Neurolinguistic programmers, psychologists adept at persuasive techniques, discovered a magical tool. They uncovered the secret used by compliance professionals that guarantee almost unbeatable results. They discovered that by exactly mirroring the person you attempt to persuade, you can generate a very deep sense of rapport in that person.
To mirror someone is to do exactly as they do - 100%. This means that you mirror their posture, their gestures, their body language, their tone of voice, inflection and speaking rate, their disposition and even the way they breathe.
Mirroring is simple. When he or she leans forward, you lean forward. When he gazes into your eyes, return with like intensity. When he crosses his arms, you fold yours. When he smiles, you smile. When he lifts the cup to drink, you do the same. Match the speed of his voice. Speak as fast or as slowly as he does; incorporate his words and phrases. Mirror the vocal inflections. Mirror the rhythm and speed of his movement. Breathe when he breathes by inhaling and exhaling as he does. Be as outgoing or as reserved as he is.
Mirror his moods as well to intensify the rapture of the bond. If he feels down, validate his moods by mirroring it. Let him see his moods reflected from your person. For instance, say, " I can see that you're disappointed and that everything went wrong. I feel bad for you." The worse thing to do when attempting to mirror someone is to invalidate and belittle the feelings of someone. Never say, " Oh, you shouldn't worry about it! Things will look up soon!" Such a disastrous statement breaks the rapport because you are effectively saying that he is wrong to feel that way. When mirroring, you should be "validating" everything he does-making a conscious effort to show that you are in agreement with him.
Mirror his beliefs and opinions. Validate his notions. Take care on matters of contention. It is important to establish a strong similarity between the both of you.
The importance of mirroring is this: When you mirror another person, you are in effect saying, " We are alike. You are safe with me. You can trust me!" By mirroring, you build trust and establish credibility. It is an exceptionally reliable method that can bring compliance. It works magnificently because the mind is affected on the subconscious level.
Once you have mirrored someone for about ten minutes, the magic begins: you can begin leading your prospect to compliance. Mirroring establishes a subtle bond that makes it easy for you to gain agreement. After that short period of mirroring, begin suggesting options for your prospect to follow. You will find that your prospect will attempt to continue the artificially generated rapport by giving in to your suggestions. The reason? The act of mirroring induced psychological feelings of pleasure. To maintain that pleasure entails maintaining the mirror. Thus, he now begins to mirror you by following your suggestions. Following your suggestions heightens the similarity between the both of you, which is the root cause of the pleasure and which is the sole objective of the mirroring effort.
At this sweet point you no longer need to persist to actively maintain the mirror; your prospect willfully undertakes that burden.
But before attempting to lead or persuade the other person, find out first if you have successfully established rapport. Do this subtly at a nonverbal level by first synchronizing with some aspects of the other person's body language like facial expression, posture, or speech rate. Mirror that person briefly. After awhile, change your posture and wait to see if the other person responds. Rapport has been generated if the person moves to a mirror position of your new posture. If you get this complementary and positive response, it indicates that rapport exists and that persuasion efforts are primed for execution.
If, however, the other person resists your lead and indicates that rapport doesn't exist yet, continue mirroring and test again for rapport. Once rapport is verified, proceed making suggestions in line with your objective. As you make these suggestions, persist testing for rapport. When rapport is broken, back track and seek for new opportunities to suggest after agreement has been reestablished.
The concept may appear ludicrous and the practice seems strange. To you, it does, but to the person you persuade, it is the magic spell that lowers the drawbridge.
This technique summons power by appealing to his subconscious. Consciously, he is not aware of your mirroring; unconsciously, he sees someone who reminds him of himself. A tip when mirroring: commence mirroring about three minutes after the conversation begins to avoid being too obvious.
Because of the subtlety involved, the power is multiplied. As your prospect speaks with you, he grows more and more comfortable because he feels he is speaking with himself. Furthermore, by mimicking his each and every action, you subliminally broadcast to his psyche that you are not just another entity You are an extension of his personality. This instantaneously forges the bond of liking and trust and the bridge of rapport magically rises.
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