Three paddles are shown, one 'blank' on both sides is placed aside. A second is shown to have a picture of 'Fred' on 'both' sides, actually a drawing of a pillow with a ginger headed mans face upon it. The third a similar pinkish pillow with a dark haired girls face upon it.
The reverse of 'Freds' paddle only has a duplicate empty pillow. The reverse of 'Nellys' bears a pillow with both heads, his and hers, facing each other. The third has a pillow with three crying babes heads.
You use the paddles as the patter suggests. A bit too blue for all audiences perhaps but at the right time and at the right place a very rewarding chuckle.
The trick was shown to me by Harry Baron in 19?? (it couldn't have been that long ago), the patter came a little later and is by yours truly.
A story of a boy called Fred Who bought himself a brand new bed. Fred's girl friend who's called Virginia Nell Also had a bed as well.
Virginia Nell now made so bold To tell Fred that her bed was cold. So Fred went round to try it out But didn't wait for Nell to get out.
Virginia Nell began to wriggle Then pretty soon she started to giggle "Ooh Fred" said Nell "I can feel something bumpy,
It's round and soft and rather lumpy."
"It must be a broken spring" said Fred And started groping around in the bed "I've found it" said Fred and gave it a press "Ooh Fred" said Nell you've got hold of my
"I like it" said Fred, then "Nell, don't you see, The lumps you are feeling Are belonging to me."
Nell said to Fred "You remember I told You a while ago that my bed was so cold" Fred said to Nelly "What utter rot In fact I find it too darned hot."
So Fred jumped out of bed and got such a fright, HE Found that sweet Nell wasn't wearing a nightie
And thought he must have been dreaming instead.
Now it's happened again And I'm sorry to say
I can't seem to get Nell and Freddie away (Ah — I've managed it.)
Now things like this can lead to bad habits And soon Fred and Nell were acting like rabbits
Especially when it's used as a double. And Nell said one day "Fred I'm feeling quite funny, I fancy strange things — and just look at my tummy!"
So Freddie and Nell got rapidly wed And thoughtfully provided another bed. The vicar said "Virginia Nell, do you take this man to be "
"Hold it" said Fred "she's now just Nelly to me."
This little tale sometimes causes some laughter
But with magic you see there's a happy hereafter
The end of my story, (show blank paddle) I'm glad to relate
Ended with happiness (cover with hand) IN TRIPLICATE (reveal the kids)
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