The Pattern

Begin by acknowledging your own personal inner wisdom, strength, and love. This will enable you to center yourself as you presuppose personal resources and capabilities.

1. Run a movie of the day's activities. Starling at the beginning of the day, rim a movie through your mind of the activities, events, conversations, and people you encountered throughout the day.

2. Freeze frame the movie at the "rough spots." Stop the movie whenever you find places where you didn't like the response you got from others or wThere you didn't like your own behavior. This identifies the problem contexts.

3. Identify resources to apply. Ask, "What worked?" What actions, feelings, ideas, responses and ways of being worked well during the day? What other resources could I have used and applied from other contexts?"

4 Identify difficulties to address. Ask, "What did not work?" Then use the levels of beliefs to ask such things as the following:

a) Mow would I have liked to have affected others? (Spirit)

b) What kind of a person did I want to be in this situation? (Identity)

c) What did I deem as of the most importance in this situation? (Values)

d) What did I feel certain of or want to feel certain of? (Beliefs)

e) What was I able to do or what would I like to have been able to do? (Capabilities)

f) What feeling or action would I like to have taken? (Behaviors)

5. Creating the new reality. Play the movie again seeing yourself doing, feeling, being, acting, etc., with all of the resources you imagined. Do so until you generate a positive emotional response to the new creative movie. lo do this, keep recycling back through the resource development step.

6. Finish backtracking the day's movie, l uture pace, rim an ecology check and enjoy.

#64 The Forgiveness Pattern

Concept. WTien we live wTith unforgiving feelings toward someone, we experience thoughts-and-emolions of resentment, anger, bitterness, etc. And these neuro-linguistic states will not do us any good. We then install the hurt that someone has caused (or that we believe and feel they caused) as a significant memory or reference in our mind. Since we have not released it, resolved it, come to terms wTith it, etc., we have become stuck at the point of hurt. Subsequently, it keeps inappropriately signaling our mind-body of hurt, thereby imprisoning the hurt within!

Wc need to forgive. We need to forgive and release it. But how? How do we forgive?

Forgiveness, as a neuro-linguistic state, describes a very powerful and useful subjective experience. This forgiveness pattern offers a process that enables us to create the experience of forgiveness.

As a more complex piece of subjectivity, various beliefs can operate that either support or limit our ability to access the strategy of forgiveness. What do you believe about forgiveness? What ideas hold you back from forgiving? How long do you believe it takes to develop forgiveness? What do you believe about the relationship between forgiving and re-entering relationship? With that person?

In shifting from unforgiving to forgiving, we alter our perceptions and meanings from seeing the person/event fused together, as ugly, dark, demonic, etc., to seeing the person and event as two separate phenomena, so that we can sort out our thoughts-feelings about each and not let our rage at the behavior contaminate our compassion for the person.

The Pattern

1. Access a state of self-esteeming. Center yourself in your values, standards, beliefs, and dignity.

2. Access state of human dignity of all people: Ciet full description (VAK) of people as sacred, special, important, valuable, and fallible.

3. Distinguish person from behavior. Imagine making a dear-cut distinction in self and others between expressions of a person and their inner Being. What supportive beliefs would strengthen this?

4. Give yourself permission to rage against hurtful behaviors. Once you have permission, then rage against hurtful behaviors. Access the anger in order to draw boundaries against unacceptable behaviors without violating the person.

5. Give yourself permission to love/validale the person in spite of their hurtful behavior. Recognize their positive intent, access compassion for their limitations and fallibilities.

6. Release behaviors by refusing to over-value them. Access a state of "releasing," or "letting go." De-invest meaning and energy from the behavior. Access supporting beliefs. Become aware of your response-abilities in the matter of the hurt—a tempering awareness.

7. Integrate boundaries, compassion and releasing. Imagine the You who can establish and communicate effective boundaries, express firmness of character, and compassionately release hurts and bitternesses.

#65 The Allergy Cure Pattern

Concept. An allergic response involves the nervous system's adaptation as sneezing, coughing, skin reactions, etc., to a nontoxic element (the hair of a cat or dog, springtime pollens, etc.) or even to emotional subjects (criticism, certain person, etc.). Conceptually, we understand an allergy as a immune function that has made a mistake. The immune system has associated ("learned") to treat something non-dangerous ¿\s a threat. So our immune system attacks some harmless antigens as if they threaten us. Yet the body's immune system has simply made a mistake in its coding and cuing of its response. Many times allergies result from a psychological trauma.

This technology involves re-educating the immune system so that it stops attacking a non-toxic element and benign substances. Source: Andreas and Andreas (1989).

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