Jockeying for pecking order among males is something that goes on constantly in all species of animal on Earth. It takes place in every human culture too, probably dating back to the very beginnings of Time itself. Men compete against each other every day and in all manner of ways, some subtle and others painfully obvious. From the high stakes power plays that define the bitterness and intrigues of office (or governmental) politics, to deciding who goes first at a 4-way stop sign, the struggle to demonstrate yourself better, smarter, faster more powerful than the other guy derives itself from an instinct that is submerged deep within the very oldest parts of the male brain.
It all happens precisely because women take note of the results of this never-ending struggle -- quietly noticing who the apparent winners and losers are and just how well they seem to be holding up under the pressure of battle.
Understand that women don't witness most of these little fights that go on (some are so subtle they can hardly be noticed) but they are extremely interested in the results. You are continually being sized-up for signs of the all-important winner or loser mentality... have you gotten the better of most of your opponents and risen to the top of the heap?... or are you a defeated and cowered wimp? At the heart of this particular question lies the answer as to whether or not you are a sexy, attractive man.
And so the never-ending hunt is on for signs of a victor... the confident air, the appearance of wealth, the look of athletic stock, and the worldliness that shows you either have the time to engage in great leisure, or an inquisitive mind that can't be held down. You have a thirst for new experiences and risky adventures. All these things speak to her about a man who has excelled in the struggle for supremacy among his peers, and this factor more than anything else (including physical attractiveness to a great extent) is what weighs most heavily in her calculation of what makes a captivating guy. Remember, the consequences of sexual activity are vastly different for a woman than they are for a man, and so the factors that serve to turn her on sexually are different too. These factors are hardwired into her brain by Nature just as yours are, and really, they make a lot of sense when you stop and think about them. It's been said that maleness and femaleness are simply two different strategies for reproduction -- each simultaneously complimenting and in competition with the other.
With that in mind, let's see if we can't define what some of these characteristics are so that you can begin to integrate them into your own character and style.
The appearance of wealth must be a priority. Certainly you don't need to be "millionaire" wealthy - but you do need to project some kind of nonverbal evidence that you've done alright for yourself, or (even better) that you are still going places... either with your company, in the business world, the universe of arts and entertainment, etc. Just the appearance of being economically competent is enough to attract the attention of most women. You see, in order to achieve their personal level of highest fulfillment, women are faced with the urgency of someday having to raise children. For this they need to find a man who will help out with the money, not just the sperm donation. This kind of attitude is not golddigging (unless it's taken to the extreme of Anna Nicole Smith...), I'm simply talking about the normal desire to find a man who can bring home the bacon. Two areas of primary concern are your apartment and your car. Your car doesn't have to be a Mercedes but it should be about 2-6 years old and rust free and at least somewhat stylish (no old fart tan Buicks, please). And your apartment should have a certain seductive style to it. This particular subject is significant and will be dealt with later on in considerable depth in Chapter 7 -- The Big Picture.
Clothes are important. I realize that for many of you this notion will be a tough pill to swallow, especially for all you nerds whose wardrobe consists strictly of sneakers, jeans and t-shirts (some of which breathlessly proclaim the imperative need to rid the Federation of Romulans). Clothes speak to your socio-economic status nonetheless, and women read them like secret visual code for an insight into your character. You don't need to go suit-and-tie and fancy Rolodex watch, but you should at least be aware of some fashion trends (checkout Playboy or Maxim) and try not to look so totally fuckin' clueless all the time! If you're an aggregate fashion slob and steadfastly reject anything that takes you away from your effortless comfort-wear, it only indicates to women that you're not a real "player" and that either you've given up all hope of attracting them, or that your self-image is so firmly cemented into a low status mind-set that you don't even realize how sad an image you are projecting. Low self-esteem is particularly bad because it signals a beaten-down character that red-flags you as a loser. Just keep an eye on the latest magazines in order to get a sense for how to accessorize (yeah, I know...). At the very least you should own a leather jacket and a pair of dress boots for going out. Two things to remember about clothes is 1) use them to enhance the good aspects of your physique while disguising your flaws (i.e. flab) as much as possible, and 2) try to develop your own sense of style as much as you can. This intrigues women and draws their attention to you. It signals that you're a player. Finally, don't worry too much about what you'll look like when all those clothes come off. Women understand the fantasy aspect of clothing and know full well that much of it is illusion. They love it anyway! A man who's willing to play their game is what excites them.
Learn how to Smile and make Eye Contact. Why do men find it so hard to make eye contact?... because tits don't have eyes. Ha ha! (Sorry, I'm going to sit in the corner for the rest of class...) Seriously, you know that a High Status Male is a confident man who is not afraid to look someone in the eye. On the other hand, a subjugated little piss-boy who has been cowered by all the other men in the world averts his gaze when encountering other people, lest it might be taken as a challenge. He knows his 'place', so he surrenders and says "I am beneath you, I will not meet your eye, you win..." That's bullshit. You always want to take the initiative in smiling, saying hello, and introducing yourself. Even shaking hands if it seems appropriate to do so, like in a business situation.
Don't forget to stand tall and project a confident air. This seemingly insignificant attention to posture goes a long way towards making a subliminal positive impression on people, especially women. Again it all goes back to your attitude -- you stand proud and tall because you're one of Life's winners... you conquer all before you! Be careful here... this is the sort of message that must be communicated to women non-verbally, you don't dare come right out and say something like "I'm one of life's big winners, baby..." in even a semi-joking fashion or you will be pegged an instant asshole. Try not to diminish with put-downs or jokes any of these important aspects of your character and attitude that I'm outlining here. This is all profound stuff to women... this dance of seduction. One of the big secrets of guys who are successful with women is that they have total respect for her view of its significance. If you act like the idea of flirting, seduction and romance is all a bunch of horseshit, you can expect to be limited to making it strictly with 3's and below... since they'll take anything they can get. Even a lame-brain like you.
Strike the delicate balance between being cool and coming on too strong. If you're going to be seeing her on a regular basis (at work, as a waitress in a restaurant you frequent, etc.) then your best move is to advance the seduction just a little bit at a time. We'll talk about the actual techniques later, but you should understand that the delivery is just as important. Be playful and flirtatious, don't take things too seriously, stay light and amusing, always make them laugh. Important: keep your humor on the clever side, never sarcastic or as an attempt to take a subtle shot at someone (women are very sensitive to this), and don't go overboard with the funny stuff or you'll come off as a clownish boy instead of a seductive man. Men are humorous -- boys are foolish jokers who don't know when to quit. It's painfully obvious when you're so happy to have someone finally cracking up at your stupid jokes that you don't know when to slide off the stage. You're confident that your clever quips are funny, so you don't need to spray a lot of them around the room. Just relax and stay focused on the process of flirting, don't get all wrapped up in her reaction or fretting about if you're putting through a positive impression of yourself or not. If you stay cool and reserved, you are.
If it's appropriate, take a little risk. I know the whole thing about risking your ego is the central challenge to your being able to do anything effective with women, but it's important for you to understand that the act of risking helps to bootstrap your confidence and projects a very high status image. What's the big deal about risk-taking anyway? Because if you're a "winner" at the game of Life, then you expect to continue winning at whatever you try to do. Therefore, what looks scary to a "loser" is not really a risk, for you. The easy ability to accept a risk is an activity only engaged in by High Status Males. This expectation is the signal... get it? Trust me, she does. It immediately tags you as being very intriguing to women. You want the label of the "risk-taker" at any cost, so seek it wherever you can.
To wrap this up, just keep in mind that perception is reality when it comes to seduction... it doesn't matter if you aren't some "Thadius Rich Boy" in real life -- you only have to approximate his attitude in order to do amazingly well with women. They understand that it's all just a game and are willing to suspend disbelief in order to make the whole thing work, the same way that you accept the utterly fantastic premise of a way-out science fiction movie like Alien and simply enjoy it for what it is... great entertainment. It doesn't matter that you're a man of modest means or if your belly sticks out a little once you slip out of your stylish Euro shirt... by then the killer first impressions will have been made and trust me, it lasts. Heck, she's not perfect either... you'll both begin to discover each other's warts once you become more intimate, but by then the seduction will have matured beyond the flirting dance and moved onto something else entirely (like determining just how much of your emotional needs you are able to fill for each other, but that's a topic for Chapter 7).
The higher your perceived socio-economic status, your ranking "number" on that invisible but all pervasive Male Dominance Scale, the more interesting, sexy and desirable you will seem to women. It's just that simple. In terms of getting your foot in the door of seduction, that's really all there is to it.
Remember to always look your best when you're out and about, as the opportunities to meet women always seem to occur when you least expect it. You can dress casual but try to show some style. Lose the sweat pants and the reversed baseball cap, especially if you're over 30 (you're just making an ass of yourself). Not being afraid to act appropriate for one's age is a clear sign of high male status. A man who's going up the socio-economic ladder finds the journey exhilarating and can't wait to get there! He embraces and revels in the changes brought about by the march of years... realizing that men can get sexier as they get older due to the accumulation of experience, expertise, power and money. Status typically rises with age. If you've got the world by the tail, why bother to cling to the past? So don't be afraid to give yourself the advantage of reveling in your current level of maturity. Just don't shuffle around looking like a sullen, vanquished bum. Be aware of the visual you project -- and the absolute power that an "I've-got-the-world-by-the-balls" image conveys.
Dominant males have characteristics which are easily identifiable to women everywhere... they are confident first and foremost, have a likable quality about them, listen well and focus on the woman totally and completely while she's talking. The ability to pay attention to others without fretting or seeming self-conscious demonstrates that you have you shit together. You are not imprisoned by anxieties due to the fact that your life situation is out of control, or that you're desperate for someone to listen to your problems. Other qualities flow from your magnanimous nature... integrity, strength of character, genuineness and compassion. All this adds up to a sexy package. Give the guy a 7 or an 8!
The weak (dominated) male, by contrast, has a personality that has been forged from the opposite end of the human spectrum. It is marked by bitterness and rampant insecurities, jealousy, pettiness, and an inability to accept even the slightest criticism. Flying off into hair-triggered rages released by pent-up anger from being pushed around all his life, sarcasm and stupidity are the hallmarks of his nature. The whupped and wussie side of him emerges with a despondent, groveling edge... constantly apologizing for himself and his male sex drives.
He makes poor eye contact (a sign of submission), fawns over any woman who shows even the slightest interest in him (demonstrating how rare such interest is), talks about himself and his own problems and reveals way too much about himself in casual conversation ...signaling how desperate he is for someone to listen to his lonely self. He's usually very boring too. This is not a guy with all his ducks in a row and it shows. His low score on the Male Dominant Scale assures that he's doomed to flounder around with unattractive women. This notion doesn't suit his highly self-delusional ego however, tending to increase his hostility even further. Unsexy is the final word on this chump... a 2.5 or less.
Let's change all that for you by getting you clued in right now.
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