The Tantalising Tapers

In addition to the routine which Max is supplying with these re-lighting tapers, I would like to pass along to readers a little doggerel which I have concocted and which will be found very amusing to an audience, as they watch the tapers being blown out and relighting themselves. The doggerel can be included at any stage of the routine and will add an extra minute to its time. Recite it slowly and deliberately, with pauses at the right spots (you will readily understand if you have purchased the tapers) and then plug the last line for all it is worth. Here is the doggerel.

Mary had two little lights,

She had them trained no doubt, For every time that John came in, Those little lights went out. (Blow tapers out)

When John and Mary tried to spoon

Their efforts were in vain, For when John tried to steal a kiss,

THOSE LIGHTS CAME ON AGAIN. (Time this line)

John and Mary were surprised

Their eyes they could not trust Said John, 'I'm getting quite annoyed, I'll blow them out—OR BUST!* (Blow tapers out)

But when the lights came on again

And John made such a din, Mary said 'Don't blow them out,

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