CR and dating basics

It should be fairly obvious that Fred can use many of the Set Up techniques to his advantage. If these techniques can help a psychic reading or sales meeting get off to a good start, why not a romantic dinner for two? All the points made under 'Meeting and Greeting' are about giving someone a warm welcome, and helping them to feel relaxed, at ease and receptive to whatever you have to say. What more could Fred want? One thing he can use is a suitable mind script, such as:

"I like you, I'm the kind of man you like, and we're going to have a great time"

Another Set Up technique is 'Encouraging co-operative interpretation'. In a romantic context, this translates as 'Encouraging a sense of sharing'. In other words, Fred should take care to convey the idea that this is a shared evening, a shared conversation, a shared discovery of whatever he and Ginger have (or don't have) in common. This helps Fred to avoid two extremes which Ginger will find tiresome: the man who wants to do all the talking, and the man who hardly does any talking.

Next we have 'Establishing an intimate atmosphere'. What could be more relevant to a romantic context? If Fred wishes Ginger to enjoy a pleasant, romantic evening in his company, he should at least select a venue with suitable ambience. Of course, 'suitable' is a subjective term. Some men would choose a local diner catering chiefly to the long-distance road haulage industry. I'd suggest this is generally a poor choice. Some men would choose the dining room of the Hotel Bel Air in Los Angeles. I'd suggest this is the perfect choice.

In the psychic context, when we looked at 'intimate atmosphere', I mentioned that some psychics are careful to use a slightly gentler, more relaxed tone of voice than normal. This can be a very effective way to create an air of intimacy, and Fred should take note. Queen Victoria apparently complained of Prime Minister Gladstone that "He speaks to me as if I was a public meeting". It's a common mistake. Although there are notable exceptions on both sides, mens voices are typically louder and more brash than those of women. If Fred uses a rather overbearing tone of voice, this is not very pleasant for Ginger. If he uses a slightly gentler voice than usual (emphasis on 'slightly'), this can help to foster a more relaxed conversational ambience.

Another relevant Set Up technique is 'Setting the client at ease'. In the psychic context, this involved being sensitive to any signs of concern or anxiety that could impede the success of the reading. Adapted to the romantic context, Fred might like to bear in mind that just because he is comfortable it doesn't necessarily follow that Ginger is too. Many women are more sensitive to ambient temperature than men are. While Fred may think everything is fine, Ginger may be feeling cold or aware of a nearby draught, but unwilling to say anything. Good for Fred if he spots this, and insists they be re-seated so that Ginger feels more comfortable.

Body Language Basics

Body Language Basics

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