Let Go of Negative Feelings
Right now I want you to use what you've just learned, and offer you a simple way to change your beliefs, perhaps faster and more effectively than you ever dreamed possible. The first belief that we will change is any old thoughts or self-images you may have had about being shy, and we'll replace that with being confident and moving through the world in a whole new way. Avoid using this for just one belief, because you can use this for any belief that may have been holding you back. Use this method to change all beliefs that you find less than glorious and less than resourceful. You have certain mental pictures, sounds and feelings that are associated with beliefs. What we're going to do is basically change the structure of the belief and thereby change the belief. By altering the structure of the belief, we alter how the mind encodes the belief. The mind encodes powerful beliefs differently from weakly held beliefs. back to your normal, neutral state of being. Third, we'll discover...
The following method uses questions that are designed to break up limiting beliefs. These questions help you reconnect with your confidence resources. Remember that you have the confidence within you at all times. You have successfully been confident in the past. The key is to summon the necessary confidence whenever you choose.
In order to practice finding counter examples for limiting beliefs, you will need some examples of limiting beliefs. We can utilize verbal prompts, similar to those applied in the Values Audit and Belief Audit, in order to generate limiting belief statements. As with all beliefs, and the verbalization of beliefs, limiting beliefs typically take the form of cause-effect and complex equivalence statements. That is, we believe that something is the result or consequence of something else, or that something is evidence of or means something else. The following prompts use these verbal forms as a way to explore and elicit clusters of limiting beliefs relating to the sense of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. Filling in the statements with respect to some situation or area in your life where you feel stuck or at an impasse can help you to uncover important limiting beliefs which can then be addressed by the various Sleight of Mouth patterns that wTe have been exploring in this...
The purpose of all of the Sleight of Mouth patterns we have explored up to this point is to assist us to become more open to believe in our goals, our values, our capabilities and ourselves. They can also help us to 'reframe' negative generalizations, stimulating us to become more open to doubt evaluations and judgments which limit us. Sleight of Mouth patterns are simple but effective verbal structures that aid us in the establishment of new and empowering beliefs, and in changing limiting beliefs. They are powerful tools for conversational belief change. People often consider the process of changing beliefs to be difficult and effortful and accompanied by struggle and conflict. Yet, the fact remains that people naturally and spontaneously establish and discard hundreds, if not thousands, of beliefs during their lifetimes. Perhaps the difficulty is that when we consciously attempt to change our beliefs, we do so in a way that does not respect the natural cycle of belief change. We...
The natural cycle of belief change can be likened to the changing of the seasons. A new belief is like a seed that becomes planted in the Spring. The seed grows into the Summer where it matures, becomes strong and takes root. During the process of its growth, the seed must at times compete for survival with other plants or weeds that may already be growing in the garden. To successfully accomplish this, the new seed may require the assistance of the gardener in order to help fertilize it or provide protection from the weeds. Sometimes our new conviction comes in conflict with existing limiting beliefs that contradict the new generalization or judgment we are attempting to establish. Frequently, these interfering beliefs are generalizations that have served to support or protect us at some time in the past, by establishing limits and priorities perceived as necessary for
As the steps involved in the process of natural belief change illustrate, our internal state is an important influence on belief change. Our internal states are in many ways the containers for our beliefs. If one is in a positive, optimistic state, it is much more difficult to hold onto negative and limiting beliefs. On the other hand, it is difficult to remain congruent about positive and empowering beliefs when our internal state is one of frustration, disappointment or fear.
The following procedure is a technique that 1 developed whose purpose is to help lead people through the natural cycle of belief change. It involves the use of anchoring and inner mentors to help lead people through the sequence of states making up the belief change cycle 1) wanting to believe, 2) becoming open to believe, 3) believing, 4) becoming open to doubt, 5) the experience of remembering something one used to believe, and 6) trust. Patterns of Locations for the Belief Change Cycle Patterns of Locations for the Belief Change Cycle The experience of 'trusting' in something beyond your beliefs is placed in the center of the cycle to serve as a type of 'meta position' and 'ecology check' for the rest of the process. To 'anchor' the states, apply the process followed in the earlier anchoring exercise, putting yourself as fully as possible into the experience and physiology associated with each of these aspects of the cycle of belief change and 'anchoring' them to appropriate...
The establishment of the sequence of states in a chain, and the linking of one state to another is most easily done through the process of anchoring. Historically, the NLP technique of Chaining Anchors has used kinesthetic anchoring. One way of creating a belief chain is to add linguistic-distinctions, such as Sleight of Mouth patterns, to the sequence of kinesthetic anchors. As an example, to work with a limiting belief, you can lay out four spaces to form a 'chain' going from the Problem State (the limiting belief) to the Desired State (a more empowering belief) with two intermediate steps a. Location 1 The limiting belief (Problem State) b. Location 2 The positive intention of the limiting belief c. Location 3 A redefinition of some aspect of the limiting belief statement which makes it somewhat positive Locations for Creating a Basic Belief Chain 1. Standing in the location for the problem state, choose a limiting belief that you would like to work with (e.g., It is hard for me to...
There are times, however, where we may encounter interference from limiting beliefs. In such situations, it is also important to have tools to help us become open to doubt those generalizations or judgments that limit us. Processes such as finding the intention, chunking down, chunking up, finding analogies, and identifying higher level criteria offer several methods softening and refraining limiting beliefs. Another very powerful pattern, that works with the structure of beliefs, is to identify counter examples to the beliefs. Finding counter examples is a simple but powerful way to evaluate and challenge potentially limiting beliefs, and to deepen our understanding of other beliefs. Counter examples do not necessarily disprove a belief statement, but they do challenge its 'universality', and frequently put it in a broader perspective. (In Chapter 4, for instance, we used counter examples to identify hierarchies of criteria.) As was mentioned earlier, beliefs and criticisms become...
There is only one effective cure for the distortion of the only option other women as beautiful and sensual as her. Unless you are a Yoga guru, your testosterone and other cerebral mechanisms discussed above, put you in a constant state of being at risk of suffering the cognitive distortion of the only option.
Ironration started a thread which seems to have picked up on trying to overcome your negative thoughts with positive ones. I know this is something I've had a hard time with, especially when I first started out. Nothing's worse than repeating affirmations when in the back of your mind you're just thinking This is bullshit. You can check out the thread Affirmations backed by positive action destroy negative thoughts. I wrote an article on Cliff's List a while back on Inner Game issues that cover this topic. I'll see if I can find it and repost it here on the blog.
The three most common areas of limiting beliefs center around issues of hopelessness, helplessness and worthless-ness. These three areas of belief can exert a great deal of influence with respect to a person's mental and physical health. To be successful, people need to shift these types of limiting beliefs to beliefs involving hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging. Obviously, the most pervasive beliefs are those regarding our identity. Some examples of limiting beliefs about identity are 7 am helpless worthless a victim. I don't deserve to succeed. If I get what I want I will lose something. 7 don't have permission to succeed. Limiting beliefs sometimes operate like a thought virus with a destructive capability similar to that of a computer virus or biological virus. A 'thought virus' is a limiting belief that can become a 'self-fulfilling prophesy' and interfere with one's efforts and ability to heal or improve. (The...
The ultimate purpose of the various Sleight of Mouth patterns is to linguistically help guide people through the states involved in the Belief Change Cycle. As a technique, the Belief Change Cycle does not necessarily require the use of language. The process can be done by simply establishing the locational anchors for each of the internal states and walking through them in the appropriate sequence. There are times, however, when a few well placed words, at the right time, can greatly facilitate the achievement of one of these states, or the movement from one to another (i.e., moving from 'wanting to believe' to becoming 'open to believe'). In addition to physiology, emotional responses, and internal representations and submodalities, language can exert a powerful influence on our internal states. The technique of Belief Chaining illustrates how some simple Sleight of Mouth patterns (Intention and Redefining) can be used to stimulate and support particular internal states, and...
Each of us has individual experiences, beliefs, and values that make us perceive life in our own individual way. Everyone has their own perception of reality, a unique model of the world. This means that it is only a perception and not actual reality. The empowering part of this idea is that these beliefs can be changed and thereby change one's perception of life. This means that the exercises and strategies described in this book will change your beliefs and your perception of what is possible for yourself.
Each of these examples shares a common feature a few words change the course of someone's life for the better, by shifting a limiting belief to a more enriched perspective that offers more choices. They are illustrations of how the right words at the right time can create powerful and positive effects.
The first part of this book is going to impart you with some very powerful beliefs, attitudes, and frames for being the sort of man hot women pursue. I know some of you are going to feel tempted to skip over this section and go straight to the sections on PRIZABILITY and PRIZING.
You tell them to TRY to keep their arm straight out in front of them as they allow these NEGATIVE emotions and feelings to flood their entire body from tip to toe. It is explained that this demonstrates how Negative emotions in our minds can lead to Negative effects in our bodies and as a consequence often lead to unnecessary illnesses and disease. The good news however, is that by using a form of treatment such as Navel Healing we can remove all negative emotions from our bodies and therefore end up with a far more healthy life.
The same can be said of feeling Old, Ugly, Stupid, and being a Loser. There are actions that you perform that re-enforce all your negative beliefs. I'd say there are probably five actions that go along with the five myths, and you will see these are the most common behaviors that result from loser feelings and generate even more negative feelings. They are
Let's begin now to blow out those negative emotions. A great place to begin to interrupt and banish those useless thought processes is to consider the language you use to describe them. Let's say you've feared public speaking. How do you describe this to yourself If you say, 'I have a fear of speaking in public,' you are, in a sense, taking possession of something that is just a mental process What if you were to describe what is really happening and say, 'When I think about a certain context, I run a process in my mind which I have labeled as 'fear'.' How much does that change things for you How much better do you feel, knowing that what you previously described as 'a fear of public Begin now to notice how you have been describing your other negative emotions. Have you been saying things like, 'I always get nervous when I talk to strangers', 'Talking to customers makes me anxious,' 'I just feel depressed,' Instead of feeling, 'I feel sad', describe for yourself what is really going...
Before you make this happen, you'll go through several steps on your journey to unstoppable confidence. There's also a confidence at the level of belief. This level means that, you believe you're confident. You think so, you think you're confident. You're pretty sure. You say, I am confident . But the ideal is to get to a point where, you are so absolutely confident that it's a given. You don't need to think about it anymore. You are confident. You just are confident. It's your way of being. So, if you think about your beliefs, some of them, you're not even aware of since they're just a given. It's just natural. If you've integrated your occupation into your identity, like you're a salesperson or you're a doctor, or you're a nurse, or you're an attorney or whatever. That's just a given. It's not a belief that you have. It's just your way of being. You know no differently.
So, in such a case, during the first minute or two of performance 1 leel that you should make no eye contact whatsoever. Having avoided eye contact with this person, you have given him time to weigh his negative feelings against the qualities of your performance, and consequently these feelings will diminish (one would hope) rather than intensify. During this initial period the reluctant spectator gets a chance to see that the others in his party are
Anyway, the crucial mind-set to adopt for yourself is to 1) drain away all the emotion from these flubs, 2) calmly and methodically (like a scientist) extract the useful data, then 3) erase the file from memory and move on applying what you learned to improve your chances next time. It's the damned negative emotions surrounding this task of seduction that makes the objective learning and improving of your skills so difficult. The solution
Pause for a moment and consider everything around you. Everything you have and everything you lack is directly a result of a belief of yours. Similarly, all of your experiences you have completed and those experiences yet to be done are because of your beliefs. Beliefs are pervasive throughout all areas of our life and influence what we do and how we do what we do to an extraordinary degree. The quality of one's life depends upon the quality of the beliefs that one holds. The more useful and empowering beliefs you holds, the more success one will attract into your life.
You can learn from each and every person and when you find they have empowering beliefs in a certain area, you can adopt those beliefs for yourself. Similarly, be sure to filter out any limiting beliefs that someone may try in vain to pass onto you. Consistently identify your beliefs about different things in different contexts. Make it a habit to eliminate the useless ones. Make it a habit to even more powerfully believe in the empowering ones.
But how does this information have any practical value for you Well, once you know someone's thinking preference you can make a pointed effort to match their pattern by inserting conversational cues that suggest that you too share the same cognitive bias. This creates an instant feeling of closeness and comradery because the basis of all romantic attraction is simply this people like people who seem similar to themselves. Finding someone who seems to be on your wavelength - who holds the promise of one day being able to communicate with you in shorthand and discerning glances - can be quite thrilling, for either sex. Finding someone so in tune with your own way of seeing the world validates your viewpoints and opinions doing so in a way suggests you're a pretty smart person without actually coming out and saying so. A person who seems to mirror your outlook and thinking style is very appealing on a subconscious level.
By altering the visual and auditory qualities of our beliefs and experiences, we change the feelings associated with them. If you want excellent feelings, you need to see and hear excellent things. Now that you understand how to deliberately change your past memories, current experiences, and your beliefs, you can practice making your good memories even better, your past less-than-glorious memories more neutral, and very powerfully lock in your most empowering beliefs.
An almond-shaped neuro structure involved in producing and responding to nonverbal signs of anger, avoidance, defensiveness, and fear. 2. A small mass of gray matter that inspires aversive cues, such as the freeze reaction, sweaty palms, and the tense-mouth display. 3. A primeval arousal center, originating in early fishes, which is central to the expression of negative emotions in man.
The 'as if' frame is often used to challenge limiting beliefs by creating counter examples or alternatives. For example, if a person says, I can't do X or It is impossible to do X, the 'as if' frame would be applied by asking, What would happen if you could do X or Act as if you could do X. What would it be like or If you were (already) able to do X, what would you be doing For instance, if a company executive were unable to describe what his or her desired state for a particular project is going to be, a mentor might say, Imagine it is five years from now. What is going on that is different The 'as if' frame is one of the key tools for mentors and advisors. The following exercise applies the 'as if frame as a means to help someone to bypass limiting beliefs.
Since this is a book about confidence, think of a belief about your confidence or shyness or ability to do something. A good example is, I can't go up and meet strangers easily. This is a belief that limits many people, and their social and business lives would improve if they rid themselves of that belief. Once you've selected your limiting belief regarding confidence or shyness, close your eyes and notice all the visual and audio qualities of that belief. This is the same thing we've done in steps one and three. After you've gotten the visual and audio qualities of that belief, begin to change each and every visual and audio quality of your limiting belief to match all of the visual and audio qualities of something that you used to believe but no longer do - an old belief. This recodes your limiting belief and transforms it into a something you no longer believe. When you have done this properly, you will find the limiting belief to be an old...
We come into the world and believe anything is possible because the truth is embedded in our minds, bodies, and spirits from the beginning. Kids actually already have empowerment figured out. They're not aware of guilt, fear, negativity, and embarrassment until some authority figure comes along and indoctrinates them with how to feel all those negative emotions. It's at the same time that self-consciousness gets instilled in young children as well. always well-prepared) since I reversed that negative belief I had formed based on that one isolated incident. The key lesson I took away from my 'misery hike' was that I needed to be better prepared for weather conditions.
Answer Our brains are crammed full of negative ideas and scripts. How many movies have you seen with death, destruction, and loss of love and heartache How many newscasts have you observed examples of mans' inhumanity towards man How many times did we run those scripts in our minds when parents, relatives, or friends told us we would never amount to anything, or we should be grateful for what little we have
In order to reevaluate and let go of existing beliefs that are interfering with the establishment of a new belief, we must become 'open to doubt' the existing belief. The experience of being open to doubt is the complement of being open to believe. Rather than thinking that some new belief might be true, when we are 'open to doubt' we are open to consider that some belief that we have been holding onto for a long time might not be the case. We think, Maybe it is not valid, or no longer valid. Perhaps it is not so important or necessary to believe it. I have changed my belief about other things before. What counter examples do I have that might call this old belief into question If I view it from a larger perspective, what other possibilities do I become aware of What is the positive purpose that this belief has served, and are there other ways to achieve that positive intention that are less limiting and more enriching When we truly change a belief, we no longer need to exert any...
You might want to merely PLAY with believing these notions for a while, just to test them out. It's not my job to teach you what you should or shouldn't hold as your own personal beliefs. It is my task to help you to be willing to play with a variety of viewpoints, so that you can more securely find what is truly your OWN.
The reader should PROBE these disrupting factors, and SYMPATHIZE with the client. This is extremely pleasant to the client, and places the reader and the client on friendly and confidential terms. It is well that the conscientious reader should sympathize with the client, and THEN endeavor to help the client CORRECT these NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
The natural process of belief change is also frequently facilitated by mentors. In Greek Mythology, Mentor was the wise and faithful counselor to the hero Odysseus. Under the guise of Mentor, the goddess Athena became the guardian and teacher of Odysseus' son Telemachus, while Odysseus was away on his journeys. Thus, the notion of being a mentor has come to mean the process of both (a) advising or counseling, and (b) serving as a guide or teacher. Mentoring (especially in an occupational setting) emphasizes the informal relational aspect of learning and performance as much as it does the mastery of the task. Mentoring can also include the process of sponsoring and supporting another person by helping the person to establish empowering beliefs, and reframe limiting beliefs.
You can really build this into something HUGE. Prove the convictions of your beliefs by tossing your wallet on to the table. Then have someone grab the largest phone book they can find. Have another spectator open the phone book to any page. Have yet another point to a name or number in the phone book. Then you concentrate so you can do whatever you are claiming that you are doing.
The impact of shifting internal states and using spatial anchoring on belief change also brings up the importance of non verbal communication. Verbal messages, or words, are only one of the modalities through which people communicate and influence one another. There are many ways in which people interact and send messages non-verbally, such as making eye contact, nodding their heads, crying, pointing or emphasizing something through voice stress. A person's non-verbal communication is as important as, if not more important than, his or her verbal communication.
In order to respond resourcefully to criticism, there must be some distance between you and the criticism so that you can prevent yourself from taking it personally. As you listen to criticism, imagine that you are surrounded by a thick glass barrier in between you and all the criticism and that the glass barrier absorbs any negativity or negative emotions so that only the useful, positive content of the message seeps through the glass barrier. Imagine that this glass barrier repels any and all negativity while still allowing useful feedback to come through and you to receive it. Other people may see and hear things differently and therefore have good suggestions for you on how to improve which is why you need to be able to receive positive, constructive criticism.
I see that you are very much concerned about someone near and dear to you. Your HUSBAND is giving you some anxiety, isn't that correct (The client's eyes widen - a bullseye) . There is another person, a woman (WRONG - the eyes narrow - try another track) . About this money. There is some uncertainty about husband and money - about his ability to make and retain it. (The eyes widen again) . There seems to be a lack of will power - of responsibility. This weakness does not seem to center about other women, but he does like to drink and gamble. This concerns you, not so much for yourself - for I see you are not vain and greedy like so many women. (This FLATTERY softens them up) . Both for you, the family and the future. (Reaction here brings sympathy and confirmation) . You see I have read these negative thoughts in your mind. I can see you crying many times (a slight nod) . You dearly love your husband, and you appear afraid of him.
I've loved Christmas ever since I was a kid. It's not just about the preasents for me. I love the snow, the tree, the decorations, the green and red color coordinating, Santa Clause, fires in the fireplace, stockings, candy, friendship, family I love everything it stands for. The coming of Christ into the world, and with him, the hope for every man, woman, and child living or yet to live to enjoy peace and happiness forever. Whatever your beliefs may be, you have to admit, that's a good thing to strive for.
Whatever you may feel inside, it is important to project a positive and charming image. Your projected image is the sum total of the appearance and personality by which you are judged by others. Your projected image depends on the way you stand, speak, dress, smile, walk, make eye contact You package yourself to others this way and the more beautiful the package, the more readily accepted it is. The first step to packaging yourself properly comes from your beliefs.
In the course of this book we have explored a number of specific Sleight of Mouth patterns, and the principles and methods which underlie the ability to generate and use them. The purpose of this chapter is to summarize them as a system of distinctions which can be used, in either conversation, consultation, or debate, to help people become more 'open to doubt' limiting beliefs, and more 'open to believe' empowering and useful beliefs. There are fourteen distinct Sleight of Mouth patterns which each help to shift attention, or widen a person's map in different directions. Consider the belief I have had this belief for such a long time that it will be difficult to changeThis is actually a common belief that many people struggle with when attempting to make changes in their lives. While it reflects a valid perspective, it can be quite a limiting belief if taken at face value and interpreted narrowly or rigidly. (It is also particularly tricky, because it is a belief about other beliefs...
Thus far in this book, we have explored how individual Sleight of Mouth patterns may be applied in order to help people become more 'open to doubt' limiting beliefs and generalizations, and to become more 'open to believe' empowering beliefs and generalizations. Often, a simple Sleight of Mouth statement can make a big difference in helping to shift a person's attitude and responses. Consider the example of the woman who had just received news that she had an unusual form of cancer, and that, consequently, the doctors were not certain how to treat it. Fearing the worst, the woman was anxious and distraught over the situation. She consulted an NLP practitioner, who pointed out to her that, In unusual circumstances, unusual things can happen (applying the generalization to itself). This simple statement helped her to shift her perspective such that she could view uncertainty as a possible advantage, not necessarily a problem. The woman began to take more self-directed action, and was...
As the interactions continued, however, I became aware that there was a structure to what Richard was doing one that I could repeat. I realized that, while the content of the interaction was different, at the level of 'deep structure' it was a dialog that I had encountered many times before, with many different people. It was a way of creating and maintaining a thought virus by negatively refraining or 'outframing' attempts to put the limiting belief back into an outcome frame, feedback frame or 'as if' frame. R Who tied this microphone to me Jim Where's Jim He's after me. He's in the bathroom He's probably in there plotting against me. He's tied this thing to me . . . and you've all seen how I trip over it all the time. He wants me to trip on it and hurt myself, and lose my credibility as a teacher, and make you laugh at me. He's out to get me. I mean, that's pretty obvious isn't it Will someone help me He's going to be back in here in a few minutes. (Establishes limiting belief Jim...
Either way, my point is that emotion is the building block of attraction, and the negative emotions are much more powerful and attention grabbing initially* than the positive emotions. When you use these in tandem, the positive emotions are much more powerful and noticeable. This is what girls crave. This is why they want drama. And this is how expert seducers play the game.
Traumatic episodes and reactions can arise from traumatic experiences, negative input through stories, movies, and imaginings. As such, once we map out a trauma, the trauma can come to function as belief and identity imprints that lead to limiting beliefs. lead to the experience out of which we made the limiting belief. If one encounters a blank, anchor that blank as a dissociated state, and take it back in time to a significant past imprint. Re-imprinting helps with the updating of internal maps by highlighting resources one can use to resolve ind or avoid trauma situations. In re-imprinting, we even give (mentally in our minds) the people who perpetrated hurt the resources they needed in order not to have created such hurt. Doing this doesn't excuse or condone the hurtful behavior, but maps out appropriate resources and behaviors. Often, victims of crimes build limiting beliefs that are then maintained by anger and fear. These show up as revenge beliefs and create even more...
In this section of the book I outline my personal beliefs and rules, which 1 apply to each demonstration I use during my performances. As with all beliefs and opinions there are no absolutes. These are rules that have proved Useful and at times challenging in my own development as a performer. In summary of multiple building climaxes it is my personal belief that the routines I perform should feature multiple moments of both minor and major rtiua.iement. These moments should build in strength or interest. At no point should it feel as if the performer is simply repeating his skill for the mere Isc ol il and 1 lie final major moment should be a clear and easily understood applause cue lor the audience.
Another feature of any person who basically has a positive self-concept, and perhaps all people, is the self-serving bias. The self-serving bias is a tendency to interpret information in line with our existing beliefs, and especially to believe positive things about ourselves. Thus, any information which fits in with our preconceived notions, or in this case, that of the person we are reading, will be believed, whether true or not. Any statement pertaining to the self that is reasonable and is positive will be accepted and believed. Yet another feature of cognitive functioning is selective perception and selective recall. People tend to focus their perceptions upon those aspects of information that fit with their existing or present schema. For example, I was visiting with a gentlemen who had been a confirmed skeptic for 15 years. He awakened about 2 15 a.m. over the middle of the Pacific Ocean, en route to Hawaii, with the sudden realization that he was fulfilling the prophesy a...
Once we are familiar with the system of beliefs that is holding a potential 'thought virus' in place, for instance, we are better able to find effective reframes which will help to place the limiting belief back into an outcome frame and feedback frame. The various Sleight of Mouth patterns can help us to approach the limiting system of beliefs in a more strategic (rather than reactionary) manner. Let's consider how we can use the formalization of the Sleight of Mouth patterns as a way to more effectively deal with the paranoid 'thought virus' that we have been using as an example in this chapter. The essence of the limiting belief at the basis of this thought virus is something like Limiting Belief Person X did something that caused me to be hurt more than once. Because it has happened before, it will happen again. Person X intends to hurt me and I am in danger.* Limiting Belief Person X did something that caused me to he hurt more than once. Because it has happened before, it will...
Exactly what to say and how to act in a way that a great looking woman would find charming, clever and intriguing, as opposed to stupid, laughable and humiliating. Right The need to avoid these negative emotions overrides whatever horniness that you have. Simply put, ignorance begets fear.
An important concept about women never keep women from feeling negative emotions. Women love negative emotions as much as positive ones. This is very much different from what your parents and teachers told you, so if a woman feels negative emotions, don't try to help her, don't try to keep her from feeling these emotions or you risk coming across as an unattractive nice guy and breaking the Rapport with her resulting in her slowly becoming your enemy.
I'm going to be in San Diego for the weekend of February 20-22, 2004 to do a three-day gig to raise money, to help a friend. I'll be teaching what might be best described as a Marknosis Sampler -- key lessons and techniques from three of our most popular seminars. In this our only West Coast appearance for 2003 2004, I'll be leading the group through a fast-paced sampler of inductions and exercise from our three top-selling recent seminars. Not for the faint of heart, we're going to rip through changes in your beliefs, behaviors, thoughts and sensations until you're basically intact, just massively enhanced with the ability to take control of your life and DRIVE
The ability to accurately interpret hand-to-face gestures in a given set of circumstances takes considerable time and observation to acquire. We can confidently assume that, when a person uses one of the hand-to-face gestures just mentioned, a negative thought has entered his mind. The question is, what is the negative It could be doubt, deceit, uncertainty, exaggeration, apprehension or outright lying. The real skill of interpretation is the ability to pick which of the negatives mentioned is the correct one. This can best be done by an analysis of the gestures preceding the hand-to-face gesture and interpreting it in context.
She sat down and said, How will I know what kind of clothes to buy How will I know how to interact with my parents How will I know who to let touch me How will I know what to do or where to go in the world around me She was saying that this belief had substituted for a number of decision-making strategies that she had never developed. As I pointed out earlier, limiting beliefs are frequently the result of unanswered 'how' questions. In order to ecologically change her belief, she needed to appropriately address all of these unanswered how' questions. lb explore the pattern of consequence for yourself, identify a limiting belief or generalization that prevents you or someone else from performing as effectively as you know you that you can. Enrich your perception of this situation or experience by considering What is a positive effect of the belief or the generalization defined by the belief fOne way to do this is to consider the problem or difficulty from...
I believe that Plato said know thyself, heal thyself. As a special person you have the ability of overcoming handicaps, overcoming obstacles, because if you stop and think that in your life you have overcome a lot of negativity, you have overcome a lot of obstacles, and it's just a question of overcoming as many obstacles as you can.
The fifth level is identity, your sense of yourself and mission in life, who you ARE. Identity provides and determines the permission and motivation for beliefs and values. Rapport is with yourself through congruency between the core beliefs and values that define who you are.
If the way we interact in a conversation seems problematic and unproductive, it may indicate mis-matched Meta-programs or some cognitive distortion. We find cognitive distortions in the twelve distinctions of the Meta-model. These show up as 'ill formedness in expression, structure, or meaning. Typically, these become especially unproductive when we over-use them. We have noted some of the Meta-model violations in the list of cognitive distortions (Figure 8.3).
Robert Dilts (1990), in working with changing belief systems, described the synesthesia pattern of some beliefs which occur quickly and automatically, using the metaphor of a molecule. He pictured the end result as a molecule of many elements (VAK and Ad) all glued together, lo help a person separate (or de-frame) this construction, he suggested pulling apart the component pieces and putting them back in the NLP eye accessing cue spaces (See Eye Accessing Cue Chart, Appendix A). This pattern separates and sorts out the representational pieces of an experience in order to de-frame the construction and provide more choice. Source Dilts (1990).
You let the knowledge depress you instead of enlightening you. Personally, I found the knowledge to be very enlightening, almost freeing. It was great. Like Major Mark says Reality will always be your best friend. The key is being able to see things for what they truly are. Tune your NLP filters such that you perceive reality as it truly is. Get rid of any self limiting beliefs. If you have a belief that is limiting you, challenge it and get rid of it. The scarcity poverty mentality can be paralyzing. It is only a self-limiting belief, not reality. Get rid of it. The attachment is clinging onto hope, a result of the scarcity mentality. Fear is your self-limiting beliefs talking to you. The self-limiting beliefs are about women. And thus the fear of women. Replace your self-limiting beliefs with enabling beliefs, and you will be inspired by women. Relaxation is the absence of tension caused by internal conflicts between beliefs and desires. Work on your...
A topic like magic is difficult to discuss or write about because of its subjective nature, which may cause disagreements due to variations in method, mental attitude, and emotion. This dissension is plainly evident in many magic pamphlets and among magicians themselves. As I was asked to relate my own views, the following are my personal beliefs about magic.
Other people will try to project their limits onto you. If you share your dream with someone and they have limiting beliefs, they may try to put their limits onto you or suggest that it cannot be done. All of this accidental bad hypnosis by friends, family, and colleagues can be counteracted by using the following words cancel, cancel. If you catch someone giving you a bad suggestion or projecting their limits inside of you, mentally utter the words cancel, cancel . These words serve to remind yourself to flush those negative thoughts from your mind. The more you pay attention to people's language, the more you realize how many limits people really do project which in turn will cause you to be using 'cancel, cancel' often.
Dilts is the principle author of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Vol. I (1980), and has authored numerous other books on NLP including Changing Belief Systems with NLP (1990) and Beliefs Pathways to Health and Well Being (1990, co-authored with Tim I Iallbom and Suzi Smith) which describe his work in changing limiting beliefs and creating functional belief systems. Tools for Dreamers (1991, co-authored with Todd Lpstein) and Skills for the Future (1993), explore the applications of NLP to manage and enhance creativity. Dilts' series, Strategies of Genius Vols. 1,11 & HI (1994-1995), applies the tools of NLP to model the thinking processes of important historical figures such as Aristotle, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock I lolmes, Walt Disney, Mozart, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud. Leonardo da Vinci and Nikola Tesla. Visionary Leadership Skills (1996), draws from Dilts' extensive study of historical and corporate leaders to present the tools and skills necessary for creating a world to...
The prime reason why people seek the services of a reader is because of some MAL-ADJUSTMENT WHICH APPROACHES A CLIMAX. This desire is usually a product of negative thoughts, fear, anxiety, probable loss, or to correct a situation that is not in keeping with their thinking. This is the first CUE for the reader. He KNOWS his client, and that he possesses negative thoughts - worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, etc., By stabbing in the dark, and discussing this possibility, he immediately touches upon the INNER THOUGHTS of the subject, and further lowers his guard,
Feelings can lead you to act in self-defeating ways. If you fill your head with depressing and negative thoughts, and you allow yourself to feel shameful and angry feelings, you will never be able to act confidently. Many of us have picked up negative feelings growing up that become the normal way for us to feel. If we learned to feel ashamed to express interest in girls when we were young, it won't get any better as we get older. So whatever negative feelings you experienced growing up are considered normal by you, so that when good feelings come along, we may feel insecure and scared. When this happens, we actively seek out those negative feelings we've become accustomed to, even if they are painful. The list could go on. But you get the idea. Your parents, when they said those things, were instilling negative feelings about yourself and women in your head. They made your starting point one where you were never good enough, or attractive enough, or you had to feel guilty about your...
Finally, stand your ground when disrespected, and do so without blame. If you don't stick up for yourself, no one will. Don't allow other's negativity to affect you in any way, shape or form. Move through life without apology. People who stick to their guns and follow what they believe in will always be tested to see if they will break down. Sometimes the testing will be hard to endure, but if you stay true to yourself, others will know what you're about and will ultimately respect you for it. If you should crumble and give in, people will walk all over you because you've shown them you don't have strong conviction in your beliefs and can be convinced to do something you don't want to.
You appear to possess considerable psychic ability and should, once you have overcome these negative thoughts and mental confusion, be able to help others with this great gift. Your impressions and premonitions are nearly always correct, but you do not follow them. Therein, lies some of your difficulties. You should always be heedful of these impressions and warnings, as they can make your path thru life much brighter, happier and more successful. Such psychic impressions should enable you to avoid much deceit and unhappiness.
I think you now can see that just thinking about the negative thoughts that hold us back and makes us doubt can have an even greater effect on all of us than we've ever realized. But since you've been brave enough to face your negative energies and open yourself up to all of us, it's time to find a positive side of this experiment. Then, in uncanny detail, you proceed to describe the vibrations you sensed during the experiment. When asked if correct about your impressions, she indeed confirms you picked up on the very feelings that caused her negative thoughts.
Frequently, when we first attempt to take on a new belief, it comes into conflict with existing beliefs. A child who wants to believe, I am able to ride a bicycle, must often contend with previous generalizations derived from the experience of falling down on many previous attempts. Similarly, a child who wants to believe, It is safe for me to cross the street on my own, may first have to address and let go of the belief that his or her parents have established previously that, You cannot cross the street by yourself, without an adult to help you.
You appear to be in doubt of even your own affections. You are quite fickle at this time, and I perceive that you feel you have been hurt by another near and dear to you. I feel that I must concede this fact, but you should dismiss these negative thoughts from your mind. You should endeavor to place your affections elsewhere, and not dwell too much on the past.
How to Hypnotize Your Prospect And Not Have Them Knowing It. Another full-day workshop presented by Wayne F. Perkins, designed for sales professionals and small business owners. Attendees learn to communicate with customers and prospects using sound hypnotic techniques. This workshop improves your odds in completing the sale. Hypnosis exercises in overcoming the fear of failure and negative thoughts are also practiced and learned by each attendee.
The Sleight of Mouth patterns of 'Apply to Self' and 'Meta Frame' typically stimulate a shift of our attention to a different level of thinking. They make us more aware of what Bertrand Russell termed logical types and the fact that we cannot treat a class and one of its members as if they are on the same level. Anthropologist and communication theorist Gregory Bateson applied Russell's theory of logical types as a means to help explain and resolve a number of issues relating to behavior, learning and communication. According to Bateson, the notion of different logical types was essential to the understanding of play, higher level learning, and pathological thinking patterns. Bateson believed that confusions of logical types were largely responsible for what we have been calling limiting beliefs and thought viruses.
Descending signature--whatever part of the signature drops represents depression, disappointment, disillusionment, or negative feelings associated with that part of the public self-image. If the last name drops, it could signal negative feelings with your father or other family figures. If it's the first name that drops, then you are depressed about yourself, feeling down on yourself. Your signature represents your public self-image, which means how you behave in public, how you act around other people, your social persona. When someone's signature is different that the rest of his or her writing, that would indicate that his public behavior is nothing like his private behavior what you see is not what you get. Signature & writing are the same--so is behavior in public and private. Signature slightly larger than writing--healthy self-confidence in public. Slightly smaller than writing--shy & reserved, would like to fade into the background. Much larger than writing--screaming to be...
Negative emotions destroy communications. It hampers understanding, prevents trust and promotes simmering resentment. Most interpersonal relationships can be frayed by negative emotions. To facilitate counseling, effective methods to neutralize negative emotions have been devised. These are Emotion Neutralizers.
Visionary Business - Marc Allen - Told in the form of a story of a struggling business owner and his wise mentor, the narrative covers the essential principles of business success from goal setting and planning to core beliefs and higher purpose. Influenced by New Age thought, this is a fun, inspiring and practical book.
The Magic of Conversational Belief Change Limiting Beliefs 116 Transforming Limiting Beliefs 117 Limiting Beliefs 167 Some Verbal Frames for Eliciting Limiting Beliefs Statements 170 Belief Change 175 The Natural Process of Belief Change 176 The Belief Change Cycle 178 Belief Change and Internal States 184 Belief Chaining 197
Also, let me add that if you feel that revealing participant's wrong thought of card after you have revealed your right impression could be an anti-climax, then you can simply invert the revelations thus keeping your right one for the end. I prefer to do in the way I have described to you because my divination of spectator's wrong card, the way I frame it, it seems as an afterthought, as an encore. Therefore it comes as something unexpected because in the minds of the audience the experiment was successfully brought to its conclusion.
Limiting beliefs arise from generalizations, deletions and distortions that have become placed in a 'problem frame', 'failure frame', or 'impossibility frame'. Such beliefs become even more limiting and difficult to change when they are separated from the experiences, values, internal states and expectations from which they were derived. When this happens, the belief can become perceived as some type of disassociated truth about reality. This leads people to begin to view the belief as the territory rather than a particular map, whose purpose is to help us effectively navigate our way through some portion of our experiential territory. This situation can become even further exaggerated when the limiting belief is not even one that we have formed from our own experiences, but which has been imposed upon us by others. Notice that the belief expressed by the doctor was stated in a problem frame, and not connected to any particular positive intention, sensory data, internal state, nor to...
Once you've calmed down and clarified your thoughts, you can recognize your bad habits and pinpoint the thoughts or beliefs that cause them. Once that happens, you must CHALLENGE those beliefs Write out the three most common thoughts that fire off your negative feelings and then challenge those thoughts Carry the challenges with you on a piece of paper if you must. All these thoughts are true, and they challenge your negative thoughts quite well. Do this for every objection you can think of. Never allow a negative thought to go unchallenged The language of comfort is a phrase or a sentence that you create to become your own influential statement. You must repeat it every time you need to manage your negative emotions. I can't give you this phrase, because it's unique to each of us. Just like music, you must find something that appeals to you and your own sensibilities.
Binging doesn't just have to do with being Fat, it can relate to all the myths you have about yourself. Binging is the action of excess. It's always about one more hamburger, one more drink, one more hit of ecstasy, one more lap dance. The binger feels out of control, like he can't help himself, and spirals down to extremes he feels ashamed of. It's this loss of control that makes him feel helpless, and reinforces all the negative thoughts he has about himself. All five of these actions actively destroy confidence. They re-enforce every negative thought and feeling you have and negate every positive one you can experience. They are habit forming, and if your thoughts and feelings are going to change, these habits must be broken.
Criticizing If you ever want to be truly confident, you must rid yourself of all desire to blame or criticize anyone, including (and especially) yourself. When you criticize yourself or blame yourself for something negative, you are creating negative feelings that will destroy your confidence. And when you blame and criticize others, you only serve to create hostility and avoid any responsibility for your role in whatever happened. Whenever you have negative thoughts because of one of these five habits, rewrite them. Find out what your thinking habits are, which one of these bad habits you rely on the most, and re-edit the words for yourself. How you interpret the events around you dictates what you feel.
Firstly, negative feelings generally have a more profound effect on people than positive ones. The human animal is still equipped with a rather crude nervous system that is geared to either fight or flight in the face of danger. Feelings of worry, fear, aguish, stress, etc provoke a very powerful and almost immediate response that is physically measurable. When these kinds of feelings are recalled the response should be very clear indeed.
The other thing that is true for hypnosis is once something is true for a person under hypnosis, it can be true for the person at any later time while fully conscious, because it has become 'familiar' and 'true' for the subconscious mind. And as we know, the subconscious mind does not know the difference between 'reality' and 'described reality.' But the subconscious mind is very good at making something 'real.' The subconscious mind will draw upon things that we did not know it had, in order that the 'reality' becomes 'true.' Additionally, in its devotion to make the reality real, the subconscious mind will ignore all those useless self-limiting beliefs you concocted over the years.
These tests reveal that, when the listener folds his arms, not only has he more negative thoughts about the speaker, but he is also paying less attention to what is being said. It is for this reason that training centres should have chairs with arms to allow the attendees to leave their arms uncrossed.
When the index finger points vertically up the cheek and the thumb supports the chin, the listener is having negative or critical thoughts about the speaker or his subject. Often the index finger may rub or pull at the eye as the negative thoughts continue. Because a gesture position affects a person's attitude, the longer a person holds the gesture, the longer the critical attitude will remain. This gesture is a signal that immediate action is required by the speaker, either by involving the listener in what he is saying or by ending the speech. A simple move, such as handing something to the listener to alter his pose, can cause a change in his attitude. This gesture is often mistaken as a signal of interest, but the supporting thumb tells the truth about the critical attitude (Figure 63).
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EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It works to free the user of both physical and emotional pain and relieve chronic conditions by healing the physical responses our bodies make after we've been hurt or experienced pain. While some people do not carry the effects of these experiences, others have bodies that hold onto these memories, which affect the way the body works. Because it is a free and fast technique, even if you are not one hundred percent committed to whether it works or not, it is still worth giving it a shot and seeing if there is any improvement.