This issue, instead of hawking the virtues of a magazine you are already paying for, I thought I would advertise a new product of which I am very proud.
The Blowhard Deck Warmer is what all the "in" card workers are using this year. The cold deck syndrome is a problem all deck switchers must face at one time or another. No sooner do you switch in your short-cornered rough/smooth Svengali deck for a borrowed and shuffled deck, when some spectator oversteps the boundaries of good spectatorship and says that the deck is suddenly cooler than it was a moment ago. This is caused by the fact that a deck which is handled tends to be warmed by the hands of spectators. (And, warm-handed spectators have big mouths.)
This ancient problem is now solved with this high-tech device. Don°t you be caught squeezing the deck between your thighs to keep it warm. This device was designed specifically to keep the deck you want to switch in warmed to the proper temperature until needed.
"But is it powerful?", you ask. It comes with a dozen free fuses for your fuse box. "But will it really keep a deck warm?" Sure. Just adjust the flame to the desired level. But, you ask, "Is it simple and safe to use?" Of course. Would a magic dealer sell you something that wouldn°t do what the advertisement said? And, since safety is a major concern, it comes with a special pair of protective goggles which are tinted so they double as luminous card readers. Won°t you be the talk of the card table when you walk in and sit down sporting a pair of these high tech goggles?
Besides, even if the goggles don°t completely work, your vision should return in four to six weeks (or most of it anyway). And who cares as long as you look good in them?
Finally, subsituting your favorite dove for a deck of cards in the warming compartment, The Blowhard can be used to cook dinner during months when the shows aren°t coming in regularly. It even comes with a forty page gourmet dove cookbook titled, Empty Them First. When was the last time you received so much value from your magic dollar?
For verification of the U.L. Listing, just call 555-2121 and ask them if they have The Blowhard on one of their lists. As a matter of fact, The Blowhard is on more government agency lists than any other electric appliance. This is truly a sign of quality.
Price - $1250.00 Shipping Weight - 450 Pounds
Order your Blowhard from the same place you receive this quality magazine (for $25.00 for five issues):
TRAPDOOR PRODUCTIONS 40 7 CARRINGTON DRIVE KNIGHTDALE, NC 27545 PHONE (919) 266-7900
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