Look, mating drives are controlled by the primitive hindbrain and by glandular secretions, not by the "seat of consciousness and reason" located in our cerebral cortexes. In this aspect of our being we are little more than very fancy animals. This means that one of the most important skills you can have as a seducer of women is to be able to create the kinds of warm, loving emotional states that their animal natures hunger for. If you can get her to begin feeling these powerful emotions by whatever means and behaviors possible, she will become enamored of their source...you! In a very crass sense, she will be like a junkie that's become addicted to a drug that only you can provide -- you will have become her one and only "dealer". Like any dealer-addict relationship, you can imagine who has all the power here. Sorry if this offends any of you but I'm not interested in sugar-coating the truth (as I see it anyway).
This is why 'nice guys' and wimps and polite little mousy-men are of no interest to her -- none of them 'trip her trigger' in the sense that they don't hold any promise of ever becoming the source of the main thing that she craves from any relationship... emotions! It's the same with men too. The most important thing to men when it comes to relationships is sexual fulfillment. Therefore, we size women up in terms of attractiveness by imagining just how potentially awesome it would be to have sex with them. That's why fat ugly chicks don't get a second look from us... we instantly recognize it would be unlikely that they could keep us sexually interested and erotically stimulated on a continual basis with bodies that don't turn us on visually. Same basic principle, different drug. The addicts are everywhere!
Which brings us to a pivotal male-female understanding. When it comes to rating each other for romantic attractiveness, men can make the most important assessments they need for the most part just by looking at women. Anything in the way of added erotic enticement that emerges from the nature of her personality once we get to know her is just a lot of whipped cream on the cake! Women however, since what they are after is a more complex source of exhilarating emotional states, can't make such an assessment of a man's potential for delivering "the goods" (feelings and emotions of romantic excitement) without first getting a feel for who he is, personality-wise. Our visual appearance to them is only part of the equation, and not necessarily a very meaningful one at that. This is why the game of seduction is rigged in such a way as to force us to speak up and make that romantically-charged great first impression! It's our first test, and one that hinges on a frivolous snap judgement. Ah-ha! See how clever they are?
Do you understand now why your fear and shame and all the other various trouble that you have with this subject have come to focus themselves directly on this issue of having to be the first one to open your mouth and start a conversation? You certainly realized how this moment -- unlike any other in the world -- is the most important appraisal of your manhood that you will ever encounter. In that split second with no hope of rebuttal, you would be judged on your acceptability as a potential lover who can give her the emotions that she craves from any future romantic entanglements. It is your audition for a woman's heart! The dilemma is that you may not have had a sincere appreciation ofjust what it was you were being graded on when you attempted to speak to her (answer: you do now... your dominant male attitude!). The combination of these
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