Delete The Emotionand Save The Data Step 5 Your Unbearable Lightness of Being

Okay, once you've caught an eye, immediately shoot her a warm smile before she looks away. This should be what I call an Old Friend Smile, the sort of smile that you would burst across your face if you'd just spotted an old friend. Naturally you can't shout out "hey how's it goin'?..." or something like that because this would be inappropriate. But the warm smile communicates both your interest and your harmlessness to her in a split second, and lobs the ball onto her side of the court. Now you watch for her reaction. If she smiles back and holds your eye you've just picked up a major GO signal.

If she smiles but then looks away quickly, she was probably just mirroring back your smile reflexively as most people will... but is displaying the fact that she isn't interested in pursuing any further contact with you. She's being polite but telling you to keep your distance. Not interested. See how the two of you are talking without saying any words? This is what I mean when I tell you that the first meaningful (i.e., man-woman) exchange between two potential mates is always non-verbal. Always. They don't write songs about lingering looks across a crowded room for nothing, this is how all great romances begin (or don't!).

"But no one ever looks at me, I never get any eye contact..." you're probably pissing and moaning right about now. Two reasons for this: 1) you don't go looking for it and, 2) you don't present any sort of intriguing visual presentation to stir her interest.

If you're dressed down like a non-descript slob all the time, you tend to become "invisible" insofar as the mating / dating game is concerned. You are simply not on the playing field -- you've melted into the background, disqualified yourself in advance.

Couple that with the fact that you commonly avert most everyone's gaze because you're withdrawn and hateful as a result of stewing in your shame for so long, and well, you can see what's happening... women are picking up powerful stay away signals from you! That's right, you've been communicating non-verbally with women all your life and you don't even realize it! The only problem is that you've been sending out the completely wrong message. ...Stay away, I'm a lowly loser, I'm not worthy... Inadvertent perhaps, but clear as a bell nonetheless.

Your assignment from this moment on is to get the content of your non-verbal rap gliding down the right track. It's okay to seem a little nervous when you're making first contact, in fact, you want to seem nervous. Otherwise the girl will think that you're some kind of "Mr. Con, Don Juan" who does this sort of pickup bullshit all the time, and who's just looking for another notch on his gunbelt. She sniffs out this brand of weasel easily, and unless she's also looking for a quick one-nighter you're going to get shut out.

See how tricky this thing can be? You have to strike just the right balance between having the courage to say something, and coming on too strong like some kind of super-slick, pick-up artist. Either extreme leads to its own kind of failure -either you reject yourself, or she rejects you. No wonder so many guys feel inadequate moving on women! Some degree of visible discomfort on your part openly demonstrates the desire to take a risk when the reward seems valuable enough (her!), which is a tremendous non-verbal shout of your high male status. Remember, High Status Males are conditioned to getting what they want -- so the kinds of risks that "normal" guys like you and me freeze up in the face of don't faze them.

Don't feel like you have to be as calm as a stone to move on a woman, a little bit of nervousness is good to wear. Makes you seem honest and even cute. Just keep your anchor band working to fight any major shame outbreaks so that you don't lock up completely and can still function.

Okay, so you've done the opening non-verbal cha-cha, now it's time to "go

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