All you need to do is to apply the following rules:

1. Accept that you will never remember interpretations for all the possible subjects and instead develop a method of consistently producing some likely sounding meaning. Decide on a policy: for instance, all references to animals have to do with career moves or all dreams about fish are about your sex life - and stick to it.

2. Ask lots of very detailed questions about the dream. Never let them say "I dreamt about a cow." Always ask what kind of cow it was. Was it in a field? Was it fat or thin? Was it beef or dairy? Never mind if you can't think of any significance to the fact that it was a thin Ayrshire in the middle of the Stock Exchange. The mere fact that you have asked all these questions makes it look as if you have a specific interpretation for each answer.

3. Pick out something as being particularly significant. For instance you could insist on knowing the colour of everything in the dream. Then you could have a simple colour code to give you an idea to hang your interpretation on. For example: green = intuition or fruitfulness; red = passion or sinfulness, black = evil, blue = purity, pale puce = an over-fanciful imagination. Statistics show that most people (especially men) dream a lot in black and white so you can cover yourself nicely if a prediction is proved wrong.

4. Have pat answers for dreams of the things people commonly dream about: parts of the body, journeys, etc. They are liable to ask you about the same dream twice so you don't want to be caught out being inconsistent. Keep them simple and easy to remember. For instance dreaming about your ears could mean you were going to get some news. But still ask all the questions. For example sore ears could mean bad news or cauliflower ears would mean that you have to be sceptical about what you heard.

instance dreaming of a sore stomach is traditionally interpreted as a sign of good health, dreaming of an amputation means a useful gain, and dreaming of your own death means a change for the better. Maybe they know something we don't know.

6. Never make your interpretations too obvious. Think obliquely. For instance if you are faced with a dream about falling off a roof the immediate inclination is to predict disaster. The proper interpretation is "a temporary success". It's obvious when you think about it: you'll succeed in staying alive until you hit the

professionals. For professionals. For ground. The traditional meaning given to dreaming about being a different sex is "an improvement for the better". They obviously know something we don't know.

7. Never give an interpretation just on one symbol. Get six or seven and then build them into a little story. You don't dry up so easily that way and it is far more difficult for the querent to remember all the details and thus catch you out at a later date.

Obscurityrating- 7/10 Artistic interpretation - 9/10 Technical merit- 3/10

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