Cold Reading and romance

Having looked at the psychic context and the sales context, we can now look at cold reading techniques as they might apply in a romantic context.

This section is not intended as a contribution to the ever-growing, ever-amusing 'seduction secrets' industry. There are already countless books, websites and manuals devoted to 'sure-fire' seduction techniques, so I doubt there's anything left to add. Instead, this relatively brief section is intended to explore parallels between factors that help a psychic reading (or a sales meeting) to go well, and those which can assist a romantic date to go well.

I've included this section for two main reasons. The first is that a journalist, reviewing an earlier edition of this book, once remarked that much of it read like a guide to 'What every woman wants'. His point was that many men could probably borrow a few good ideas from the ways in which psychics cultivate good rapport with their (mainly female) clients. I thought this was quite an interesting comment, but at the same time I felt the subject warranted a cautious approach. In my view, any man who thinks he knows 'what every woman wants' hasn't met that many women. He may be comfy in his smug cocoon of delusions, but he is probably the unwitting subject of much mirth and amusement among his female acquaintances.

The second reason is simply that I get asked about this subject a great deal, and not just by other men. More than a few of my female friends, having perused earlier editions of this book, have shared their speculations about how cold reading techniques might play a part in relationships and relationship management. In fact three female friends have helped me to piece this short section together. If anything herein is deemed accurate and insightful, it can be credited to their assistance.

So far we have looked at two contexts:

- Psychic and Client

- Salesman and Prospect/Customer

Let us begin with a new context summary. I could simply designate our players as Man and Woman, but that lacks charm. I shall call them Fred and Ginger.

Players: Fred, Ginger.

Context: A romantic dinner for two, or similar social occasion.

Perception goal: Fred wants to be perceived by Ginger as a decent, likeable, interesting and engaging man in whose company she can relax and enjoy herself. Hopefully, Ginger will decide she'd like to see more of Fred (howsoever that phrase may be interpreted).

So, which cold reading (CR) techniques might Fred usefully deploy in this context?

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