Laptop Repair Made Easy
Of course, if you throw some technology into the above mix, you can come up with miracle material I know of performers who carry their laptop computers with them at all times, even backstage before the show. Imagine what you could do with internet access and a name or a phone number You hear the stories on the news all the time about people who can find out all about you over the internet, right Why not put some of that to good use. You're not going to do anything illegal or immoral, so go for it
My original intent was to install the program on my laptop. As I began the installation process, the program told me that certain system files on my computer were outdated and needed to be replaced with newer versions. These words filled my heart with dread. I did not have GoBack (see the introduction to this column) installed on my laptop, so I aborted the install. Instead, I began to install the program on my desktop computer. Again, I received the message that certain files needed to be updated. (I found this very curious, since I was running Windows 98 SE.) I told the program to proceed. After a short period of time I was told to reboot the computer and restart the installation process. This I did. As the installation began, the program encountered a file that was write protected. Did I want to ignore this file or abort the installation procedure I told the program to ignore the file. The installation completed without further incident and the program worked just fine. (I still am...
Part of this month's column was written on Pit Hartling's laptop computer in the very small village of Steineberg, Germany. I was giving some workshops for young German magicians, and the conference was being held in a youth hostel in Steineberg. It was exactly like going to summer camp. My roommate was Eric Anderson, the talented street magician corporate performer from Georgia. He was barely able to fit himself into one of the small beds in the room. Eric lectured on a Saturday evening. As I sat in the audience, jet lag overwhelmed me I couldn't keep my eyes open. So, at 8 45 I surreptitiously left the lecture room, returned to my room, and immediately fell asleep.
If you want to do the test cold, with no preshow work, simply get the lady's name. Plug in your laptop computer into the nearest telephone jack, and log on to Compuserve. Access her motor vehicle record, and get her date of birth that way. In my area, you can purchase the motor vehicle database, on CD Rom, for around 60. Scary, isn't it
Have you ever EXPERIENCED AN INTENSE PASSION for a special creative process you find yourself in the midst of With me and my writing, I IMAGINE THE BIGGEST PLEASURE OF ALL is how I BECOME ABLE TO FEEL THAT WAY instantaneously over and over again just BEING ALONE WITH ME AND MY LAPTOP, RIGHT DOWN THERE JUST POUNDING AWAY at the keyboard.
The next Set Up technique we looked at was 'Establishing an intimate atmosphere'. In the context of an initial sales meeting, this translates as 'Establishing an atmosphere conducive to selling'. If the salesman is visiting the customer, which is usually the case, then he obviously has limited control over 'atmosphere'. Even so, his cold reading sensibilities can come in handy. Some people, when they attend meetings, immediately plonk their briefcase down on the desk directly between themselves and the other person, and then proceed to lay out a notebook, laptop, pack of sales literature and so on. This creates a needless physical barrier, a 'psychological wall', between themselves and the person they are meeting. This inhibits rapport.
I asked her to go into the bedroom and change into the sexy black bra, panties, and high heels that I like to see her in. As she did that, I went to my suitcase by the front door and took out two silk ties, and placed a knot in the middle of each. When she returned, I told her how beautiful she looked to me, and I led her to the doorway of my bathroom. She asked me what I was doing, but I did not answer. I tied a silk tie to each of her wrists and then raised her hands far above her head and threw the ties over the top of the bathroom door, and then closed the door behind her, with the knots caught behind the top of the door, thus leaving her restrained in front of the bathroom. I could easily free her by simply opening the door, but there was nothing she could do. I stepped backwards into my living room and admired the view of her. Then I went back to her and bent down and slid her panties down to her ankles, and I then went to my desk and turned on my laptop and began working on...
On the lighter side, I got some good Christmas gifts this year. Quite a few DVDs I've been jonesing for, and an expensive little toy called a CLIE, which is part palm pilot, part digital camera, part camcorder, part voice recorder, part MP3 player, part video game player, part portable computer, and part internet hub, so I'm having fun decoding how to work the damn thing. I plan on using it in the field to record a few of my sarges. I might post a few online if they're good enough, but I'll have to wait to see if it's really worth the trouble.
I suppose you are wondering why it is necessary to cultivate the ability to memorize telephone numbers. After all, you are never without your Day Runner appointment book, digital diary, palmtop database, laptop computer, or your little black book. But just suppose you are in a distant city, between sales calls, stopped at a traffic light when you hear the screech of tires and feel the crunch of the impact from the rear. Oh, no This means you are going to be late for your appointment. No problem, there's a telephone on the corner and you can just call ahead and explain the delay. But you've misplaced your little black book. Everything else is in your briefcase and locked in the trunk - which is jammed shut due to the impact. What will you do
If you have immediate internet access (my laptop Macintosh is always with me and most hotels which cater to business trade have speedy hookups) you can use any of the reverse phone number lookup services to get an address and then move on to Mapquest.com to get a description of his neighborhood (proximity to golf courses, parks, lakes, etc.).
Imagine after asking a spectator to come on stage, you then hook them up to a State of the Art Mind Reading Machine . It looks like nothing more than a strange laptop computer or word processor, but when activated gives specific details of someone's life on a printout sheet that they can keep. It's simple. You make it up yourself. The machine is merely a standard word processor or laptop computer with fake strands of wires coming out of it. The ends are attached to the spectator and kept in place with surgical tape - think EKG, etc.
There are some hilarious gags which, if you have any brains at all, you will never ever attempt, such as the I Sleep with My Eyes Open gag, the Charles Hardin You've Got My Hat gag, and the Airport Security Laptop Computer gag. Interspersed among all this stuff are some wonderful
As mentioned before, most people don't know about the hourly forecast on Accuweather for any city in the world. You can print it out in the morning and have it ready to refer to during the day. Please note that the hourly forecast is updated as conditions change or the weather gets closer. If you have a laptop computer with mobile internet access you can secretly look at the most recent update of the hourly forecast. Just have the laptop in your car where you can secretly access it. This will allow you to use pinpoint accuracy to tell them when you will stop and start the rain.
At the moment I'm sitting in front of my hotel window typing on my notebook computer with the skyline of lovely Scranton, Pennsylvania over my shoulder. I'm listening to Al Green sing Christmas carols and wishing I were at home with my wife Jennifer. On a happier note, we've got some great stuff to talk about this month.
Also, a few months ago, while visiting Steineberg Germany, I wrote a Marketplace column using Pit Hartling's laptop computer. Because of my imprecise language I gave many people the impression that Pit lives in Steineberg. This is incorrect. Pit Hartling lives in Frankfort. His laptop lives in Steineberg.
We've just left I-44 and merged onto I-40 on the west side of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. We're on the way back to Las Vegas, and the surest sign that we're pointed in the right direction is that the sky is big again. We've swapped the Dodge Caravan for a U-Haul truck, and trying to type on the laptop is an exercise in frustration the sensitivity of the computer keyboard combined with the vibrations of the truck cab produce words with about a third too many letters. I'm strongly tempted to tell Lisa (who's driving) to bypass our exit and keep heading west. I-40 is the most direct route back home. But there are still four more lectures remaining, which means we can't go home just yet. Our route will be circuitous, with a few more adventures ahead of us. Now I know how Odysseus felt. 1) A traveling companion. Having someone share the trip with you not only eases the physical burden of driving, unloading, setting up, tearing down, and loading up again, but can also ease the psychological...
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