Yourself as a Player

Power Quadrant System

Tips for Starting Over and Rebooting Your Life

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^^^ne of the damndest principles in all of life is that wretched one which insists that the rich get richer while the poor simply get poorer. You only have to look around at nearly every aspect of how society operates in order to observe its effects in action. For those already doing well financially, there seems always an anxious banker or drooling businessman standing ready to push still another opportunity at them so they can make more money (that they hardly need), while some joker slaving away for minimum wage works himself to the bone for every single dollar he can wring out of his miserable job without anyone ever giving him a shot at some easy money. An actor who already has more movie offers than he can handle will have directors and studios pestering him relentlessly to take on their pet project, while the struggling actor can't scare up a walkthrough bit part in a B movie to save his life. And so it goes.

Well, as one of life's major losers in the arena of love, sex and romance, I don't have to tell you that this principle operates with remarkable precision in the dating and mating game. The "Rich" (i.e. guys who are already getting more action than they can handle) always seem to be encountering a constant stream of opportunities to become romantically entangled with new women, while the "Poor" (guys who couldn't buy a date with a woman) never so much as catch a hint of interest from any chick. Sound familiar? Did you ever notice how women always seem to want to flirt with any guy who appears to be hanging out with his girlfriend, or maybe just talking to some other girl in a bar? Meanwhile, the schlep who's standing around by himself looking for anyone to talk to may as well have the goddamn Bubonic Plague!

While there may be a variety of reasons for this near universal state of affairs -some of which have to do with only wanting to eat from someone else's plate like a spoiled little brat (which describes the character of many women, incidentally) -- I personally believe that the major motivation for this catty female behavior is simply that women look to other women for clues about the acceptability of men as mating partners. One of the most important of these clues is merely the romantic interest that another women expresses in a man. In other words, the more women seem to be interested in a guy, the more interesting he becomes to the other women surrounding him. To a certain degree, women want to steal each other's men!

Can you see how this "me too" behavior assures that the rich just keep getting richer? It's like our friends the Rock Stars who have to beat the groupies off with a stick (while you just get to beat off... period). The adoration of a group of deranged women catches hold and spreads like wildfire throughout legions of girls, almost as if they're hypnotized (actually, they are... self-hypnotized). This phenomenon has displayed itself from Elvis to Michael Jackson to Ricky Martin and will probably continue to do so until we're all dead and gone.

Men typically don't act this way around women rock stars because their status as successful performers is not impressive to men. In fact, female fame and success can be downright intimidating. Only the physical attractiveness and sex appeal of a females is enticing to the male. This points out in crystal clear fashion something that you will come to understand about women or that I will die trying to teach you: Women are not impressed with male appearance (so long as you maintain good hygiene and style) nearly as much as they are impressed with your perceived status on that mysterious male dominance scale that I referred to before, and that we'll discuss at length in Chapter 3.

Therefore, one of your primary goals in moving up the ladder from loser to chooser is to be viewed by the women around you as a "player". All sorts of good things will begin to fall your way once you establish this impression of yourself in their minds. Did you ever wonder why none of your female friends ever fix you up with their cute cousins when they're available? Probably because they don't see you as being a player. You've got to work on changing that perception of yourself if you would like to see a galaxy of romantic opportunities open up in your life.

You see, one of the strange, inverted rules of life (that people who complain they never get a break don't seem to grasp) is that the universe will always strive to help people who try to help themselves. When people sense that you are genuinely struggling with some kind of problem in your life, they will come out of the woodwork with all sorts of offers to lend a hand. "The Lord Helps Those that Help Themselves" goes the old saying, and the truth of this wisdom extends to all areas of life, not just the subject of this book. Once your friends and associates get the notion that you're a player and working the dating field aggressively, you suddenly become "thought of" in that sense when people are considering hook-ups for their single friends, or women spread the word of your availability along through the female gossip grapevine. Now you become the center of attention whenever opportunities present themselves!

In order to reach this high point in your social development, you're going to have to bootstrap yourself up from shy loner to "Mr. Popular" and you'll have only yourself to rely on in the beginning. Your task is to practice what you learn in a step-by-step fashion and just try to keep making steady progress as you study the techniques in this book. At some point when you least expect it, people will come to see that you have become "for real", and they will quite suddenly throw their weight behind your cause. You must have faith that the process will gain momentum and take on a life of its own after a while.

This was actually one of the most pleasant of surprises of my own personal transformation when I finally got wise to the ways of flirting and seduction, and I'm sure that it will be one of yours too.

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