These five actions are in a club no one wants to belong to, but once a member, you cannot seem to resign from. This is because beliefs, combined with actions, generate habits.
Habits of thought and habits of action. What you practice becomes your reality, and if you practice thinking and acting Old, Fat, Ugly, Stupid, and like a Loser, you are taking part in a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Let's further define these actions.
The Binger. Binging doesn't just have to do with being Fat, it can relate to all the myths you have about yourself. Binging is the action of excess. It's always about one more hamburger, one more drink, one more hit of ecstasy, one more lap dance. The binger feels out of control, like he can't help himself, and spirals down to extremes he feels ashamed of. It's this loss of control that makes him feel helpless, and reinforces all the negative thoughts he has about himself.
The Pleaser tires from doing too much for others and not enough for himself. He is insecure about himself and his abilities, and seeks the approval of others to fulfill his needs for validation. He feels weak and dependent, alone and unappreciated. He longs for someone stronger than himself to come along and tell him what to do. He's upset at his lack of strength.
The Whiner complains, resents, and despairs. He feels sorry for himself because he feels "unfairly treated" and there is "nothing he can do about it." The Whiner is always the victim, never taking responsibility for his actions and therefore never learning from his failures. He's afraid of success, since he has grown accustomed to whining about what goes wrong. The whiner attracts as much pain and suffering as he can to himself in order make his complaints "real" and "valid," despite the fact that it's not in his own best interest. He feels angry and jealous, always seeing what he doesn't have and not focusing on what he does.
The Procrastinator prefers to work on all those trivial tasks - tidying his desk, cleaning the kitchen, staring at the TV, or sleeping - rather than facing an important responsibility that might not turn out well. They're complacent and scared, afraid to go past that which is familiar and risk failure for the sake of success. They prefer to be lazy than work hard, and therefore see opportunity after opportunity pass them by. They give into their fears, hoping they will pass, as opposed to facing what they're afraid of. But procrastinating never works out the way one hopes. Before you know it, it's too late, and you have missed an opportunity, and now have to deal with the consequences of your inaction.
The Avoider somehow refuses to dial the phone to make the call he ought to make or to make other social contacts that might expose him to criticism. He always imagines the worst happening, and doesn't want to face the possibility that something could go wrong. He plays things "safe," and works himself up into a ball of anxiety before anything bad could possibly happen. He's a defeatist of the worst kind, thinking that he knows things are going to turn out for the worst.
All five of these actions actively destroy confidence. They re-enforce every negative thought and feeling you have and negate every positive one you can experience. They are habit forming, and if your thoughts and feelings are going to change, these habits must be broken.
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