Flexibility Of Responses

Concept. This meta-level skill, or pattern, involves cultivating within ourselves (or others) more flexibility in responding. Contrast with the opposite—rigidity of response. This means that we constantly check the ongoing and current outcomes. When we discover a set of responses that we do not want, we "do something different." In so doing, we operate from the basic NLP Communication Guideline Principle:

The meaning of our communication lies in the response we get — regardless of our intention.

So when we discover that the response we receive differs from the response we want, we shift the triggers and stimuli that we offer. If we keep offering the same stimulus, time after time, we will get the same responses —and more of them!

The NLP model encourages our development of flexibility by presenting the realization that each person operates out of his or her own model of the world. And, however it works, it works. It may not work well. It may not work to achieve what the person wants, but it works.

NLP does not operate from a closed-system and rigid model that "human nature" is "the same" in all humans. Rather, NLP views each person as operating with and from a unique and idiosyncratic set of patterns. Depending upon how a person has constructed his or her reality, his or her responses make sense in that construction.

We thus begin by discovering and calibrating to that "reality" so that we can figure out how that particular system of meaning works. Once we have done the work o! calibrating and pacing, we ask the person to run an ecology check on their system. This allows them to discover and determine if their system of thoughts, beliefs, values, and programs works to enhance their life, or not. Obviously, this helps us to engage another person without imposing our beliefs, values, perceptions, etc. And in this process, it encourages active involvement, motivation, ownership, responsibility, etc. Overall, it makes for a respectful way to interact with others.

Our own flexibility develops as we recognize that everybody operates from a map of reality, that we all navigate and make decisions based on our maps, that most of our maps come from early childhood, and became installed through cultural, family, educational, religious osmosis—and that we humans typically do not know that our maps "are" not real in an external way. We typically grow up not questioning our thinking. Rather, we just assume that if we "think" something —it must "be" real! ("I think—therefore I am.")

To the extent then that we believe in our beließ, we have little flexibility. To the extent that we question our beliefs and recognize them as mental constructs (and inherently fallible), we develop greater flexibility and tentativeness. (By the way, both believing and questioning our beliefs describes a meta-state construction which we will present more fully later.)

The Focus Of The Meta-Pattems

In one sentence, the primary goal-directed focus of the NLP model involves moving a person from a present state to some solution state by clarifying the difficulty and bringing various resources to bear that will move Itim/her from the present state to lite outcome state.

This focus makes the entire process of applied human technology solution-oriented and resource-oriented. While problem origin, facets, and nature play an initial role in the process, we do not believe that we have to know the source of a problem to solve it. In fact, to develop too much of a problem consciousness tends to reinforce the problem causing us to focus on it. Rather than psycho-archaeology as we mentioned earlier (Bandler, 1975), we shift to a more positive solution outcome focus.

This outcome focus underscores the importance of becoming clear about our objectives and goals and the criteria that enable us to design well-formed solutions. It underscores the importance of thinking in terms of resources for bridging the gap:

• What resources do you need to reach your goal?

• What resources have you lacked that prevented you from moving there?

Overall, this approach creates a here-and-now focus so that what we do today, and how in this moment we use our "past" or our "future", how we map out reality, how much responsibility we assume, etc., become the primary concern.

Hypnosis Plain and Simple

Hypnosis Plain and Simple

These techniques will work for stage hypnosis or hypnotherapy, however, they are taught here for information purposes only. After reading this book you will have the knowledge and ability necessary to hypnotise people, but please do not practice hypnosis without first undergoing more intensive study.

Get My Free Ebook

Post a comment