Alex Cordon

There's great scope for ventriloquists to present an act in a somewhat different way to the usual 'figure on knee' position so here is a suggestion which should give ample opportunity for some good cross talk and fun.

Requirements.—Two chairs and a small table with a very large mallet, pliers, brace and bit, and any other 'instruments of torture' to add to the effect.

As the ventriloquist enters, the figure of a small boy is seen seated on a chair at the side of tF e stage, his head heavily bandaged as if suffering from a gum boil. Lifting the figure up, the vent places it on the other chair which should be centre stage.

"So you are the little boy who is suffering from tooth-ache? I'll soon put that right". Up to this point the figure has been unable to open his mouth on account of the bandage, but his eyes play a major part by moving from side to side and winking.

Taking the bandages off, the vent continues "Open your mouth. My word, your teeth are in a bad condition, and very dirty. Do you smoke?"

"Yes sir."

"Open your mouth again—Ah! what's this?"

Vent pulls out a long chain.

"Yes sir, I'm a chain smoker."

"Now, let me see. Do you prefer gas or (picking up the mallet) a local anaesthetic."

"If you're going to bash my brains out as well I think I'd better have gas! Expect I will lose my watch and wallet either way."

"I'll tell you what I will do, I will put you to sleep by hypnosis".

"Is he here as well".

"This bloke you call hip and noses".

"No you don't understand. What I am going to do is this. I am going to hypnotise you."

"Well you'd better be careful because there's a law against that sort of thing."

"In that case, I will cover your eyes with a handkerchief."

As the eyes are being bandaged the figure begins to talk: "The lady in the front row would like me to describe—"

"Please shut up, you're not going to do a mind-reading act."

From now onwards it is up to the vent to get all the comedy he can from the various instruments and as his back is to the audience liberties can be taken as far as lip movement is concerned.

The vent removes the bandages. "I've had a good look at your teeth and they appear to be in good condition, but what's this?"

As he says this, he places his hand in the mouth of the figure and pulls out a large balloon. This latter stunt is accomplished by means of a gadget sold by a dealer.

Continued from page 41.

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