Tf you're the kind of guy who's been getting rejected by women all his life, you may've come to the conclusion that most or even all of them absolutely delight in shutting guys down. They relish the opportunity to bait some nerd into asking them out for a date so they can humiliate him, preferably in public, by viciously crushing his ego flat as a pancake with as much malice as they can possibly summon. They'll teach you to dare try and ask them out for a date. They're going to make you pay for the way Johnny Bad Boy broke their heart in sixth grade. They will show you who is really the more powerful sex by whipping your skinny ass into total submission.
But stop and think about it for a second, how would it serve women to have all the men in the world walking around with their tails tucked between their legs? What for? So they can bitch to their girlfriends about how all men are a bunch of useless pussies who don't even have the courage to say hello to them any more? Not only wouldn't this state of affairs make any sense -- since women are generally more interested in playing the game of romance than men are and need someone to play with -- it simply just isn't reality. I don't care what part of the world you're in... women long for love and affection, and for that they require the men out there to be interested in the sport of romance. It's quite possible that your bitterness over the long string of rejections you've gathered up has blinded you to this reality. The generalizing that all women love to reject and put down men (unless they happen to be rich or rock stars) is just a defense mechanism created to protect your ego. At least that's how it probably started out. The danger is that it may have grown into a full blown philosophy of life by now and, if so, then it's been slowly poisoning your personality right through to the core.
I'm warning you about this because I've "been dere done dat" with this sort of twisted psychology. Your biggest adversary in all this is located within your own brain. That means the enemy (fear) is already inside your armor and doing damage to your cause. The grandest battle of all will be fought with yourself, even though you probably hate to hear that. Much of the attitude change that you'll need to undergo has to do with short circuiting the hardened ideas you have developed about the motives of women. It's possible that much of your resentment stems from the fact that women seem to establish the rules of seduction... but then neglect to publish what the hell they are! It's left up to us guys (who have better things to think about, like football) to figure out how we're supposed to behave in order to make any headway with them!
The problem is that this discovery process involves trial and error and necessitates a painful rejection with every false move. If you have a low tolerance for rejection to begin with, then the need to avoid it becomes more important than perfecting your flirting-seducing-mating skills. You may give up on the process long before your training is complete and can begin to reap the rewards of your efforts. You stop learning, and your stunted development precludes any further success... insuring a high probability of continued rejection. Since the rejection pain now overwhelms whatever drive you might have to meet women, you withdraw completely. Withdrawal is the worst thing you can do because as your skills atrophy your attitude follows along with it. Now you're beginning to take on all the characteristics of the low level submissive male, and women will show less and less interest in you. See how this damn thing slowly spirals out of control?
One of the ways in which guys get totally fouled up with women is by failing to understand that seduction is really a very elaborate sales process, and, rather than concentrate on selling the product, they focus instead on how badly they need to make the sale. Here's an analogy... imagine you're wasting a perfectly good Saturday morning gabbing with a car salesman, but instead of filling you in on all the wonderful benefits of owning the shiny new Nissan you happen to be checking out, he's wining on about how much he needs you to buy this car so he can pay his rent and feed his kids. You would expect the guy to be belching out statistics and features and appealing to your emotions by painting a picture of you behind the wheel... cruising down an open country road with the convertible top down. He should be trying to get you jazzed up about making a buying decision by unleashing a flood of reasons why your life would be greatly improved if you purchase this car today. Any good salesman knows that he sells most effectively by demonstrating what's in it for you, the customer. Instead, by pissing and moaning about how they're going to fire his ass if he doesn't move a few more cars to make quota, so could you please buy this car, boo-hoo-hoo... this goofball is focusing on what's in it for him.
So tell me, which approach seems better? What's in it for you... or what's in it for him? Yeah I thought so. You honestly couldn't give a shit about him making quota or paying his rent. What's in it for him is of no interest to you -- you're only going to part with your hard earned loot if he can convince you that new Nissan is something that you can't live without. Something that puts stars in your eyes! A way for you to look cool behind a new set of wheels! Would you buy a car from some chump who only appealed to your sympathy to help him out? No way! You'd essentially tell him to go fuck himself. If there's nothing in this deal for me, I'm not interested.
This is how all people think, no matter what they tell you differently. Everybody is in it for Number #1. They are always asking themselves the question "what's in it for me?" dozens of times a day whether they know it or not. Everyone is fundamentally selfish in this way. Self interest, actually is the proper term for it... and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being so. It's human nature. Capitalism works because it harnesses the awesome power of individual self-interest. Communism failed because it tries to deny it's existence. People work to reap the rewards of their own efforts in a very personal way... not for the common good of "mankind". Humans are not worker bees in a hive laboring only to support the community. Sorry, that's not how it works. People have hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals. They fantasize about their future and will leap at anything that looks like it will help advance their life situation, and reject or avoid whatever threatens to diminish the status of their own private universe.
When you engage in seduction, you are really embarked on a sales process (Chap 3 -- Pg. 54)
whereby you are the product being sold. You have to sell yourself by demonstrating the benefits you will bring into her life. You have to give her reasons why accepting you into her heart is going to enhance her life. What's in it for her?... you have to answer this question!
If instead you come off as being whiny and desperate, it only exposes the fact that your focus is mainly on what's in it for you... i.e., sex, love, a feeling of being normal, an end to your loneliness and isolation, a trophy to show off to your friends, etc. In other words, you see her only as a means for an advancement of your own selfish goals. This is dehumanizing. Why? Because anyone could theoretically serve this purpose, there's nothing to make the particular women whom you've come to focus your interest on feel special in any way. You're acting exactly like the callus, crooked car salesman who's begging you to buy some jalopy just so he can get his hands on a fucking commission. Guess what? She will do to you precisely what you would do to the slimy salesman... she tells you to go fuck off. She rejects you! And for the very same reasons... you have no regard for how she's supposed to benefit from the transaction. That's no way to go around selling yourself... and the boot marks all over your ass is proof!
Before this gets any worse, let me show you how you can skip a lot of these fearful trial-and-error learning processes and do the best things possible to aid your cause. Here's seven ways that women wish that men would act. If guys would only be and behave like this, women would be more than willing to drop all pretenses of aloofness and take up the dance of seduction with all of us at every opportunity we gave them.
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