Let's now learn a new concept: the concept of mental state.
Contrary to what we might like to believe, our mental states are not constant: they change all the time.
We can be happy in the morning, sad in the afternoon, angry in the evening, a minute before in love and a minute later we may hate the one we loved.
Men tend to use logic to repress emotions for the purpose of keeping their mental state as constant as possible.
Women let themselves go and give themselves the permission to slip from one emotional state to another.
Men-lead society has conditioned women so that they have learned to hide these traits of theirs very well, so well indeed that men rarely notice it.
Women in reality live all the time in a really intense emotional world, functioning like a chain of emotions, where every emotion leads to the following one, in a never-ending chain. As we said above:
Emotion a leads to an emotion b > c > d > e > f and so on.
She may wake up in the morning and be happy because the birds are singing. She may become sad looking at her red dress as soon as she remembers that a girlfriend told her she does not like it. And maybe, after having changed the dress, she can feel full of life and joy while walking to work.
She may receive a telephone call from her boyfriend who interrupts her while she talks, and she may feel he does not understand her and for this reason she might not feel like buying a newspaper and reading the news and so on.
She can let herself go with the flow of the emotions and not even feel the presence of any conflict in spite of the fact that her emotions are irrational and not logically connected to each other.
In spite of the bullshit she may tell to you, while seducing a woman keep in mind this principle:
A woman never feels guilty about her emotions and is not worried at all about the integrity of her emotions and behavior as a man would be.
If she sees a red dress and remembers how her girlfriend told her it does not look good on her, she will displace this feeling on the environment - i.e. on you if you happen to be there at that moment - and she will not give a shit about how this affects you and others.
Of course, she can say:" Sorry. I am being very nervous and agitated."
But in female language what she really means is:" I don't give a shit about how this affects you. I am nervous and agitated and that's all! Live with it!"
So don't take her seriously. To seduce a woman put even more oil on the fire. Don't try to understand her "logic." That would simply drive you crazy and could also ruin the relationship. For example:
She: "This red dress is shit! It does not look good on me at all!"
He: "Don't worry dear! We buy a new one!"
Wrong! Male logic! You assume that buying a new dress will calm her down. Things only get worse in that way. Correct approach:
She: "This red dress is shit! It does not look good on me at all!"
He: "You're right Sweetie! Imagine if you were a Spanish bull-fighter, you could stop the bull wearing that dress."
Of course she will get pissed off. And you - calmly - put even more oil on the fire.
He:" Now you remind me even more the bull than the bull-fighter with those angry eyes!"
She:" You are a fucking bastard!" But, she now calms down.
He lets her feel all the emotions connected with the dress, without worrying - not even for a second - about solving her problem. That is what the deeper primordial part of her really wants: a man who does not loose his head over her emotions.
She does not want a man who buys her a new dress any time she feels strange emotions.
For this reason the road for bringing the most beautiful women to bed is:
1. Learn to "read" a woman's emotions. Read her emotional state at the precise moment she feels it and realize that there is no guarantee of constancy in her emotions.
2. Learn to express yourself in her emotional language and communicate with her emotional STATE as we described above, without worrying about logic at all.
3. Learn to influence her emotional state to make her feel certain emotions. And that can be done through language.
NLP psychology (Neurolinguistic programming) has demonstrated that words and detailed descriptions cause emotions in others and influence the mental state of others.
This point is extremely important when it comes to seduction.
A general rule is this: using words, descriptions and language you can influence her mental state.
When you want to seduce a woman, imagine you are an orchestra director and imagine that she is the orchestra and her emotions are the music.
Your dash is to learn to direct her emotions and lead them in a romantic and sexual direction or better, in any emotional direction which helps you in your seduction.
And influence her to feel these emotions exactly with you!
The best of seductions has in principle two steps:
1. Influencing a woman's emotional state using words, descriptions and language, with the purpose of having her feel romantic and engaged in sexual emotions - or better -any emotional state which helps you in your seduction.
2. Influencing her emotional state using words, description and language to have her direct those emotions towards you.
Here are two examples of conversations between a man and a woman. In the first case the man is not an expert in seduction. In the second case the man has read my book, has done the field practice and really knows how to direct the "orchestra."
Let's say she is a healthy lifestyle freak and wants to keep herself in shape by going on diets and doing sports.
Example 1 (wrong approach)
He:" Would you like some coffee?"
She:" No, no I hate coffee! How can you drink a poison like that?" (She puts her emotions on him, in a typical feminine way)
He: "Don't be silly. You know very well coffee doesn't damage anyone!"
She: "Anyway I worry about my health. Thank you very much, but I don't want any coffee." (Irritated.)
She:" Even worse! What world are you living in? Don't you know that there is caffeine in Coca Cola, too?" (She laughs, in a non-respectful way.)
He:" What's your problem, Lady? After all I only want to have a little chat with you to get to know you better. Come on! Let's go to a bar!" (Irritated, confused, already going into the subservient frame, uses logic.)
She: "No, no bars are so noisy! Maybe some other time. Bye!"
Of course at this point 98% of men (non-players) will think:" What a fucking bitch!"
Well let's see how an expert player would handle this approach.
He:" Would you like some coffee?"
She:" No, no I hate coffee! How can you drink a poison like that?"
He: "Yes. It is a tremendous poison. It enters your stomach. It bores holes in it. Slowly a strange pallor comes to your face and you loose consciousness... " (He does not take her seriously. He tells her that smiling in a slightly sarcastic but funny way.)
She:" Don't play games please. You should know that health matters have to be taken seriously." (She smiles too. She is challenged and is interested in knowing more. Who is this guy who passes her tests, does not take her emotions seriously and has the guts to make fun of her?)
He:" Interesting. You are interested in health matters? Tell me more..."
She:" Yes. I am a homeopath and I have a healthy lifestyle. I really don't understand how people can damage their body drinking coffee!" (She smiles and is relieved. This guy really knows how to communicate!)
He:" True, true. People do not respect enough their bodies. Why did you choose homeopathy?" (Genuinely interested.)
She:" Boring! Are you always so serious?"
(She tests him again. She tests him to see if he looses his control over such a personal comment. Women do this to men all the time. See the chapter on women's tests for this.)
He:" Only when I talk to spoiled, little ladies and to protect the bartender from an emotional breakdown." (Sarcastic, without loosing is cool, making fun of her)
She:" Don't make fun of me! Health is such an important thing! (Surprised and interested: he really must be a self-confident guy! 90% of men would not have passed these tests!)
He: "Very, very seriously! I know a vegetarian restaurant here in town."
She: "Which one?"
He:" The Little Green Lady."
She:" Bastard! Don't make fun of serious things!" (Laughing like hell. He is a hell of a guy! He does not take her seriously!)
He:" So let's go there and have a bite and you can explain how I can get serious."
She:" Really? Come to think of it, I haven't eaten yet. Now what's that restaurant really called?"
And in a short while they are together in the vegetarian restaurant.
The Little Green Lady is touching the hand of her new Hero. She is telling him how good he is at understanding her.
And only because she feels coffee is bad for your health! This happened because he is so good in influencing a woman's emotional state.
In the first example the man took her emotions seriously, used logic, got scared by her emotional reaction, did not pass her tests and thus went rapidly into conflict. That's the way women can rule men with weaker personalities out of their lives with only a few words.
In the second example the man did not take her emotions seriously, passed all her tests, succeeded in influencing her mental state and in attaching her emotions to himself and got her to go with him to the vegetarian restaurant. Ironically she felt understood and accepted just because he did not take her seriously, not even for a second.
She remained particularly impressed by the fact he was so masculine in talking about her emotions while at the same time he didn't really give a shit about what she said.
This is the secret dream of every woman because a woman does not want to take responsibility for her emotions. She remained impressed by his self-confidence and proceeded to go to the restaurant with him. He succeeded in seducing her by showing to her that he is a leader.
In fact the meaning of the woman's tests in the second example is:" If he does not give a shit about my emotional states and at the same time is able to interpret them and have me going where he wants, that means he is a leader." All the tests come from her primordial, instinctual part, looking around for the best genes.
In a man women look for extremely feminine qualities:
- The ability to interpret and influence their emotional states.
And at the same time for extremely masculine qualities:
- The ability to not give a shit about their emotional states and lead them as a leader.
For these reasons many men complain that they do not understand women. To understand a woman to a larger extent, a man should have the leadership abilities of an Alpha male and at the same time the sensibility of a lesbian.
After you have read and put in practice the knowledge and the techniques of this book you will be able to use both these qualities at the same time, in the right proportions and at the right moment. That will turn you into an irresistible seducer.
In the second example, there is something very important from the point of view of seduction. The guy in the second example was leading the woman.
This will be the subject of the next chapter.
In fact an expert seducer must be able to understand and influence a woman's mental states.
Even more, he knows that every woman is endlessly testing a man for a certain trait: dominance, the ability to be a leader.
In fact every woman dreams at a primordial level of meeting and being impregnated by the:
Alpha dominant male.
This will be the argument of the next chapter.
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