eyes hot women dashing up to him and embracing him with giant bear hugs, Iustfully admiring him, and then begging him to go on a date with them. Often times, he would slowly look them directly in the eyes and calmly utter, "No". Then they would try to persuade him why he should go out with them. Once again, he would slowly look into their eyes, cock one eyebrow, and calmly utter, "No". This really frustrated women, but was fascinating to watch. At first l did not understand what was going on. I even contemplated him being a drug dealer. But what l did not realize at the time was that he was doing certain things that conveyed to women that he was the PRIZE. Since then, I have encountered several men who also have certain attributes or do certain things conveying that they are the PRIZE to women. Let's take a look at some of these attributes.
Taking a Strong Lead:
These men are not afraid to take a strong lead. Most hot women are turned on by a strong dominant male lead. Women will often times try to take control of the lead to test how sure of himself a man is. If they discover that he is unsure of himself or has a weak sense of self, they will often times run the other way or walk all over him. Nonetheless, this is a sure way to loose a woman. When we talk about frames, we will explore techniques for keeping in control of the lead.
Having high standards:
This is a big part of what makes these sorts of men the PRIZE. I think these men are doing two things to convey to women that they have high standards. Firstly, they are conveying through their attitudes and behaviours to women the belief that most women already want to sleep with them. Secondly, they are letting women know that they will not sleep with them if they fall short of their expectations, standards, and rules.
Will some women think these sorts of men are arrogant, demanding, and snobby?
Yes, but there is a part deep down inside most women that love when men act this way. However, few will ever admit that it exists.
I think the reason most women love when a man acts this way is that it conveys to them that he is used to being treated as the PRIZE. Put in other words, it makes them think that he is used to being courted, gamed, and chased by women.
Making her come into their world:
When most men are interested in a woman they make the mistake of coming into her world. Let me give you an all too familiar example of this. Imagine that there is a guy who tries to invite a girl out with him, and the girl counters by saying that she already has plans to go to her friend's party, but that she would love for him to tag along. When the guy arrives at the party, he knows no one and the girl is surrounded by both guys and girls giving her lots of attention.
The problem with this scenario is that unless the guy is very skilled at PRIZING, the girl will end up taking the lead, which, as we have learned, is a bad thing because women are attracted to men who take a strong lead, not the other way around.
Plus, this guy has extra work cut out for himself: he must prove himself to her friends. Thus, this is not the ideal environment for bringing out his most PRIZABLE attributes.
So, if you want her to see you as the PRIZE, make sure you take her into your world. Take her around people who already love and admire you. In these social situations you will not have to try hard to prove yourself to others because they already love you. This will allow the most PRIZABLE attributes of your personality to flourish. Also, your friends loving and admiring you will validate in her eyes that you are the PRIZE.
So remember, men who are the PRIZE do not go into her world but make her come into their world. In other words, they make her play on their battlefield (note: this only applies to the first couple times these guys hang out with a girI. If they have been seeing a girl for a while, and refuse to ever go into her world, she will perceive them as being insecure-bad thing!).
Making her accommodate them:
Most women that l know have told me that they are turned off by men who try too hard at accommodating them. I think what happens when a man does this is that he comes across as desperate and approval seeking. Many of us know of guys who when out with a woman will become very self-conscious about things such as: whether or not she likes the music they are playing in their cars, or whether or not she likes the way they dress. The problem is that when guys spend lots energy either caring about what a woman thinks of them, or trying to accommodate her, she will pick up on it. Women have some weird intuitive ability for picking up on men's insecurities. Even if a man acts confident, but is dwelling on accommodating her and caring about what she thinks of him, she will smell his insecurities a mile away.
As we already know, being insecure, desperate, and approval seeking, is not the best way to get women to see you as the PRIZE.
So, what is my suggestion: stop caring so much about accommodating women.
Emulate the actions of men who are the PRIZE by making women accommodate you. Put in better words, do things that make women court, pursue, and chase you. If you are thinking to yourself, "this all sounds great, but how do I 'actually' get a woman chasing me?" don't worry because you are in luck: showing you the exact steps to getting a woman to chase you is exactly what this book is about.
AImost all hot women like a man who can challenge them in the right way. Challenging a woman combines taking a strong lead, having standards, taking her into your world, keeping her toes, taking her on an emotional roller coaster, and making her accommodate you (we will spend quite a bit of time on the art of challenging later on).
Having a sense of humor:
In lceberg SIim's book 'Pimp' he says, "A Pimp is happy when his whores giggle. He knows they are asleep".
Now just to let you know, I do not endorse being a pimp, and l do not view women as whores.
However, I think SIim's point is a powerful one. Whenever, a man gets a woman laughing, she feels comfortable. What this means is that she stops judging and analyzing every move he is making, and her defenses go down. This makes it much easier to take a strong lead, get what you want, and make her chase you.
Humor also shows that you neither take yourself nor the interaction too seriously; and seriousness is the death of good PRIZING.
Furthermore, one of the sexiest nonphysical qualities women find in men is humor. In fact, there are numerous examples of women falling hard for men who they physically were not attracted to, yet found their sense of humor to be irresistible.
So, if you can learn to do what l teach in a way that gets women laughing, you are more than on your way to becoming the sort of man women try to win over.
If a person comes across as too perfect, women will often times loath him. Maybe this is because he makes women feel insecure? Maybe this is because, since humans are fallible by nature, he comes across as fake and disingenuous? I don't know.
Nonetheless, I have found it useful to reveal some vulnerability or weakness within the first few hours of meeting a woman. What l like to do when PRIZING a woman is to tell her a couple of things about myself, which reveal a weak or vulnerable side of me.
Displaying costly signals:
Recently l was reading a book authored by the lsraeli evolutionary biologist Amotz Zahavi called "The handicap principaI". In the book he argues that the alpha males of many species of animals advertise or give off certain signals to females letting them know that they are fit for survivaI, and, thus, worthy of being a mating partner. But according to Zahavi, many of these signals are not the advertising of characteristics that are conducive to survivaI. Instead, they are signals that are the advertising of characteristics, which hinder one from surviving. But, the message to females is: despite having these characteristics l can still survive.
So, how does this apply to PRIZING women?
WelI, as male humans, mating is an essential part of our genetic survivaI. This is probably why males typically exploit every opportunity to mate with attractive females. Likewise, the less opportunities a male has to mate, the more needy he becomes about mating when an opportunity comes along.
However, the man who is indifferent or turns down a possible opportunity to mate with an attractive women, is putting out the signaI: Despite the fact that l am not mating with you, my genes will still survive because l have so many other opportunities to mate with other attractive women.
In my experience giving off this vibe to women is extremely powerful and a big part of conveying the message of being the PRIZE.
They are comfortable with themselves:
Women like men who are comfortable in there own skin. Some suggestions.
One is that you should get really comfortable around hot women.
I know many guys who only spend time with women they are sleeping with.
The problem with this is that unless a guy is really good at PRIZING, he is not going to be hanging around many hot women, meaning he is probably not going to be comfortable with himself around them.
So, what l suggest you guys do is befriend five hot women.
Do not hit on them; just be friends with them.
These women will teach you more about meeting women than any course you take or book you read on the subject--not from what they tell you, but from analyzing the subtext of their communication, and from observing their behavioural patterns.
Being a Dandy:
In Robert Green's excellent book, Art of Seduction, he talks about how women find dandy's--men who have a feminine charm--to be irresistible. I think he is right about this.
AImost every person l know who is good with women, is very masculine, yet has a certain feminine charm.
Now before you guys go out and buy a skirt (although this might work; glam rockers used to get laid quite a bit doing this), Iet me be more specific.
Women find men irresistible who have a feminine sense of style and humor, are attentive to details that only women notice, and judge women in the way that women judge men. Now if this is not completely clear yet, don't worry. We are going to chat more about this and how to manifest these traits later on. If you want some examples of Dandy's in show biz, Iook at Prince or Rudolf Valentino (they are/were feminine, yet have/had a very masculine side to them).
Being a coquette:
Face it boys: Most women love drama. If they didn't, most soap operas would have been canceled long ago--men just don't watch these awful shows, unless they're gay. But by 'drama' I do not mean that women pride themselves on having all of the horrible things happen to them that happen in the soap operas. What l am saying is that women enjoy being around people--and especially men--who take them on an emotional roller coaster. This means being with a man who can both, make them feel an array of different emotions--sadness, happiness, excitement, etc.--and can, Iike a good roller coaster, be unpredictable and keep them in suspense.
So what sort of man does this? This is the sort of man who at one minute shows interest in a woman and the next minute acts as if he doesn't know her. This is the sort of man who at one moment makes her feel sad and the next moment has her rolling on the floor laughing. Put simply, this is about being a coquette. This is about Pushing & Pulling, which will be discussed in the third section of this book.
Being a Rake:
The word 'rake' is derived from the word 'rakehelI', which means the person who rakes the coals of helI. So, it is not surprising that the type of seducer 'rake' is someone who offers women adventure and danger. Like the coquette, he is a master at creating an emotional roller coaster for a woman in that she can never tell what he is going to do next: he keeps her on her toes, and in suspense. So, if you are a woman reading this, I am talking about the 'bad boy': the guy who is a little unstable, unpredictable, and yet, you find him strangely arousing.
Furthermore, he presents women with a paradox. He is committed to pleasuring women (albeit, he is not committed to pleasuring or loving any woman in particular). This can simultaneously be both alluring and confusing to a woman because he is sending mixed signals. We will discuss the power of mixed signals in the chapter on Pushing & Pulling.
Some of the qualities of men who are the PRIZE are:
1. Taking a strong lead
2. Having Standards
3. Making her come into your world
4. Making her accommodate you
5. Being challenging
6. Having a sense of humor
7. Being vulnerable
8. Displaying costly signals
9. Being comfortable with yourself
10. Being a Dandy
11. Being a Rake
12. Being a Coquette
Pick two of these qualities. Spend the next week really internalizing them. Then write down in a journal how differently people are reacting to you. Then after this, pick two more qualities, internalize them, and then write down in your journal how people are reacting to you differently, and so on. At the end of six weeks, you will notice how much better you have become at conveying to women that you are the PRIZE.
AIso, start paying attention to what men, who are good women, do. Put your defensive insecurities aside, and instead of telling yourself that they are good because they have things that you don't have--for example, Iooks and money-ask yourself the question: What is it about the way they act that makes women see them as the PRIZE?
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