My Search For Solutions

I began searching for answers. Finally, I guaranteed myself that I would become confident in whatever I wanted to do. I will gain confidence. Ultimately, it was the experience of me breaking out of my shell that gave me the confidence. For me, it was talking to women. I decided that I would approach every single woman I saw! At first, I would simply smile at them. And you know what? They responded. Not all of them but enough to encourage me to expand my comfort zone a little further. This small success catapulted me to the next step in me expanding my comfort zone. Next, I would approach women and simply say "Hi." Again, this slight widening of my comfort zone encouraged me. After all, I was an adult and had to take care of my confidence myself.

I had two choices. I could either retreat back to my comfort zone and be shy, blaming someone else for making me that way. Or I could take responsibility and go for it. When my confidence really grew, I got to the point where I could meet women and gain instant rapport with them, conversing with them at ease. You'll learn the techniques I use later in this book.

One specific example of me being painfully shy was with a woman at my college, named Allison. She was breathtaking, tall, thin, and athletic. She intrigued me. I would walk by her and smile to her. She smiled back at me too. For other men with more confidence, they naturally would have taken this as a signal to approach her. I knew what I wanted to do, I knew what I should do (approach her), I just didn't know how. And it was extremely frustrating. I was literally paralyzed with fear and incapacitated. I would go to all of her volleyball games just to watch her play. She was awesome. I wanted to talk to her so badly since I had a huge crush on her. When I look back on it, I think it's too bad I did not have the confidence to talk. Fortunately, I have the confidence now and you will too by the time you finish reading this book and doing the exercises.

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