Once you believe that you've picked up on her thinking style, your follow-up move is to make a conscious effort to use language that supports it -giving her the perception that you too take in the world through a similar experience of your physical senses just like she does. This confers a powerful sense of connection between the two of you on a subliminal or unconscious level, making such feelings profoundly hypnotic because it slips beneath the judgmental radar of the conscious Mind. For example, consider the rare (10%) kinesthetically-centered girl that we just spoke of. She is likely very sentimental and relies heavily on her emotional interpretation of events to create and process memories. The tendency to think in this way has always placed her a little bit out of the mainstream though. She's always felt something of an outsider. A little uncertain of how she's supposed to fit in with the rest of the world. Depending on how old she is, she may or may not have come to grips with the constellation of feelings surrounding her relationships with others as seen through the prism of this type of unique mental identity.
All that aside, this tidbit of 'inside' knowledge about her thinking preference provides you with an opportunity to make a strong, almost magical connection. Simply by modifying your choice of words as you talk, you can give a kinesthetic girl the sense that she's finally met someone who understands her... a kindred spirit. I'm sure I don't have to hammer you about how indispensable having this kind ofpsychological connection can be! Even when a woman has a one-night stand with a guy, she feels that she's made some type of instantaneous connection with the lucky dude. Otherwise she would've never let it happen. This deep, unexplainable, invisible 'something' that seems to reach out through space and favorably connect two people together as if they were magnets, is what is commonly called Chemistry. Well, I've just defined chemistry for you... it's just a whole lot of thought-pattern matching! Simply by being observant to the clues she sends with her eyes, you can establish this 'chemistry' artificially merely by changing the way in which you speak. It's done like this:
Back to our Deadhead concert example - "I remember feeling the warm buzz going through the crowd that night just before they took the stage... it was like everything was in perfect harmony and there was just such a cozy peacefulness about the entire evening that made me wish it would never end..." Wow man! Totally awesome. This might sound like a bunch of hippie hooey to you, but the important thing is that by making use of the words that I've highlighted, you've just demonstrated a tendency to think with your feelings and emotions first. Just like her! If you've correctly read her eye movements and identified her as a kinesthetic-type thinker, then you can be sure she's buzzing with the idea that she might have stumbled upon a kindred spirit. She won't be thinking this precisely of course -- but she'll have a 'sixth sense' about it. That's as it should be, because the most effective type of persuasion is always subliminal.
Listen, I know some of you might be thinking this is unethical, but even if you're not really a kinesthetic or an auditory thinker, there's no harm in modifying your words in order to establish a groundwork of connectedness with a woman that you can build on later. Remember, when meeting women that 2 minute first impression has to be killer because it's really all that you've got. Later on as she gets to know you, your shared experiences will endear you further, and you can both build your relationship on more genuine ground. But that kind of "future possibility" stuff doesn't help you right now. At the moment of first encounter, you only have one chance to make a knockout impression and very little time to work with, so you'd better make it good. I'm assuming that you're not rich, handsome or famous (if you are, then why the hell are you reading this book?...) so the only thing left for you is to create a favorable sense of connection to her with your words.
You have to ring her bell somehow or you're going to get the boring guy brush-off. Then your shame will come swimming up out of the black depths to bite you on the ass, and you'll be scuttling back under your shell for another year. I've been there I know how this works. Don't ever think that you're being harmfully manipulative merely because you're putting on a bit of a charade for her benefit. That's just your crummy toxic shame manifesting itself as self-righteousness i.e., 'Since I'm better than everyone else, I'm above "cheating" in order to get what I want from women.' No you're not. That's raw bullshit. It's exactly that kind of thinking that's kept you off the playing field your whole life. Now it's time to get over it and join the land of the living.
Look, every great pick-up artist is smooth with the words, and you know what? The women love it! That's right, all women understand there's a degree of BS going on when guys hit on them... it's all part of the game. Remember, Romance is a Trance... you have to weave a spell with your words, style and dominant male attitude in order to begin forging the psychological bonds that will hopefully grow into a long-term love affair.
In that spirit, here's a few more ideas to keep in mind... after you've connected non-verbally, tamed your shame, and gotten a bit of a snappy conversation going. You're harmless and interested in her, right? Listening for your Lifelines? Well, don't think you've got it made just because you actually got her to start talking to you. There's a big difference between pointless chatter and a guided seduction! To wit:
Influence a woman's imagination not just with your words, but by deepening the tones of your voice every so often. Drop your voice once every couple sentences (slightly) as you make your point. Be careful, however, not to come off sounding like Bella Lagosi the vampire! Also, pause once in a while (again, not too much) to get her hanging on your words just a bit. If you need an example of what I'm talking about, check out the lead character Ned Racine played by William Hurt in the movie Body Heat (1981, rent it, it's a really good story) and observe how he chats up Kathleen Turner. Study the way he plays this sleazy, Miami lawyer -- now there's a guy with a seductive come on!
Conversational give and take should always be intended to invoke thoughts and feelings, not just consist of a lot of senseless blather. How to do it? Any kind of question that requires a peek into her deep memory is profoundly hypnotic because it forces her to move away from her rational mind.
Women long to feel a deep sense of connection with a man... you have to feed this desire within her unconscious mind. Do it by moving her though increasingly more intensely erotic sensations until she actually begins to take over the seduction from you!
Falling in love is something that we do to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts when we're alone. During the interlude between your next encounter with her, she should be daydreaming about you and gradually convincing herself that you're a great guy with lots of relationship potential. Maybe she'll even go off the deep end and completely fall for you! Make sure that you re-enforce these fantasy images when you're together on subsequent dates by continuing to be charismatic and charming. (In other words, see if you can suppress the urge to impress her with your astonishing variety of armpit farts now that she's become your "girlfriend"). Get it?
Don't Let What You Imagine to be Her Social Situation Stop You
Almost all really great looking women are involved with some guy most of the time, but not all of them seriously. And that's the important key to seducing great looking women... you must not be put off by the fact that she could be involved with someone else... because they're usually ALL involved with someone else! Attractive women don't spend a great deal of their time floundering around between relationships (like us nerds). Instead they are often in some kind of relationship, even if it's just a casual dating deal, always testing to see if this guy's the 'one'. A beautiful woman's dating and mating dilemma does not consist of finding someone -- anyone -- to go out with her (like us social cowards), her problem is locating a suitable male. They're searching for that knockout dominant male who can give them the kind of terrific emotional states that they crave!
So don't let the excuse that "she's probably already got a boyfriend" stop you from flirting with a foxy chick that catches your eye. They'll always be flattered by a classy approach and willing to entertain your 'sales pitch'. The only exception is if they're newly married -- then they send out STAY AWAY signals all over the place to every guy on the planet. Piss on these happy-ass bitches, just move on to better hunting grounds.
Or just check back with her in 5 years after "Romeo" has lost all his charm and she might be looking for some action on the side! (How's that for cynical?)
Don't Judge, Be Profound
One of the worse things you can do around a woman is to start acting all opinionated and judgmental about everything she says. Your know-it-all act doesn't fly, but she sure will... right out the door! Be careful not to come across as the type of guy who's so certain his view of things is correct that he's constantly telling people that they "should" do this and "should" do that. I know I said this already, but it's such a common faux pas I'm saying it again. It might be such a bad habit that you don't even realize you're doing it... turning people off every day with amazing efficiency. Take some time to assess how you interact with your friends and family. Try to step outside yourself and objectively observe your behavior for any chronically obnoxious habits such as this. If you find any, put a sock in it.
No girl likes having her opinions summarily rejected by a guy, it shows that he sees women as mindless little children who need to be moved around and shown how to do everything. No decent woman will put up with that kind of disrespectful horseshit any more.
If you must, offer up your wisdom in a non-intrusive way that gets people to think about things from a different perspective. Don't try to force others into accepting your viewpoint, lure them over by to your camp gently offering a way of seeing things through your own unique experience of life. No one has a lock on the best way to view and do everything (except me). The classiest way to endear yourself to someone is to validate their point of view by being open-minded enough to accept advice from them.
Have an air of wonderment about you, but strike a balance. You don't have to pretend to be a befuddled dumb ass to seem like the kind of easy-going guy she'd like to get to know better. Just don't start acting like her "I-don't-want-to-hear-it-cause-I-know-everything-there-is-to-know" father either!
People are absolutely starved for touch in this uptight, politically correct world that we live in - and a touch shared between a man and a woman sends a very powerful, primal signal. The very best kind of non-verbal signal. Of course I'm talking about a light, friendly touch in a socially proper spot like her arm, shoulder or upper back -- not some lecherous grope! The absolute perfect situation occurs when she touches you first. This is a clear signal that she's willing to up the ante (that all-important escalation, which we'll discuss in greater detail in chapter 6) and take the potential seduction further.
She might be shy or unwilling to do so however, therefore you'll have to settle for the second best deal which is you initiating the touch. Only touch her one time, lightly and for a few seconds duration. Try to slip in this casual touch as a natural part of the conversation you're having... as if you're swept up in whatever you're talking about and you just felt the need to feel the warmth of her body without really thinking about the consequences. You should perform the touch nonchalantly without fanfare as if you're old friends. But be sure to hold eye contact and give her just the slightest, knowing smile while you're doing it.
Don't let the casualness of this action fool you into thinking that it doesn't have any impact. She understands what you are saying: I am interested in you as a Man! Not as a buddy boy or a eunuch, a man. This fact is extremely important to establish as early as possible. I'm sure you know the consequences of not doing so since you probably have a long list of friend girls and a short one of ex-girl friends. Know what I mean? One major reason for that is that you failed to establish a man-woman sexual based interest with her right at the outset, and so she pigeonholed you in the sexually-neutral "buddy" category in short order. And once you get yourself trapped in that prison there is no 'get out ofjail' card to be had. That's why I keep hammering away at the importance of the first impression... it's absolutely decisive to your chances of having any future relationship-style success with her.
Touch is a compelling tool when you need to establish your "manly" interest in her right away -- it sends a clear and unmistakable signal that you're not willing (as a High Status Male) to tolerate becoming her buddy boy. This is a critical aspect of the proper dominant male attitude that you should always be striving to exhibit. Use the power of touch, but use it properly.
At some point where you sense it might be appropriate, casually invade her personal space for just a moment to get a read of what she thinks of you. Lean into her while talking, or step in closer for a few seconds. This creates a sense of intimacy that she'll either react to favorably, by holding her ground or leaning into you even closer (yeah!), or by stepping back and recovering her space. The later means you're either coming on too strong, or you stink, or whatever. Not good. In any case, it allows you to either adjust your approach or to cut bait and move on without further waste of your time. It's a nice way to get some feedback on what's happening between the two of you chemistry-wise, only make sure you don't do it too soon before she gets a chance to get a sense of who you are -- otherwise she'll certainly flee and you'll be standing there talking to yourself like an asshole. This stuff is all common sense, so just use your head.
Checking out her bod is a great way to demonstrate that you're a real man who appreciates her female charms -- but you've got to do it just right. You know that ogling and leering at a woman is impolite, and in a situation where you're trying to impress her it's downright suicidal to your chances of making out. Keep trying to stare down her shirt like that and you'll soon be watching her ass as it sashays away into the sunset. Here's the secret: you have to move fast. Look fast, actually. And, more importantly, you have to get caught looking. That's right, you're doing this to communicate your growing interest and desire in her sexually, so she has to see what you're doing in order to get the signal.
The correct way to sneak this highly-charged 'peek' is to pick a moment when you're standing facing each other engrossed in conversation. When the chit-chat lulls for a second, break eye contact and sweep your eyes down her body, and then back up to her eyes. Let your eyes wander for only about 3 or 4 seconds, then go back and lock into a steady eye contact with her. Don't leer or stare! The idea is to let her see you appreciating her body. Make it seem as if you just couldn't resist snooping at her goods because she's so foxy and you just slipped up for a moment. This communicates your sexual interest better than anything you could possibly say, and beats the hell out of any kind of "you've-got-a-great-body" compliment that you could possibly lay on her.
Now she knows that you're a man with potential desires for her, but you're also a classy gentleman because you "caught" yourself and didn't leer at her like some horny lamebrain. She'll allow you this one slip-up. Trust me she'll be more than a bit flattered, and most importantly, you've taken a giant step away from the Buddy Zone. Either this thing between the two of you will now grow into a romance or it won't -- but she's been put on notice - non-verbally - that you will not accept being her ball-busted "friend".
So much of the communication between men and women remains unspoken, even after you've actually begun talking. You have to be aware of the signals she's sending you and adjust your performance accordingly. Don't just stand there like a damn rube, blabbing away, lost in your own brilliance... watch her and observe how she's reacting to your approach. Here's some things to look for:
Positive Signs - She holds your eye contact & smiles; primps her hair or plays with a lock of it; straightens up her posture (to make her breasts look bigger); breaks eye contact by looking down, then away; tilts her head 'cutesy' style; mirrors your movements or stance; narrow, bright eyes; holds her body facing you straight on.
Negative Signs - Fleeting eye contact; body turned sideways away from you, dull, uninterested eyes; crossed arms or legs; sagged posture; nervous tapping; head held high.
Most of this stuff is common sensical and you probably recognize a lot of it unconsciously already. The thing to remember about body language is that you should always look for two or more of these signals grouped together in order to get a truly accurate read. Isolated signs aren't always that reliable. I don't like to harp on body language too much because most of it is obvious and I'm not sure how useful it really is when it comes to seduction. Unless you're a complete simpleton, I'm sure you can tell if a girl is warming up to your approach or if she's blowing you off with the cold shoulder. Just stay alert.
Don't EVER Break the Trance
The Trance of Romance, that is. I know a guy who starts to come on to a woman as if he's trying to pick her up, then makes a joke about the whole thing by admitting what's he's doing, like... "isn't this all so stupid how men and women behave? Why don't we just skip all this talking bullshit and just fuck? I'm only after one thing, I admit it... don't you like my honesty?" Needless to say, this guy is a royal asshole who never gets laid -- and the really sad thing is he probably could once in a while if he didn't feel the arrogant need to demonstrate that he's "above" all this courting ritual and romance bullshit. It's for all the rest of us little people to occupy ourselves with... he can't be bothered. This guy displays the classic Disabled Will - he imagines himself godlike and transcended beyond all these tiresome mating games that us puny little humans must endure and won't participate in them.
Of course, what he's really scared to death of is being rejected... so he deliberately crashes and burns any seduction before it can reach the point where he's in danger of becoming vulnerable to the woman's judgement of him. No mortal may be allowed to judge him, after all! But the 'Romance Trance' is important to women and it's not to be trifled with. This is what they fantasize about -- in the same way that all us horny bastards dream about having sex with every hot chick we see strolling down the street. To diminish and mock it in this way will gain you nothing but the eternal scorn of every woman you meet. Imagine if some chick came right out and told you that she hates sex and would never dream of ever having sex with any guy, even if he married her. Still want to take me out, big boy?... Yeah right. Talk about a complete turn off. You'd split away from her without so much as a wave goodbye. Why? Because, once stripped of her sexual allure in this way, a woman becomes completely uninteresting. Well that's how you become to her when you blow off the Trance of Romance like it's all a lot of stupid horseshit!
Anyway, if you're this deep into self-sabotage and flopping around in your toxic shame like a muddy hog, why don't you just stay in your room and watch pornos all day and just forget about ever getting a real woman? Spare us all the pain of watching you play out your ridiculous charades.
Just like a great comedian makes his exit while the audience is still in stitches, you should make a exit on your terms while your stock is still high. Don't drag things out because you're so happy to be getting a positive reaction from her that you end up throwing a wet blanket over the whole seduction. Timing is everything. In this case, the timing involves knowing when to quit while you're ahead. If you hang around gabbing too long, you'll invariably run out of things to say and end up talking about your hemorrhoid surgery or something similarly grotesque. At that point the mystery is gone and the Trance of Romance has been popped like the delicate soap bubble that it is.
You have a life, things to do. At the point where you sense that she's really come around and is beginning to take a liking to you, that's when you excuse yourself. At this moment it's very natural to ask for a date or her phone number since it will only seem like a continuation of the fun that the two of you are already having. If you've read her signals right and mirrored her thinking style and found common interests, then she should be beginning to feel the stirring of that mysterious 'chemistry' forming between the two of you, and will want to see you again. See how if you perform all the steps in their proper order and respond to her cues appropriately you can almost insure that you won't get rejected? It's only when guys refuse to go through the steps of seduction properly - because of ignorance, laziness or stubbornness - that they set themselves up for being rejected. When you try to bull your way through all the "chatting-up bullshit" (because you're so unskilled at it that it never works for you anyway) and just cut right to the chase and start coming on too strong... that's when you just about insure failure with all but the most heinous pigs. And we're not interested in mopping up the 3:00 AM drunken leftovers here -- leave all that for the low status males. Our goal is to elevate your game to the level of the dominant male who has a clean shot at the best women available!
So now you know the "secret" to not getting rejected - play the game correctly by her rules and she will be compelled to respond to your advances. Why? Because women, when it's all said and done, are genetically programmed to react favorably to a mans' suitable mating advances. The signals that you send provoke reactions within the deepest recesses of her unconscious mind... responses that stem from her most basic and primal need to reproduce. Rejection is reserved only for those males who fail to follow the proper steps. For those who do know how to play, however, acceptance becomes almost a reflex on her part.
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