Navelgazing Gags

Both on TV/Radio shows and Live on stage you will find these Belly Button and Navel-Gazing related jokes well worth using. OK so they may not be hilarious but then again you're a Psychic not a Comedian so a little humour is better than none isn't it?

#I've recently been given honouree membership to The Army because of my special talents. They've made me a member of The Navel Core.

#I learnt Navel-Gazing off my Great Grandfather who worked as a Belly Button Reader for the Army during World War One! He was the Head of NAVEL COMMAND!

#Yes this strange talent runs in the family, my Uncle wanted to do the same as my Great Grandfather had done for the Army during the War - but they wouldn't let him because he has two Belly Buttons instead of one!! They said he'd have to join THE NAVEL RESERVE instead!!

#Belly Buttons were originally called "done-it's". In fact they were called "done-its" for thousands of years ever since Jesus started to Christen people in the Bible! Oh yes its true, he'd dip them under the water, say his Holy blessing and then he'd tap them in the stomach like this (make visual movement of pointing your finger into someone's stomach around the area of the navel) and then he'd say "done-it!"

#It's quite easy to learn Navel-Gazing, for example two obvious things to look for when examining someone's Navel are Body Jewellery and fluff! The presence of Body Jewellery tends to indicate they are not soft people who'd start crying if they got a paper cut, whereas Fluff inside their Belly Button tends to indicate they don't have a bath very often!

#I taught Navel-Gazing to a Circus Contortionist called Sarah last year, a few months later she died - her family told me they weren't surprised about it though as SHE HAD SEEN HER OWN END!

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