Cabinet Of Mystery

AT LAST!!! A practical method of storing props for ihtr working performer*. YOU WILL LOVE lhis beautiful nasty wood-effect finish cabinet. IMAGINE .. you can store, from the lop down. all your props in descending order of usefulness. The TOP drawer is designed for cards and two clean red silks. The SECOND houses some brass things, some batteries Just in case they worii. and a cummy close-up mat. THIRD - a couple of electrical gadgets that you don't use, and a roll of tailor's invisible thread, that sits at the back , unwinding itself in the dark, weaving in and out of everything else in the drawer until you come to remove an item and find that everything follows along like a HUGE and gaudy charm bracelet. Also contains some really embarrassing old business cards of yours that you made when you were 16. FOURTH drawer - nasty old silks, a very unpleasant thumb tip dial's better left alone, and over twelve thousand little brown envelopes with names of things written on the outside, but CONTAINING NOTHING. Some loose keys, and a folded up acre of black Fablon adhesive covering that you cut rectangles out of occasionally when you save money by making and covering your own props. Although you have never kept ANYTHING home-made like this, you can't bring yourself to bum it, which you should along with the mile of velero and weird little paper-fastener things that you keep, you nerd. F1FTH drawer - Rocky Raccoon. SIXTH -little plastic wallets with 'Esso' on them which you keep just in case you need to put a packet trick in protective casing. Also somewhere in this drawer can be found a hook coin, a folding coin and a coin with another coin in it. all made from coins now no longer in circulation and therefore useless, but kept in case you ever put together a routine with old coins. "Remember these?," you might say SEVENTH drawer - nameless, unidentifiable crap that you bought when you were twelve, a plastic finger-chopper and some shoelaces that you keep in case you ever start doing Ring Oil Rope and want to use some old shoelaces. THE SECRET LOCKING DRAWER!! contained in the base houses a couple of pornographic cards and some nylon stockings, which you kept because you read somewhere that you could pull invisible threads from them that in turn could be separated into more individual threads. Aiso contains some catalogues with badly-spelt adverts and dodgy pictures of women wearing seventies négligée standing next to stupid things like this one-

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"Absolute shite. I recommend it unreservedly," - Some Hack


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