We've already covered confidence in detail, but to reiterate, you need to have the courage to meet new people if you want a healthy social life. More importantly, you have to be able and willing to do the work necessary to incorporate yourself into someone else's life. This means calling people up, meeting up with others, and going to events when invited. It means being able to chat with strangers at a party, being able to speak up in a group, being able to face rejection and awkward moments.
Laziness is death to a good social life. It's easy to be lazy. Nothing good ever happens without hard work. You have to be willing to keep in touch with others, via phone, email, text messaging, whatever! Otherwise, you'll fall by the wayside.
The fact is: you don't need to be incredibly skilled in social interactions to make friends in this world. But the better your social skills are to begin with, the easier this will all be. More people will like you and they'll be much more likely to want to hang out with you. Just making an effort to be friendly will usually be enough.
Tips For An Active Social Life
Now that we've covered the basics, let's go into specifics.
Tip 1: Be Positive - Look at each person you meet as an opportunity to make a new friend, and assume the person you want to meet will like you and want to be your friend! Positivity is attractive, and you will have people gravitate towards you when you project it.
Tip 2: Don't be clingy - Part of having a good social life is having options. Don't smother someone with your friendship. Sometimes you have to take breaks from people in order to keep a friendship going. Part of having lots of friends is that you aren't desperate for companionship. People like other people who don't really need them, because it offers a sense of freedom and casualness in every interaction.
Tip 3: Keep in touch - It's foolish to wait around for other people to call you. If you want to keep friendships alive and healthy, communication is vital! Call people up, email them, send them letters, do whatever it takes to keep lines of communication open. Otherwise, you run the risk of being forgotten about.
Tip 4: Keep informed - Be a hub of information. Know what fun events, such as parties or gatherings, are taking place. Know what you're friends are up to on the weekend or a certain night. Call them up or email them to find out. Keep tabs on everyone's schedules. Not only does this help you to know who to hang out with and when, but other people will call you to find out what's going on as well.
Tip 5: Be a planner - The best outings are the ones with lots of people. Take the initiative to introduce your friends to each other and strengthen your social circle. This is important because the more people you introduce your friends to, the more people they'll want to introduce you to. Planning outings can take some work, what with having to call people up, figure out where to go, what time to meet, etc., but it can be incredibly rewarding.
Tip 6: Invite others out - Too many people just wait around for the phone to ring. There's no shame in taking action and calling people up to see if others want to hang out with you. If you have something planned, even better! Most people are lazy, and if offered an opportunity to do something fun that requires little planning on their part, they'll do it.
Tip 7: Invite yourself - If a friend of yours has something going on, ask them if you can come along. Nine times out of ten they will say "yes." This isn't rude, just ask "Mind if
I tag along?" After all, if your friend enjoys hanging out with you, it shouldn't be a problem.
Tip 8: Be shameless - Don't worry about being selective. Invite as many people to hang out with you as you can. Be a true "social whore." You like being around people and should do it as much as you can.
Tip 9: Don't be picky - Agree to meet and hang out with anyone, at least initially. Sometimes it's easy to get an ego and start being selective about who you hang out with, but resist this. Give everyone at least one shot to be your friend, and then decide whether or not you want this person in your life. You never know who might surprise you.
Tip 10: Never turn down an invitation - If a friend calls you up and invites you to do something, unless you have prior commitments or other circumstances that prohibit you from going, take them up on it! Especially if it's the first time they're inviting you out with them. It's not only important to establish you're open to their invitations, but you now have the opportunity to meet other people in their social circle. And if you can't accept their invitation, offer a counter-invitation to meet up some other time.
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