Alright let's review a little. You've worked on your inner game, decided to accept the process of flirting for the lighthearted fun that it is, and not get all bend out of shape worrying about the high pressure notion of "...I must score at all costs!" You're a calm, high status dude now. Next you spotted a prospect, got caught looking, and held on for dear life. A snap of the anchor band brings up a tide of powerful emotions to keep the negative ones boxed up in a corner of your mind where they can do no harm for now. You made non-verbal contact, smiled and flirted with her silently. Your opening words are the next logical step... and therefore welcomed. They are friendly and show that you are harmless.
You've offered up a bit of clever humor about whatever's going on around the two of you wherever you happen to find yourselves. You've listened closely and picked up a lifeline from her about something she's willing and interested to talk about. You've exchanged names and you've used her name within a few seconds of discovering it as you offered her a light, sincere compliment. (Only compliment her on her "look"... hair, jewelry, tatoos, etc., never her body.)
If you couldn't think of a compliment right away, then skip it for now and pick up on your lifeline -- you can slip her a compliment as you part company later on. If you shook her hand you remembered to use the little handshake trick to give her a subtle subconscious thrill ride. You're also doing your best to maintain an open, inviting, harmless body language posture with your arms at your side and facing her square on... no crossed arms, scowls or James Dean-like sideways looks.
Well ain't we havin' some fun! Just remember to stay focused on playing with her and don't get all nervous thinking about how you're going to go about asking for her phone number or something equally terrifying. That would represent the moment when you would have to reveal your shame -- so it will be stressful for you to imagine and you're dreading it. Just make asking her out optional. That's right... if you get her number you get it, if you don't, you don't. Fuck it. The point to doing all of this flirting is totally pointless. What?... all this training a mere pointless exercise? That's right How's that for some heavy Zen?
Remember the nasty Law of the Universe that likes to give you just the opposite of what you want? The guy who wants it too badly comes off as desperate and gets nothing, while the "couldn't-give-a-shit" guy scores like crazy. Women all love a challenge -- How come you 're not after them all hot and heavy like the rest of the chumps they meet? Are you getting too much maybe? Hmmm?... well, here's some more!
Isn't the life of the Dominant Male grand?
Now it's time to work on creating an immediate connection -- because women are generally into the fantasy of being swept off their feet by a man who suddenly appears in their life, just like all those sappy romance novels they read. This does not mean that you can act like some over the top asshole -- just keep a steady keel and work on establishing a good rapport.
Incidentally, don't discard your own feelings in the blind rush to get her to accept you (or simply not to flat out reject you). Consider how you feel about her. If during the course of getting to know her you decide that she looked better than she sounds once she starts yapping, then cut bait and graciously excuse yourself. That's right... don't be afraid to reject her. Don't forget that rejection is a two way street. Try not to always feel that the gun is pointed only at you. Sure you're the one trying to do the seducing, but only because society places the onus on the man to play this role. If you don't like what you see in her character or manner once you make contact, you're under no obligation to keep grinding along just to honor some bullshit code of chivalry. If your heart's not in it, then forget it.
How do you achieve instant rapport with just about anyone? Is such a thing even possible? Not only is it possible, it's really just a matter of simple psychology, and it's all based on the fact that most people are in love with themselves, their own ideas, and their own "brilliant" points of view. That's right. In order to get people to like you, the trick is to reflect their own brilliance back to them in such a way that it seems you are both on the same wavelength... i.e., their wavelength.
Once people discover to their great delight that you are the perfect foil for their opinions and ideas, they can't get enough of you! This is not always easy to do of course -- especially if you're a miserable bastard who has his own strong opinions about everything and you're certain that you're right about every one of them and that the other guy's a fool. But remember, your goal here is to seduce a great looking girl... so I'm assuming you can submarine your rotten true personality for at least a little while and act like an interesting and intriguing character. If this simply isn't possible then you need more advanced help than I can provide with this humble publication. I suggest you scan the self-help section of Amazon.com or your local bookstore for some heavy-duty assistance on dealing with anger and rage.
In light of this new understanding of the mechanics of creating rapport, it's needless to say that one of the great no-no's of picking up women is to come on like a strongly-opinionated, know-it-all jackass who's constantly telling everyone how they should do this and should do that. So how do you spell asshole? Hmmmm? An attempt to verbally dominate another person, especially when you first meet them, is such a complete and total turn off that it's unlikely you have any friends at all. Maybe this is your problem with chronic rejection? If so, then pay attention since you really need to know this stuff!
I believe some part of this problem stems from a deeply-seated intellectual insecurity (hey I'm no professor, just my humble opinion... ok?). You secretly believe that you're stupid so you try to ram all your ideas down everyone's throat before they can get their bearings. However, knowledge is not a contest -- you don't win anything by proving you know more than everybody else, except a lot of scorn and ostracization. Relax. Read a book. Take a correspondence course. It's no crime to learn something about life from other people, in fact it endears them to you!
For the sake of meeting women, you must learn how to become agreeable in a "non-kiss ass" way that will serve to create an immediate sense of rapport and likability. If you're succeeding, it should be easy to tell from the body language signals. In a few minutes I'll give you a list of what to watch out for, but let's have a look at the theory first.
You build rapport with someone a little bit at a time -- kind of in layers -- using each previous success as a foundation upon which to smooth on the next level. What you want to do on an initial encounter is make that lasting good first impression. It's important that you understand how crucial this is. It's like the old adage that says, once you've acquired the reputation as an early riser, you can sleep in until noon and people will still regard you as a guy who "gets up with the roosters" every day. Why?... because once people tag you with their initial assessment, they rarely ever bother to update how they think of you. People are mentally lazy. That's why they rely on stereotypes to describe others. It's easier than having to think about every person they already know in a new way each time that they see them.
This is why a First Impression sticks to you like glue and is all but
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