This strange but true phenomenon plays into the Universe's twisted desire to reward the nonchalant and torture the desperate. Why this is so? -- I haven't a clue. Murphy's Law, test of the gods, inverted chance. Go figure. All I know is that this "law" seems to hold up under all aspects of life... women, making money, getting killed in an accident (you ever notice how it's the safety conscious who always seem to invite disaster?), whatever. You can't beat it so you might as well play along with it. Like the fighting art of Judo, you must learn to turn
Essential Flirting your opponent's weight and strength around and use it as a weapon against him!
If you can place most of your focus on the act of flirting and little on the potential results - then you will find yourself in a position to look at the world in an entirely different light. Everywhere you turn "flirtable" women will be available for you to play with. I know that your relationship with the fear of rejection is very troublesome for you, but this new kind of attitude is a fantastic way to short-circuit away much of its power. When you flirt with a woman, you're just tickling around the edges of her psyche to determine if she has even the slightest amount of interest in you. If after a moment or two there doesn't seem to be any, then you simply move on... no harm, no foul.
If there is some interest however, then you pay attention to her subtle cues and escalate the conversation appropriately. I'll show you exactly how it's done step-by-step later in this chapter. It simply can't get any more low pressure than this. You have to take some kind of small chance in order to make contact with a woman... there just isn't any way to do it with absolute zero risk to your ego. It's like trying to dive into a pool naked without getting wet. It can't be done.
Women have a life long desire to experience intense emotions -- she's always interested in a man who seems like he might be able to ignite forbidden passions in her. This is why it's of paramount importance that within minutes of first contact with any woman you establish the fact that you find her intriguing in a romantic / sexual way, or else you'll find yourself filed away into the "dud-bud" category very quickly.
The First Encounter is always a very perilous moment for her. It plays into every romantic fantasy she's ever had since childhood. She must feel at least some small spark of intimate possibility, or whatever potential seduction might be in the offing will fizzle out right on the spot. Creating this spark of passion is your main task on any initial meeting with a woman... NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT!
I know this kind of advice may not be appropriate in situations where you will never get a chance to see her again -- like a chance passing on the street or in a park. If that's the case you'll just have to make a bold move because you need to get some future contact information out of her immediately. Be warned however that this involves subjecting yourself to a higher degree of risk and an increased chance of rejection, so think of skipping any of the following steps as an advanced move to be attempted later on in your seduction career after you've gained a good deal of natural confidence and skill at this stuff. Stick with the program at first.
Try to re-frame your preconceived notions about meeting women. Think of flirting not as some frightening challenge but rather like a farmer planting seeds. Farmer John scatters his seed all around the field in the spring (sounds vaguely perverted, doesn't it?)... never knowing how many or which particular ones will take root and sprout into big healthy plants. But some always do. Others die or fail to germinate. So what? That's Life. Adopt this attitude and you'll be alright.
Remember, ultimately it is always the woman who chooses the man anyway. That means that the male's "task" is simply to present himselffor consideration. This is your primary role in the flirting dance. If you need to assign a logical purpose to everything, well then there it is... presentation. Shit, no wonder we're all afraid!
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