Swish Into Confidence

The next technique is called the "swish" technique because you redirectionalize your brain as rapidly as you can make the "swish" sound. The specific instructions for how to do the technique will be given a bit later on.

Our minds are trained to go in a certain direction. They are encoded to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Sometimes, if we have not been consciously directing our minds, our minds gravitate toward less than resourceful behaviors. One of these behaviors is shyness. This pattern redirectionalizes the brain by saying to the mind, "Not shy, confident!"

If you act shy, you do it out of a pattern you've either consciously or unconsciously set up for yourself. There are triggers as to when to begin the shy pattern. For you, there is some time when you get a cue to begin acting shy. What we're going to do is to take that same cue and retrain yourself to be cued to be confident instead.

Think of a time when you act shy. Decide on what the initial cue is that lets you know it's time to be shy. For some people, arriving at a party full of strangers and looking at their foreign faces is a cue to begin acting shy. For others, seeing an attractive member of the opposite sex sit down nearby is their cue to act shy. Find out what your cue is. People do not randomly become shy. There is always a cue that precedes it.

For this technique, it's useful to understand a few terms. Associated means that you're looking through your own eyes, hearing with your own ears, and are feeling whatever is in your body. Dissociated means that you are looking at yourself from a third person perspective as if you're watching yourself on a mental movie screen.

Now that you've discovered the cue that has lead to unresourceful states, experience that cue from an associated (first person) position. Practice making the picture of what you see smaller, darker, and farther away. Take the normal picture and make it small, dark, and really far away as fast as you can say out loud, "swish!" Do this enough times until you feel you can make the picture of when you're about to be shy and make it disappear very quickly.

Following that, picture a dissociated (third person perspective) image of your ideal self. Picture yourself and how you want to behave instead of how you currently do. See that strong, confident body language, facial expressions, and gestures, and make sure that when you think about your ideal self, you feel really motivated to be that way. If you don't feel a strong sense of motivation, then adjust the image of your ideal self until you do. Make this picture small, dark, and far away at first, and practice making this picture really big, really bright, and really close as rapidly as you can say out loud, "swish!" Practice this enough times until you can do it easily.

Now what we're going to do is retrain your mind so that whenever it experiences the cue image, it will automatically flash to the ideal self and therefore draw you into being your ideal self. When you've done this successfully, you will see the trigger that used to make you shy and immediately experience an unconscious shift into more confidence.

Close your eyes and see the cue image in the forefront of your mind. See it big, bright, and close up, just like you would if you were experiencing it for real. In the lower right hand corner, see the ideal self-image as smaller, darker, and farther away. While you make the "swish" sound, immediately flip the two pictures so that the cue image becomes small, dark, far away, and disappears as the ideal self image becomes really big, really bright, and really close. Do make the "swish" sound as you do this exercise because it will help you unconsciously move the pictures around.

Pause for a moment, open your eyes to clear your mind, and then reset the pictures so that you see the cue image big and close and your confident self in the lower right hand corner. Then make the "swish" sound as you transpose them in the same way you did previously. Continue to repeat this pausing, resetting, and "swishing" of pictures until you can simply look at the cue image and your brain automatically gravitates toward the ideal self-image. That's how you know you've been successful in retraining your mind.

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