How To Handle Chicks Who Try To Cancel Dates

Perhaps the most serious offense a chick can commit is to cancel a date. I've heard all sorts of hilarious excuses, and nine times out of ten they are just that.

But so what? With the proper amount of coercion and psychological pressure, you can get her to go out with you anyway. Then you can use one of the quick-lay/hypnosis tricks we'll show you so you can still wind up screwing her. How dare she try to waste the time of a master of Guerilla Get Laid tactics? As Batman would say, "Poor deluded girl!"

It's really quite simple. When she calls to cancel with her silly excuse, you just do this:

HER: Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't make it tonight. I have to take my friend to the airport (Or: "I'm just not feeling well," or whatever lie she tells you).

YOU: So what you're saying is, you'd like to go, but due to a circumstance you can't control and weren't expecting, you won't be able to?

HER: Yeah. That's right. (She's got to admit this- she can't come right out and say she just isn't interested. That might take a little guts. )

YOU: (Closing in for the kill) Well, since you said you'd like to go, what arrangements would you like to make to do that right now?

Then, you shut up. You have the silly chick. She's backed into a corner, and will have to name a day, or else risk being revealed as the liar she truly is.

Your other option is to blow the chick off, but make it as embarrassing and uncomfortable for her as is humanly possible.

Here is a great way to make her feel absolutely awful:

HER: Oh, I can't make our date because my parrot is having an existential crisis and I want to see him through it.

YOU: Hmm. You know, I'm sitting here, with the phone in my hand, listening to you speak, and I realize I still don't understand what's going on. And I also realize I can accept hearing the full and complete truth from you. So, why don't you tell me again what's going on.

It's very important that you say that last sentence with the right inflection and tonality. You're implying a part of the sentence which isn't actually said which is, "...and this time tell me the truth."

Believe it or else, but nine times out of ten, the chick actually will fess up and admit her deception. That's when you pounce on her!

YOU: So, how does it feel to know that you're afraid to take responsibility for your own decisions and have to resort to lying about them?

Oh, the joy of battle, my brothers! Flushing a chick down the toilet of humiliation is almost as great a kick as scoring!

Now, once in a while, a chick will cancel, but when she does she'll make a counter-offer to go out again another time. This at least is better than a straight cancellation without such an offer, but I'd strongly advise against accepting. She could be just throwing you a bone to make you feel better, but even if she isn't, your accepting her offer of doing it another time makes you look too easily available and removes the element of your being a challenge to her. This will make you look much less appealing in her eyes.

Here's the right way to handle this. Let's say you have a date for Saturday, and she calls you Friday evening.

HER: I'm sorry, but I really can't make it Saturday. I've got friends coming in from out of town. But I really do want to see you. Can we go out Sunday instead?

YOU: No, I have plans for Sunday (even if you don't and you are dying to be with her - bite the bullet and refuse!).

At this point you have two options:

Option One

YOU: Why don't we try another time when your schedule is a little looser?

Then politely say goodbye, and hang-up. Wait 2 weeks, then call and ask her out for a specific night. If she doesn't accept or make a specific counter-offer, toss the number and move on.

Option Two

YOU: Well, I'll tell you, this is just the way it is for me. It's just the way I do things. When I make a date, and someone cancels, I leave it up to them to make the next date. So, if you want to go out, I'm interested. Call me, and I'll say yes.

Personally, I prefer this option. It's not as down and dirty as the first one, but it is effective nonetheless. By putting the ball back in her court, you don't have to spend the two weeks before you call, wondering if she's really interested (you shouldn't be wondering this, but it's hard to have that kind of discipline, and I'm a sucker for situations that I can't quite figure out). You can just safely assume she isn't interested, forget about her, and leave it up to her to pleasantly surprise you. And you also preserve the element of being a challenge, conveying the all important message I DON'T NEED YOU, YOU NEED ME.

OK. Now you're ready for the ultimate secrets. In the next chapters we're going to be showing you how, just by talking to a woman, you can get her so damned turned on during the date that she'll be itching to screw you. Hang on to your hats, gentlemen.

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