Ode To A Wouldbe Comic

To become a magician who's funny,

You'd better think ninety-nine times,

For it isn't like being a poet,

Or making some topical rhymes.

First think what you're going to look like;

A clown? Or a dazed sort of chap?

Will you wear a dress suit or look queer,

With a bowler or Harris tweed cap?

If you're slim, you'd best be a stoic;

If you're tubby, you'd best have a grin;

If you're neither, then study your gag book,

And soon you'll get fat or quite thin.

A comic can trade on his errors

(Inspired by Tom

And even "come on" all upset. He can bungle his tricks like a good 'un And even get into a pet. His wand may be awkward and wobbly, His aces may mount up to six, Yet the audience will love him, no matter, That Adam could do all his tricks. So keep a good heart Mr. Comic, And cleverly muddle your show, They'll love you for making them giggle When you come, when you're "on", when you go.

Harris)

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