How To Be An Expert Persuader In 20 Days

How To Be An Expert Persuader In 20 Days

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There is no such thing as LOVE, CHEMISTRY, or DESIRE.

There is a process inside that we call LOVE, CHEMISTRY, or DESIRE.

Every behavior, emotion, or state of mind is a result of a process. Never ask why, ask how!

Ask yourself what states you want to experience. But more importantly, what states do you want your prospect / date / lover to experience.

blind obedience romance extreme fascination lust absolute submission commitment

Principles to accent in order to master this material:

1. Curiosity

2. Experimentation

3. Focus on Process

4. Realize the result is the effectiveness of your communication Unconscious Behavior

I am calling upon you to examine what you do unconsciously. You will realize some of your behaviors are supporting your desired outcome and others are not.

Do you remember the first time you ever rode a bike? Was it uncomfortable at first. Soon, you were able to ride a bike, sing a song, and all with no hands. If you practiced, you could also juggle at the same time. Your unconscious takes care of those behaviors it has been conditioned to do and free your mind to focus on the juggling.

You will learn new skills. You will learn each skill separately'and then integrate them. These skills will become a part of you. You will begin to condition yourself to t-e-wire parts of your language, body, and mental processes to make all your communication extremely effective. Practice on everybody. You begin see practicing as fun.

Persuasion is a controversial topic.

Many Dale Carnegie type "positive thinking/ self-improvement" graduates believe if you just be yourself and be totally honest, you will get the results you want Are you getting the results you want.? Where is the line between being honest and deceptive, secretive ana withholding information, exaggerating ,and embellishing, or lying? Inside your mind, you know where those lines are. You can use this material within your parameters of integrity. I will never suggest you lie, deceive, or compromise your integrity. Revealing specific information in a specific sequence using specific language is called smart Being a babbling idiot is called unaware. Which category would you like to be a part?

You are raised around a group of people that you did not choose. You had experiences that created who you are. Luckily, you are an adult and you finally have control! Yeah! If you were raised by parents that were tremendously persuasive, salesmen or politicians, you may have developed some innate unconscious ability to persuade and develop rapport On the other hand, if both your parents were engineers and computer programmers, the skills that were programmed into your speech, neurology, and body probably were not that of Casanova.

So, ask yourself if you are now ready to take responsibility for controlling your unconscious neurological and mental programming? If so, take a moment as ask yourself which part of your communication with other people is not getting the result you desire. That is the part of your life that "being yourself will get you to be "by yourself."

Great athletes are not born, they are trained.

Process vs. Content

You must decide now to learn to think, talk, and write in terms of process, not content.

Process is the direction and content is the method of travel. Process is which highways you choose and content is which vehicle. You can still get there in a pick-up truck or motorcycle, as long as you use the same highway. Therefore, once you establish a person's process for any behavior,you can take them there with any number of contents.

Questions like,''What cause.. and "How did you decide to ..."will get you process information. The best way to discover process is LISTEN. As someone talks, they will reveal to you their own process.

The Ultimate Behavior Persuasion


By Bart A. Baggett


location, size, distance, speed, tonality, color, brightness, texture, intensity, etc.

5 Representational Systems:

Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Gustatory, Olfactory


location, size, distance, speed, tonality, color, brightness, texture, intensity, etc.

5 Representational Systems:

Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Gustatory, Olfactory


Mirroring, pacing, leading, agreement, interests,

01994 by Bart A. Baggett


Mirroring, pacing, leading, agreement, interests,

01994 by Bart A. Baggett


Rapport is a two edged sword. It will work against you if you don't have an outcome.

Keep your outcome in mind. This is not about just making friends. It is about persuading people to be your lover..1 !'.,J If you are in sales, you have to close the sale or your not selling. Or, are you just a professional friend? Friends don't pay your bills and don't sleep with you! Also, being a friend is a long jump to lover. Know the difference. There is great benefit to having friends, rapport will build friends. Know your outcome.

Three Main ways to Pace a person's behavior using your physiology:

1. Mirroring: It looks like they arc looking at a mirror.

2. Matching: Opposite of a mirror

3. Cross Over: Pacing with a different part of your body altogether. Mirroring

Non-verbal rapport exercise: Mirrorina Principle: Assume rapport.

"Give first and then you'll receive. " Give confidence, comfort, trust, etc.

Exercise: Mimic non-verbal behavior. A: Persuader B: Subject The more detailed, the better.

A does everything B does, allow a mental lag of a few seconds. A follow B.

Notice: posture, breathing, limb placement, muscle tension, expression, etc.

Pacing. Leadinp^& Mirroringr Notice everything. Tonality, speech pace, pauses and breathing rate, body position, expression, etc.

Exercise: Pacing to exact mirror. lagirtinaBththen work up to exactly the same time, then begin making changes and see if they follow.

Q: What if I don't feel comfortable doing this exercise?

Because you haven't felt comfortable creating total rapport in the past. This is why you're here! Get used to it.. Start to feel comfortable being in tune with someone else's exercise.

If you feel uncomfortable... you are not getting it. Let go of your own past habits. Immerse yourself in your partner's world. You must jump in and start to risk Start to feel comfortable. Practice. Do it anyway.

You don't have to be ultra subtle with non-verbal rapport techniques. Be as blatant as you can, until you get caught a few times so you know your limits. (The little tick of the fmger isn't always enough.) Be subtle with language commands, be blatant with non-verbal People aren't away of your own and their own bodies at a conscious level, They won't notice.

3 Rules for successful communication

1. Determine your outcome

2. Have the sensory acuity to know if you are or are not getting the response you want.

3. Have the flexibility in your behavior to vary what you are doing if what you are doing isn't working.

What did you gain from learning how to recognize and feedback non-verbal signals from others?


The Five Representational Systems

2. Auditory (hear)

3. Kinesthetic (feel)

4. Gustatory (taste)

5. Olfactory (smell)

We all use all five. Nobody is just one. However, some people prefer operating out of just one system and ignore tremendous amounts of stimuli from the other systems. Therefore, you must communicate using the preferred system or run the risk of being difficult, misunderstood, or simply ignored.

The reason that we call it our representational system is because these five senses represent reality to us inside our own minds. Strange as it may seem, we don't know what reality is. We only know what we filter from our external events. We use our five senses to take information in and store it.

Our representation of reality comes in initially through our five senses and then goes through our internal filters. (Sometimes, you just don't hear certain tilings. That is a filter.) Individuals communicate with each other in sort of a code. I* you can unlock this code, they will believe you truly understand them. When. you match someone's coding system verbally using words from the representational system of their choice, they don't have to re-code to make sense of it. If you know that saying the sounds "Sit B. Oey" would give you the result of having an animal coordinate his bottom to the floor, you wouldn't care if the words made any sense. The dog doesn't have to know that it is correctly spelled "Sit. Boy." In fact, he doesn't even care it isn't a proper sentence. He doesn't know that sit is a verb and a command. All he knows is that those sounds have a code that makes sense to him. Therefore, when you choose the same code as the person speaking, no internal translation has to take place, and your communication is effective.

As far as language and influence, you will focus on the three main sources for coding information::

1. visual

2. Auditory

3. Kinesthetic


Which of the three codes categories do the following phrases fit?

see it clearly brilliant example shake down rings a bell solid idea tone it down tune him out pretty as a picture

Other ways to use verbal rapport:

Replicate moods, beliefs, interest, content of conversation, opinions, enthusiasm, etc.

Below arc a list of words which will RED FLAG which representational system the speaker is accessing at that time.

Representational Systems Key Words

Visual see look view appear show crystal clear flash imagine focused twin clear foggy dawn hazy sparkling reveal envision illuminate shine dim dark glow scan pretty zoom in reveal draw

Auditory hear listen sound(s) make music harmonize mellifluous dissonance attune overtones l e chant question beallears rings a bell silence be heard resonate deaf tune m/out clatter tell noise shout talk say babble shrill voice

Kinesthetic feel touch unbudging get a handle solid suffer hard make contact throw out turn around grasp get hold of slip through catch on unfeeling concrete scrape tap into link cram tackle warm sharp soft fall shape tension

Unspecified sense experience understand think learn conceive be conscious know perceive insensitive distinct motivate consider change process decide contemplate relate reward express feedback logical organize


Make three phrases or sentences out of each category. 1.

Non-Verbal Cues to Representational Patterns

Eye movements signify which coding systems is being accessed. If someone was recalling a telephone conversation, her eyes would be shifting to the left or right.

The future or past aspect of this diagram depends of the handedness of a person. If he is right handed the future is to his right- This information is helpful to catch all the clues of someone's coding system.








Strategy - A strategy is a particular sequence of representations that, when followed, produces a specific behavior or outcome leading the rapport.

Criteria- What if fakes to fulfill the strategy. Closely linked to values. All criteria serves to move a person towards an objective or away from a problem.

Most of us use a combiitiou of the five representational systems to create a specific state, behavior, or emotion. For example, can you think the last time you decided what you wanted to eat? Did you first see a picture, then imagined what it would taste like? Or did you smell it first, then imagine the taste? Let's test it.

_fajitas?irategy for

What if I said to you, right now, "Would you like some hot fajitas?" What is your answer. Yes or No. Now, the important thing is not the answer it is the process you used to get the answer. When I think about fajitas the first thing that pops &~to the sound of sizzling steamy'fresh chicken crackling the air. Then almost instantly

I visualize in full color a picture of the waitress at the Hard Rock Cafe carrying the black cast iron skillet to my table packed full of the colorful entree'. Then, I imagme, as my mouth starts to water, what it will be like to chomp down on the slightly blacked chicken with a mouthful of guacamole and sour cream. After imaginmg all that inside my head, what do you think my answer would be?

But more importantly, how could you sell me on a different type of food. It is very simple. Fmt, &scribe the smell. Then paint a picture of how good it looks. Then, tell me how it taste. If you do it in that order, convincingly, I will want it. It's the process. In this case, the order is just as important as creating believable images for me to see, hear, or taste. Likewise, if you have seven digits, of all equal value, the order you push them on the telephone is critically important to who will pick up on the other end. Begin to recognize the order that people access certaiu systems.

Eliciting Attraction Strategy

So, can the same strategy elicitation and playback work for having someone's mouth water over dating you? Of course. Frost you must find out a time when s/he really wanted a specific lover. You will rarely get the exact criteria if you generalize. Be specific. Ask about a certain person.

For this example you are a woman out on a date with Ar You are midway through the main course when the conversation turns to past relationships. You used to dread this part of the conversation but this time you lolow it will give you the information that you need to discover his love strategy. You spend as little energy as you can on the break up. What you are interested in, and say it, is why you found her attractive in the first


"When did you realize that you were 'really attracted to her?" Or, if you at-e not takiug about a specific person.. .

"Art, can you remember a time when you were totally attracted to someone?"

R&.nember the content of this memory is not important (If the content seems to be too important choose another memory. For example if he chooses the girl that just dumped him yesterday, he may have a hard time visualizing her picture without feeling the pain of the breakup. Choose his first love, or someone he really felt attracted to but never actually went out with.)

Your mission is to get Art into the state of being attracted.

"'Art, can you tell me the very first thing that caused you to be attracted? Was it...

Something you saw? Or was it-

Something you heard? Or was it... Something you felt?"

His response might be something like thii.

"How could I ever forget that? Jeez, it was like rockets went off in my mind. I was just wild about that girl, y'know? I can just see her now, right there in my mind's eye, standing behind the pizza counter smiling with those her big blue eyes staring at me."

"And the very first thing that attracted, you was..."

"Oh yeah, it had to be here eyes. She just looked so innocent, so sweet; "

"Art, after you saw her there next to the pizza counter, what was the very next thing you remember that attracted you? Was it...

Something you saw? Or was it...

Something you heard? Or was it... Something you felt?"

Again, you have asked him to be very sensory specific.

"Hmmm. I can't recall exactly. I just remember me saying to myself. What a great girl. She must be so sweet. I wish I had a girlfriend like that" That's when she said 'Hi' to me. "

So, now you know the second part of his love strategy is auditory. He has to say something to himself or hear her say something.

Of course you now know the next question.

"Art, after you saw her standing there, you told yourself you wanted a girlfriend like her, and she said hi... what was the very next thing that you remember that attracted you in that intense way? Was it...

Something you saw? Or was it...

Something you heard? Or was it... something you felt?"

"There is. nothing more I can recall. After we talked briefly, I just knew. I just had that feeling. I just wondered how good it would feel to hold her in my arms. There are some things that you just get a feeling about. Y'know.. .right here in my stomach."

Now that Art has told you such seemingly unimportant details, you have the exact love potion to turn his motor on and tarn him into your melting love slave. He begins with a picture, then sounds, then feelings. Now, replay it in a different content.

Remember that a good portion of establishing rapport has much to do with offering back someone's behavior, we may now begin to weave Art a story that taps in to his attraction strategy. We base this methodology on the unconscious delight we experience when we're related to through metaphor.

Knowing Art's attraction strategy will allow you to tell him a story (content) around the framework (context) of his attraction formula, thereby causing him to be attracted. Keep this in mind Remember deep levels of rapport can be initiated by running his strategy but changing the content so as to bypass his consciousness. You find him suddenly and miraculously attracted at some unconscious level

Your statement using his attraction strategy, different content.

"Art., judging from, your point of view, it looks to me like you can really see what attracts you to someone. I've had the same experience. Just by looking at the right person will literally make my bells chime. I just go inside and say "Hmmm, what a great smile, what great eyes. So attractive. Just my type." You know in that tone of voice. It tells me, in that warm special way, that this person is special. It just creates butterflies in my stomach. Can you image that happening to you, instantly?'

Realize how effective this simple system is. The above example simply used the representational systems only. Imagine how powerful you will be when you begin to combined this technique with the other tools you will learn (anchoring, submodalities, and Magic words).


Elicit someone's attraction strategy. Explain the strategy below.

What was the sequence / or&r of events?

What is your own strategy for attraction?



Pre-suppositions Cause and effect Embedded commands State elicitation


Learn to speak in such a way that everything you want to subject to do is pre-supposed. In other words, they have to accept what you are saying and the basic fundamental principles of what you are saying is true, just to make sense of your sentences. It eliminates resistance in everything that you do. It installs suggestions very profoundly into the minds of your listener. It creates a deeper sense of rapport and easier abiity for them to follow along with you.

To make sense, or answer the question, they must agree to the hidden assumption.

"Is the awareness of the Magic of these patterns starting to sink in? "

"Are you starting to experience the satisfaction of working with me will bring to you as I describe my service. "

Rapport and pre-suppositions is the staple to persuasion techniques. The reason that these two particular methods are so effective at high levels of sophistication is that no one can tell you are doing it. It is not discernable. Even people with a moderate training in this, cannot tell you are doing it. Because people, you, already use the words in your own vocabulary. You will now simply use them effectively and more frequently.

Basic we-suppositions:

'Where would you like to go for coffee?" P-S: Your date wants coffee.

"Is there a particular movie that you have been wanting to go see?" P-S: Your date has been thinking about movies.

"Do you always use a condom?' P-S: You have sex.

"I've got some great Kenny G CDs at home. Do you like listening to Kenny G by the fire?" P-S: If your date says yes, you assume you are going to get lucky.

"Are you safe?"

P-S: We are going to have sex if you say "yes."

Advanced pre-suppositions:

"Can you imagine the rich smell of fresh coffee right now? If you were to choose a place to go right now, where would that be?"

"Do you ever fmd yourself thinking about a movie over and over inside your head? As you think about all the movies that we could go see, which particular one really excites you? "


Magic words that enhance state elicitation and support presuppositions. This section has so much power packed information, that if you just mastered this one part, you would experience such a significant leap in your persuasion abilities, you would consider this training entirely worth while. Even if this is all you remember. This is that nowerfiil.

Naturally Automatically




Experience /Awareness

Before During After

When &Rank

Among Expand Beyond




Cause and Effect

Now stop


You will begin to use these words in the midst of phrases in your normal sentences. The use of these words will increase your persuasion power ten fold.

The eighteen Magic words are grouped into six sections. 'In each section, the category name in listed to the right. There are many other words in each category, the ones listed are what I consider to be some of the most powerful and persuasive.

Magic Phrases

Use any combination of the words to make complete sentences. Marie Phrases make an ordinary statement extraordinary.

With Magic Phrases: "Before you begin to expand your knowledge of persuasion, you will become aware of how naturally these Magic phrases become part of your daily speech."

Without Magic Phrases: "Your knowledge will grow. These phrases will become part of your language."

Remember: You have always been using these techniques, however, before you haven't been aware of when, where, and what outcome you were getting. In other words, be careful to not use these in the wrong situations to persuade someone in the wrong direction.

BEWARE of the wrong wav to use the Marie Phrases

If a restaurant customer were to say to you 'The meal was below average."

Then you said, "Obviously, you are noticing the poor quality of the food tonight. Naturally, when we have a substitute cook and leftover vegetables, the quality of the food suffers tremendously. At least you didn't notice the slow service!"

Notice your feelings and comfort level now. Better or worse, if you weren't uncomfortable you probably are beginning to feel that way now.

These word patterns always work They will work to your advantage or against your advantage. It is up to you.

Adverb / Adjective Presuppositions

Strategy: Always put the adverbs before the verb and adjectives before the noun. The key to the,success of this is that everything that follows these words is presupposed. Your listener must accept it as TRUE in order to make sense of the sentence.

Magic Words:

Automatically Naturally



"Have you discovered how easily you can make the decision to tell me all about it?"

"Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy."

"Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?' 'It just seems natural that we become lovers."

"Naturally, you will find enough reasons to go ahead right now, and write down your phone number."

'When you sit behind the wheel of this new Cadillac, you instinctively know it fits your style. You automatically want to own it."


Write down three examples of this pattern. Make your examples ones that you can take back with you to the "real world" and effectively use. Choose words from the list below.

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