Tknow, this all sounds good on paper and when you read it you're resolved to remember lots of this stuff and use it next time the opportunity to impress some cute chick presents itself, but then when you finally get that chance you freeze up and forget everything you learned and just fall back on your same old destructive behaviors. What's up with that? Well, some of what you're doing wrong is learned behavior that's become so familiar you tend to act it out almost unconsciously -messing up and making key mistakes before you can even think to stop and change what you're doing. But what we're interested in is the why behind it all. Why do you act in a shy, bumbling way that proclaims your low male status while some other smooth dude happens to know all the right things to say? He never got any training at this stuff either, so why's he so good at it?
The answer lies in our critical early experiences with women - either negative or positive - and the resulting kind of thoughts that occur in our heads automatically whenever we meet them again. Those thoughts are reinforced over and over until they become rooted in our consciousness. Negative experiences in particular have a tendency to create feelings of shame and humiliation that become associated with those early bad encounters that first created them. When the future brings you back into a similar situation, it dredges up those old feelings of shame, which can result in unstable thought patterns and lead to some highly self-destructive social behaviors. Alright, psychoanalysis meat-n'-potatoes time. Let's get going and explore this intriguing subject of toxic shame right now without further delay.
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