There once was a very powerful and successful hypnotist by the name of Milton Erickson. When you are through with this book you may well want to build a shrine to Erickson, because this man is going to help get you laid more than having a million dollars cash and a body like Scharwtznegger.
Erickson could hypnotize anyone, even the most resistant patient or client. One of the ways he did this was by mirroring the breathing of the person he was hypnotizing.
Now, I'm going to pause for a minute so you can go through your "Bullshit" reaction. But mirroring someone's breathing is a very powerful way to make them unconsciously feel in tune with you. Erickson would watch the rate of his client's breathing and then begin to match it with his own breathing, or with the pace of his speaking. Or he'd tap his chest with his hand in time to the persons breathing, and then begin to gradually slow the tapping. The person's breathing would slow in time to the tapping!
Mirroring works because your unconscious picks up and is aware of things your conscious mind has no knowledge of. To convince yourself that this is so, try this experiment:
Get a friend of yours and have them close their eyes. Ask them to keep their eyes closed, and guess what you are doing.
Stand in front of them, and begin speaking. As you do so, sway your head from side to side.
Of course, they will be able to tell you you are moving your head back and forth. Now, ask them how they knew they'll tell you they could hear the difference in how you sounded.
Now, try it again, but this time ask them to keep their eyes open. Ask if they can hear the difference now, and of course they can't? Actually, they CAN hear the difference, because they still have the same pair of ears - they just aren't CONSCIOUSLY aware of it. But unconsciously, you bet they are!
In the same way, if you mirror a chick's breathing, or her tone of voice, or rate of speaking, or even a particular gesture she uses, on a conscious level she won't notice. If she does notice on a conscious level, then you are being too obvious and she's either going to think you are a weirdo or are making fun of her, and neither of these will score you points.
But if you do it subtly, then all she will know is that for some odd reason she sure seems to feel right down comfortable with you, old buddy, as if she's loved you for years!
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