Now we're getting into the good stuff... the nuts-and-bolts of the "pick-up". I like to consider what I teach as seduction, even though you probably won't be getting laid out in the parking lot with these techniques (although you might -- some women go nuts when they run across a man who actually knows what the hell he's doing!) Yes, that's right... you will soon be entering an elite brotherhood of men. Having romantically meaningful conversations with women is the moat you will need to cross in order to gain membership. Women require courting. If you can't talk to 'em, you ain't gettin' nowhere.
However, having said all that, talking is not the first thing that you ever want to do when you are sniffing around with the thought of seducing a woman. This of course is the essence of your paralyzing problem with rejection... i.e., your fear of saying the "wrong thing" and thus making a complete ass of yourself. Guys in general, and particularly guys like you and me (over-thinkers), get all bent out of shape trying to come up with the perfect opening line... the icebreaker, the stunningly clever witticism, that will make her swoon and tumble into a helpless love trance. I've been there, and so have you. You run through a scan of possible dialogs and ruthlessly reject each one as inappropriate, ignorant or stupid. There's nothing that seems to fit the situation or the girl in question. Unable to dream up the perfect line, we withdraw and fade away... our throats choked shut with tension and fear. It would've never worked out anyway, right?
But by focusing so much on the super-critical "pick-up line", we only place enormous pressure on ourselves to create something amazingly fluent on the spot -precise dialog that a screenwriter in Hollywood might labor over for days and re-write ten times over in order to get perfect for his fictitious characters. Listen, it can't be done. We will always wilt under this tremendous strain and simply clam up every time.
Do you want to know what the real irony is concerning the dilemma of the perfect pick-up line though?
Women hate pick-up lines. They think they're stupid, contrived and for the most part completely ignore them. Her emotions get so spiked when she suddenly realizes that some guy is trying to make romantic contact with her that she usually doesn't even hear what the fuck he's saying anyway! How's that for a swift kick in the balls... all that pain and agony pulling up the courage to say something that we pray is even halfway clever or funny and the whole exercise is for nothing. Women shrug off our cleverest lines as stupid pick-up bullshit!
What they notice more than anything else is the intent of what we are trying to do, i.e., meet them. The intent communicated by our actions is a far bigger deal than the actual words we use!
Did you get what I just said? The real communication isn't to be found in the verbal part of our interaction with women (the goofy pick-up line), but in the non-verbal statement of our intent to meet them. Women tend to invariably "read between the lines" of whatever a man's actually saying and search for the hidden meaning behind his cloud of words. It's the non-verbal signals coming from a man that are always assigned the most weight by women. This seemingly academic little tidbit of information is something that I'll bet 95% of men don't completely understand or give any credence to. They think it's their clever "rap" that makes all the difference in either scoring with women or bombing out. When instead, it's the silent intent that lies behind their babbling that's being read and deciphered by the women they are trying to impress!
This fact of mating life gives you an important clue as to the proper way to conduct yourself around the women you find attractive. This is why every book out there on the subject of meeting women -- including this one -- keeps relentlessly hammering away at the notion of attitude, attitude, ATTITUDE! Yes I know, you're fuckin' sick of it already. You don't have any natural confidence with women so you don't project this kind of sexy "he-man" attitude like all the tough guys, con artists and various other slick bastards out there. That's why they're out there scoring like crazy and you're home beating your meat. Well let's see if we can't begin to find an immediate work-around for this problem... a genuine solution that will suit a non-aggressive male like yourself.
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