The Pre Grievitig Pattern

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Concept. The strategy that enables us to effectively grieve, release, and move on with life also empowers us to access the value(s) of what we might have anticipated having lost in the "future" via our imagination, so that we don't have to torture ourselves!

1. What will you probably lose in the future? We humans live a fragile and fallible life: we get sick, move through life stages, die, etc. Good ego strength enables us to "look reality in the face" without quivering, whining, throwing a tantrum, etc. It enables us to welcome reality as it exists. Identify the things that we will or could lose.

2. Determine outcome representations of value. How do you need to think and represent such events to remind you of their temporal nature so that you can remember them as time-limited? What other things do you value and appreciate even though you know "it too will pass away?" What supporting beliefs and values can empower you in this respect?

3. Transfer the coding to the future losses. Use your representations of that valued experience or person to identify your VAK representations of "acceptable loss." Then transfer to the persons, things, events that you may or will lose in the future.

4. Access resources for coping with such losses. How might you experience those valued qualities in new and different ways, with new and different people, in your future? Create a representation of doing this. See the resourceful you moving on with life creatively, joyfully, etc.

5. Ecology check. Do you have any parts that object to making this resourceful picture a part of your future? If so, take the objections and use them to modify your representations.

6. Install on your Time-line. Access your Time-line and then install your representation in the future.

#6S The Healthy Eating Pattern

Concept. Sometimes we don't eat as healthily as we should in order to have the health and fitness that corresponds with a vigorous and energetic life. Do we have a good strategy for healthy eating? We may not. Hating in a healthy way involves listening to the "wisdom of the body" so that we can recognize when we feel "full" and "empty." In so doing, we learn to eat for nutrition, not for some psychological value: comfort, nurture, relaxation, etc.

Eating in a healthy way also involves our decision-making strategy. We need to make good choices that take into account long-term pleasures and criteria, well-being, health, etc., rather than short-term pleasures. Healthy eating also involves the shifting of beliefs—transforming limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs, gelling over the old eating "programming" of childhood, and building supportive beliefs about self, body imagery, etc. Source: Andreas and Andreas (1989), "The Naturally Slender Eating Strategy."

The Pattern

1. Obtain your eating time representations. How do you know the lime has come to "eat?" Do you see, hear, or feel something? Imagine thai you have worked all day: how do you know the time has come for lunch or supper?

2. Check your stomach feelings. What do you feel? What kinesthetic qualities do you experience? Check whether your stomach feels full, empty, or some degree in between. Also check for the overall feelings: tension, relaxation, etc.

3. Explore. "What would feel good in my stomach right now?" Ask this of your body wisdom and notice what response you get. Think of an available and healthy food item (e.g., turkey sandwich, vegetable soup, salad, etc.) and imagine eating it. Try as many items as necessary to find the most appropriate one. Recall the sensations that this item creates.

4. Compare. Compare the feeling from the favored food item with the feeling you had in your stomach before you imaged eating anything. Which feels better? Imagine what your body will feel like over the next few hours. If you get a "No" that it won't feel better, decline that food. If you get a "Yes," then accept it. Notice that you decide now based on which will give you the best feeling over time.

5. Explore and compare using a non-healthy item. Visualize an unhealthy food item (e.g., a candy bar). Imagine eating it, and feel it in your stomach. Experience what it feels like now, in a few hours, tomorrow. Imagine what you think and feel about it over time. Compare these feelings with the feelings you got from steps 3 and 4. Notice which feeling you find more pleasurable. Wliich choices make you feel better?

6. huture pace. When you have considered enough possibilities, notice the food items that make you feel the best and imagine yourself taking these choices into your future.

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