Here are a few hard and fast rules you can abide by when you want to flirt with a woman.
1. Use flattery - Like the old saying goes, flattery will get you everywhere! Women love it when nice things are said about them (I mean, let's face it, who doesn't?). Just make sure what you say genuine! Not only do you not want to get caught in a lie or sound insincere, but why would you want to compromise your personal integrity by complimenting something you actually don't find appealing or interesting?
2. Greet others with energy - First impressions are always important. It's much harder to start an interaction with someone at a low energy and build it up than it is to start an interaction with high energy and let it settle. The more energy you come into an interaction with, the more the person you talk to will be willing to be swept away with it!
3. Make direct eye contact - Nothing communicates confidence better than direct eye contact with someone. Always be looking the person you're talking to in the eye. A hard, steady gaze can be quite seductive, but it also helps to establish a strong connection to the person you're speaking with.
4. Repeat her name - Personally, I have a terrible memory for names, so I usually like to repeat the person's name a couple times in conversation just to try and remember it. However, this is also a great tactic to use when flirting, because you're making an effort verbally say the woman's name that you're talking to. In a subtle way, hearing someone say your name creates comfort and familiarity with that person. Do this with the woman you're talking to, and she'll feel exactly that!
5. Ask questions about her - Women do like to talk about themselves, and asking her about herself shows interest on your part about who she is and what she's about. Some dating experts out there don't recommend doing this because they think you place too much importance on the girl. I think that it's important to show you're interested in who she is as a person, but not only that, you're also gathering information so you can figure out common topics of interest that you can then relate to. For instance, if she once lived in a city you lived in too, you can then jump in and start talking about your experiences in that city. This helps create further connection between the two of you.
6. Share your life experiences - This relates to tip number five. You want to capture your target's imagination by sharing experiences you've been through. When you weave your own tales about yourself, you help shape other people's opinions of you. I cover this topic more in "The Art of Storytelling" section.
7. Speak with confidence - This is a HUGE deal when flirting. The last thing you want to do is communicate that you're scared or unsure. So know what you're talking about and be certain and secure in your knowledge. Don't be afraid to set the record straight or get into an argument if you know you're right. Women respond to male aggression and confidence quite well, as long as you don't go overboard with it.
8. Whisper - Nothing can be more flirtatious and seductive than the act of whispering. When you lean in towards a woman and lower your voice, it creates an aura of intimacy that is hard to resist. The closer you can get to her ear, the more intimate it becomes, and the connection between the two of you becomes stronger because of it.
9. Create and use nicknames - This is a neat little trick I picked up from a friend. When you name something, you symbolically express ownership of it. The act of giving the woman your talking to a name is quite powerful. Not only does it establish your dominance in the interaction, it also creates an image the woman you're talking to is forced to live up to. For instance, the one I like to use is "If you were a stripper, what would your stripper name be?" and when she responds, say "Hmmm. Actually, you look more like a Martini to me. From now on, you're name is Martini!" and then continue to call her that. Make a playful joke of it. Soon, she'll adopt the notion of sexuality that's attached to the name you gave her. Very powerful.
10. Leave her wanting more - You don't want to exhaust your flirting arsenal right away, so it's always a good idea to alternate between flirting and non-flirting signals, and keep this going until the end of your interaction. Constantly flirting comes off as too strong, and can be too hard to keep up in the sense of how much energy you put into the interaction, so alternating is a way to keep the ball rolling without burning out too soon. It also allows you to extend the flirting so that when it comes time to part, she's still interested in seeing more of you. Too often, men will allow the energy of the interaction to drop and by the time it's over, the woman has gotten her fill of you. So always end on a high note and leave her wanting more of you.
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